


Lady Stark

by jpena



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-23
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2018-02-22 09:04:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 54,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2502182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jpena/pseuds/jpena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I don't understand father?" She said with a puzzled brow. </p>
<p>"Baratheon is to marry one of the Tully girls." </p>
<p>Cersei felt such anger toward her father. "What am I to make of this father?" </p>
<p>"You are to marry Eddard Stark, Lord of Winterfell."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

The Seven Kingdoms were at open war. Robert Baratheon won at the Trident and Prince Rhaegar was dead. She was confined at Casterly Rock while her father and uncles tried to get Jaime back. Aerys held her other half as leverage for his father. The king knew how much Jaime meant to her lord father. Cersei thought about Lyanna Stark, the northern girl who was the cause of this thrice dammed war. Prince Rhaegar was taken by the wild beauty and stole her away from Winterfell. She played a waiting game and not for the first time she wished she had been born a boy. If she were a boy she would have been the heir to Casterly Rock. She would be fighting along with father and uncle Kevan, but she was a girl, who was to be sold like a horse to the highest bidder. 

Her father promised her she would be a queen. Cersei didn’t know if father would make well on his promise. The players in the game changed drastically in the past few months, ever since that tourney. Rhaegar plotted and kidnapped Lyanna that same night. Baratheon had been furious and declared to avenge his intended’s honor. Father had almost smiled assuring her that it was time to seize the day. Soon they were all embroiled in a bloody war that threatened them all. Her lord father was aiding Robert’s Rebellion. King’s Landing was to be under siege in the upcoming weeks. She didn’t like being kept in the dark, hated even more to be in close quarters with her foolish cousins and her monster of a little brother. The little beast was off without a care in the world. She couldn’t glance at him without hating the mere sight of him. 

She was in her room trying to pleasure herself thinking of Jaime and his cock. She tried to remember that night when he deflowered her; it had been a couple of months before the tourney and their lives changed. She had seduced him. It had always been her. She was the one to plunge ahead and convince him to do things. She was braver, smarter, and more ambitious than Jaime had ever been but her lord father only had eyes for Jaime, brave, fearless Jaime who was now a member of the Kingsguard. They had thought that the solution. She was to marry Rhaegar Targaryen and be queen. There wasn’t any other way; Jaime had to be with her always. Such fools they were, her lover was at King’s Landing while she was in the Westerlands treated like a child. 

Her fingers slid inside her opening and she imagined Jaime’s fingers and mouth in her. He had her at least three times before she stood up and left for Casterly Rock with the old Hand of the King. She didn’t know it then but that was the last time she saw her brother. She thought bitterly to her father’s explanations. “The time has come child. We have to go before is too late for us.” Her father had the same cold, hard glint in his eyes. He meant his words and would not alter his plans. She pleasured herself until his name spilled from her lips. She slept better that night; thinking of Jaime soothed her a little. 

“Wake up child, your father arrived last night. He is waiting for you at his solar.” Aunt Genna shook the sleep away from her. 

“Myra, fetch some water.” Her aunt told one of her servant girls. The fat woman helped her up the bed into the privy. “You look a fright Cersei.” Cersei had a half a mind to shut this woman up. She was the Lady of Casterly Rock. Her lord father never married after her mother Lady Joanna died in the birthing chamber. “Your father has wonderful news to tell you. Lyanna Stark is dead and King’s Landing has fallen. You shall be queen.” Aunt Genna said giddily.

She went along; for the sake of things, if this old woman was right she couldn’t look like a commoner. She was ready for audience in less than forty-five minutes. Lord Tywin Lannister didn’t like to be kept waiting, she glanced at her reflection in the mirror and saw how beautiful she was; golden hair, perfect skin, luminous green eyes, svelte and proud. She was a queen, all a queen should be. 

She walked down the halls of Casterly Rock until she reached her father’s solar. She knocked on the heavy wooden doors. “Come in Cersei.” 

She stepped in and curtsied, “have a seat child. I have most wonderful news for you.” 

Cersei sat in front of her father. “The war is over. Robert Baratheon sits on the Iron Throne.” Her lord father said as if the news were just a remark about the weather. She felt her heart swell, Robert wasn’t Jaime but he was dashing and strong. He was heroic and he would make a wonderful King. She was sure of it. 

“He is to be married in three days.” Tywin Lannister did not betray any feelings. Cersei didn’t understand, the travel from Casterly Rock to King’s Landing was at least five days unless Robert travelled with her lord father. The wedding couldn’t be held in the Westerlands however; it wouldn’t be beneficial for the crown.

“I don’t understand father?” She said with a puzzled brow. 

“Baratheon is to marry one of the Tully girls.” Cersei felt such anger toward her father. She could have easily clawed his eyes out but she was a lady. The Lady of Casterly Rock, ladies did not raise their voices, she was a lioness and lionesses did not cry.

“What am I to make of this father? I am not one of your banner men or your lords. I don’t understand why these news should concern me at all.” She would remain composed. Tywin Lannister did not appreciate tantrums. She was not a little girl. She was a woman grown. 

“You are to marry Eddard Stark, Lord of Winterfell.” Tywin stood up. Cersei couldn’t not even if he asked. Winterfell, she remembered the direwolf sigil and the words. “Winter is Coming.” The north, that was so far away, she had never been so far away. The northern kingdom was so foreign so cold and strange to her. 

“Father surely a better match could be made. You promised me I would be queen.” She said with a calm voice void of any feeling. Father hated any displays of childish emotions as he called them.

“Alas I did child but Jon Arryn made the marriage agreements before Robert took the throne.” Tywin’s only sign of affection was a small squeeze in her right shoulder. “Cheer up, the North is the largest kingdom in Westeros. You will be lady of Winterfell.”

As she saw it as a punishment more than anything else, “I’m your only daughter and you would sail me to the end of the world. Away from my home, to the home of savages and wildings.”

“Spare me the mummer’s spectacle. I’ll find a way to release your foolish brother from his Kingsguard oath. Your union shall bring us prosperity. The Westerlands and the North together, power is power don’t forget it Cersei. Your future does not trust us. It was a trial convincing him to take your hand.” Her lord father said and then picked a book from the shelves. She took it as a hint that she was dismissed. 

She spent the rest of the week making arrangements to leave her home. They would travel to Winterfell that same week. Tyrion wouldn’t be travelling with them; it would only be father, a group of Lannister men and her. She only cried when Aunt Genna hugged her the night before she was to leave the Rock. She had been the only mother she knew. “You’ll do well Cersei. You’ll be the lady of Winterfell. You’ll have your own castle. Cheer up girl.”

“Aunt I don’t want to go. I miss Jaime; we were supposed to be together. Father was supposed to be the Hand, Jaime was supposed to be in the Kingsguard and I was supposed to be queen.” She said with tears in her eyes. She would was to be the wife of Eddard Stark. She heard tales of the Quiet Wolf, the men said he was cold, ruthless in battle a warrior she supposed he was quite a catch. She was overwhelmed, it was wrong. She should have never gone to that Maggy witch. She remembered the prophecy but she wasn’t queen. She would never be queen. 

As they travelled North Cersei learned many things from the guards and his father. Jaime refused to be the Lord of Casterly Rock. He swore an oath; it didn’t matter because he was known as the Kingslayer. Jaime killed Aerys, and King Robert made him part of the Kingsguard along with Barristan Selmy. Cersei didn’t understand why Jaime refused his title. She also learned that Robert married Catelyn Tully while Jon Arryn, the Hand of the King married Lysa, the younger sister. 

She remembered the Tully sisters; they were pretty but not beautiful. She was beautiful, regal. They stopped at various inns; it took them almost three weeks to reach the Northern lands. She learned a lot about her betrothed, Eddard Stark was never to be Lord of Winterfell. He was the second son of Rickard Stark. Brandon Stark was to marry Catelyn Tully but he died strangled in King’s Landing. After a fashion he was to be Tully’s husband but Hoster Tully saw a more advantageous match when he lent his men to Robert Baratheon. 

The welcome party was a small one, a maester, an old woman and a tall serious young man. He couldn’t be called ugly but he wasn’t dashing like Jaime or handsome like Robert. Eddard Stark was serious, his features cold, like this forsaken place. Ever since they crossed the Neck a bitter cold set in her bones. She shivered a little as she stepped out of the carriage. Her lord father helped her out into the snow. 

“Lord Stark.” Tywin said with a greeting, almost a ghost of a smile in his face. 

“Lord Lannister.” The lord of Winterfell said just as formally. 

“Lady Cersei.” Eddard Stark addressed her. Cersei curtsied, never forgetting her manners and breeding. 

His face didn’t betray any emotions. She was used to men looking at her with desire almost from the moment they lay eyes upon her. This man however merely glanced at her before addressing her lord father again. 

“Lord Tywin you will find your accommodations to your satisfaction.” Lord Stark wasn’t a gracious host. He led them inside the surprisingly warm castle. It was truly beautiful although it lacked some finesse. She would make sure to change a few things once she was the Lady of Winterfell. Lord Stark left them in the dinning hall and went to attend to something important or so he said. 

The old woman who was at their welcoming party led her to her quarters. “These are to be yours my lady. Ned’s quarters are next to these.” She motioned to an adjoining door. 

“Thank you. I wish to be alone now.” She smiled frostily and was glad when the woman let her be. She sighed; this place was to be her home from now on. At least the bed was soft and the place was warm. She would at least be able to run the whole household. Eddard Stark seemed to avoid being in her presence. He retired early and left at dawn to see to his affairs. 

The day came and she was surprised when her father escorted her to the old Godswoods. The Starks kept the Old Gods, she’d known but it seemed strange to wed outside of a Sept. She wore a golden gown; it was beautiful, made of fine details and fitted perfectly to her figure. She brought Myra along with her; the young woman helped her put her hair in one of the latest styles. She wore her emerald necklace, it had been her mother’s and father gave it to her on her last name day. 

“You look beautiful m’lady.” Myra smiled at her. Cersei smiled tightly too. All her beauty would be wasted in these cold lands. She wished for the hundredth time that Jaime were here. Her father waited outside her door. He commented on her beauty.   
“Don’t disappoint me Cersei, your brothers have shamed me for a lifetime as it is. Do your duty and give this man sons. Give him sons with Lannister blood.” Tywin told her as they walked to the Weirwoods. It was very cold and the heavy Lannister cloak helped her to stave off the chilliness. 

Lord Stark stood there with a Septon in front of an old Weirwood tree. The ceremony was surprisingly fast. Finally they came to the part that she knew, “Who gives this woman?”

“I Tywin Lannister, Lord of Casterly Rock do.” Her lord father said with a strong voice. 

She felt cold air when her Lannister cloak was removed. Eddard Stark put on a much heavier grey cloak. She looked to his cold grey eyes as he fastened the cloak on her shoulders. 

They looked at each other in the eyes for the first time. Her husband kissed her gently, nothing like the fire she felt whenever Jaime’s lips touched her own. She didn’t feel anything for this man, not an ounce of anything but indifference.


	2. chapter 2

Chapter 2

The feast was a grand affair. The entire North was inside of Winterfell; all the lords from the Neck to the Wall were drinking to the new Lady of Winterfell. She was kissed, introduced to Lords and Ladies for the best part of the evening. Much to soon one of her husband’s bannermen shouted. “Time for the bedding ceremony.” The men were gentle with her a few tried to grope her but Benjen Stark, her new brother in law tried to defend her honor. He was but a lad of three and ten years. She met him yesterday after he returned from the Wall. He was training there and only travelled to Winterfell for his older brother’s wedding. 

The women were not as gentle with Eddard his clothes were torn by the time they were in the bedchamber. “My lady.”

“My lord.” She replied trying to be as demure as possible. She was no maiden and would have to pretend as if she didn’t know the ways of the flesh. She tried to blush when he approached her and lowered he gown. “I apologize for what’s about to happen.” 

He led her to the bed and unburdened her from her gown. He was as gentle as could be, maybe a little too gentle. He touched the sensitive skin of her belly and lowered his hands to her core. Cersei gasped when he introduced a finger inside of her, his fingers were longer than Jaime’s. Her lord husband whispered close to her ears. “Forgive me my lady. It will only be painful the first time.” Cersei almost rolled her eyes but merely nodded shakily, keeping her mummer show. Her lord husband removed his small clothes; he was bigger than Jaime, thicker too. She felt a little dishonest by the comparison.

He entered her body and Cersei cried a little, it burned she didn’t have to fake the tears that rolled out of her eyes. Eddard Stark did not fully prepared her for this, it would have been different if he made her come first but her husband hadn’t. 

“Please don’t hurt me.” She closed her eyes and smiled inside when her lord husband moaned and stilled inside of her. He used his fingers to touch the little nub that gave her pleasure. She wondered where this northerner had learned to touch women. He was skilled she would give him that. In less than a few minutes he had her writhing under him. He pushed and pulled inside of her until she felt that tell tale sign of pleasure. Eddard spilled inside of her; he rolled to his side. They didn’t speak at all. She feigned sleep. He sighed, “Forgive me.” Eddard stood up from the bed. He left her alone.

Her husband never stayed at the castle not for more than a few hours. He woke up at dawn and left for the woods or was busy ruling over his lands. Her father left the North the day after the wedding and reminded her of her duties. Cersei woke up very morning and discovered something new about her new home. Eddard was in the process of building a new Sept for her, she didn’t care too much for the Gods but her lord husband was adamant. They didn’t know each other; she wrote letters to Jaime, they corresponded in their secret language. They wrote about how much they missed each other. He wrote her about the gossip in King’s Landing. The queen was with child. Lysa Arryn had a lover; it kept Cersei entertained. She wrote to Casterly Rock too, Aunt Genna informed her that Tyrion was at King’s Landing visiting Jaime. Lord Tywin was at King’s Landing too, visiting the King. 

By her third month of marriage she knew she was pregnant. She wasn’t exactly thrilled with the news but she wasn’t indifferent about it either. She had assumed she would have children eventually. She hoped it was a boy, if she had one and then a spare father would be proud of her. 

She consulted with maester Luwin who confirmed her suspicions. She was pregnant, probably conceived within the first week of marriage. She didn’t know her husband, couldn’t tell what his favorite food was or if he liked cyvasse or had a pet when he was child but he never failed to do his duty. He visited her chambers every night. Their couplings were satisfactory; she had no complaints. She just didn’t care for her husband. 

That night when he came to her bedchamber she was ready for him. He undressed her and as always fingered her. “My lord, I have something to tell you.” She said trying to sound as timid as possible. Men liked timid women and Lord Stark seemed the type to like simpering, submissive women. 

“I am with child.” She smiled and was surprised when he kissed her a little too harshly. 

She was shocked and didn’t return his kiss. “Forgive me my lady. I am overcome with happiness by the news.” 

He didn’t touch her that night but kissed her again and left her quarters. Cersei didn’t mind at all. She was glad to be on her own. 

Her pregnancy wasn’t difficult at all but she did feel tired, she ate as much as she liked. According to Old Nan she could because she carried a boy and boys needed their strength. Father sent her congratulations while Jaime didn’t write her not even when she invited him to Winterfell. She didn’t let the news dampen her mood. Eddard tried to converse with her now, her belly bloomed and the baby moved. Eddard smiled whenever he saw her belly move. The baby kicked hard most of the times, by the sixth month Cersei decided that the baby would be called Joffrey. 

Eddard had to go to Dorne. He received a letter from one of his old friends from battle. His face was white as a ghost when he left. He told her nothing; she was too busy preparing a nursery for Joff. He came back a two months later with a new born. 

Cersei waddled down to her lord husband. “Why do you have a baby on your arms Eddard?” 

“My lady, please forgive me. He’s mine own son.” His eyes were contrite but his stance was firm. She did not she would like this conversation at all.

“You have a bastard.” Cersei didn’t like this at all, not because she was jealous but because of the threat that the boy posed for her son. 

Eddard tried to speak but Cersei wouldn’t let him get a word in. “You broke your oath Lord Stark. You have a bastard, why is he in our home?”

“He will live in the castle, his mother is dead; she died in the birthing room. He has no mother.” The babe started to cry. Cersei looked away. “Myra, get that thing, find him a wet nurse.”

Cersei’s fury was like wildfire, it spread quickly and before she was aware of it. “How dare you bring one of your bastards to our home? Have you no sense of propriety?”

Her husband looked at her coldly with a glint in his eyes. “I beg your forgiveness Cersei but he’s mine own and I will not have him away from me without a mother.”

He always called her my lady or Lady Stark never Cersei, “I do not care that he doesn’t have a mother. I do not want him here. He is not a Stark. My son is a Stark, your true heir.” She yelled angrily and lost her composure. 

“Jon is my blood and he will remain here.” The cold grey eyes left no doubt about his intent. Cersei reeled in anger. Eddard didn’t refuse her anything, but it was obvious that he wouldn’t surrender on the matter of Jon Snow. He would remain Snow. That little monster wouldn’t take anything away from her Joffrey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support :)


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Joffrey Stark was a stillborn. He had his father’s hair and looked a lot like Jon Snow. Cersei didn’t know a human being could cry as much as she did. She remembered the pain, the agony of the birth. She recalled Old Nan’s sad face. “I’m very sorry my lady.” The old woman had said. 

“Why isn’t he crying? Why isn’t Joffrey crying?” Myra tried to sooth her. “M’lady he’s dead.” Cersei yelled and cried. Eddard rushed in.

“He’s dead my baby is dead. They killed him.” She was hysterical with pain. She remembered the prophecy; three children all with golden shrouds.” She cried and Eddard had to hold her. 

“My lord we’ll have to bury him before he starts to decompose.” Maester Luwin said. Cersei cried. “NO.”

“Let me hold him. Eddard please let me hold him.” Her lord husband nodded.

Joffrey looked as if he was sleeping but he was dead, he never breathed, not one single breath. She cried for weeks, her body was the cruel reminder that she had given birth but her baby was dead. 

Tywin sent a letter with his condolences and also urged her to try for another child as soon as she was able. The queen had given birth to a girl Myrcella was her name.   
Cersei tried again, this time she carried the baby until her fifth month. She woke up to bloody sheets and yelled for Myra her handmaid. The child was a dwarf girl. Cersei didn’t recover from the ordeal and almost gave up on the idea of another child. Her lord husband tried to comfort her but she was a lioness of Casterly Rock. She didn’t need to be comforted. 

They tried again. Maeter Luwin advised her against it but Cersei had to give Eddard an heir. Her father sent her another letter on the importance of holding the North. He knew about Jon Snow, the only one besides Howland Reed who had sent the letter to Eddard. Sometimes Cersei prayed that the bastard died. She conceived again but this time the miscarriage was too soon. She was about to tell Eddard the news when she felt as if her moon blood was upon her. Cersei cried that night; she cried and shut the doors of her quarters so no one could hear her cries.

Her body ached, she was thirsty and Myra wouldn’t come not even after she shouted. Her breasts were swollen with milk, a reminder of her failed pregnancies. Maester Luwin told her that she should wait a year before getting pregnant again. He thought her body wasn’t built to withstand pregnancies easily. She forbade him to speak to Eddard about her latest failure but she knew that the old man wouldn’t heed her orders. 

She stepped away from the bed and went to the kitchens. Myra, that useless girl forgot to leave fresh water for her. She was dying for some water. She grabbed a candle and descended to the cold kitchens. The place was empty. Cersei had her fill of water when she heard the cries. She followed them to an adjoining room to the servant’s quarters. Jon Snow wailed about in his wooden crib. The wet nurse was nowhere in sight. Cersei’s breasts started leaking, a reaction to the baby’s cries no doubt. The baby was small, a scrawny thing, he looked sickly in her eyes. This bastard couldn’t be older than eight months. She could kill him, she could smother him and no one would know. 

She found a pillow on the nurse’s bed and came near the baby. Even if she never gave birth to a healthy child she wouldn’t have to worry because there wouldn’t be a bastard about to claim Winterfell. It would go to Benjen. She liked Benjen; he was a sweet lad but Benjen was a Crow. It wouldn’t matter, he would renounce his oaths or someone else would be named warden of the North. She didn’t care anymore.

She was about to smother the bastard when he opened his eyes and rubbed his eyes. She took a look at him. She remembered Joff’s sweet face; she memorized every single aspect of it before maester Luwin took him from her arms. This boy was a Stark just like her Joff had been, dark hair, grey Stark eyes. His nose was different and maybe his ears but other than that. This baby was so alike her own. If Joff were to be alive he would be under seven months. He would probably look like this. Cersei dropped the pillow and picked Jon Snow. 

The baby stopped crying and rooted for her teats. She cried and foolishly, very foolishly succumbed to her inner desires. She never knew how much she wanted to be a mother. It was the only thing she could do. This cold wasteland had nothing to offer her. Jon suckled at her teat. It hurt at first but then Jon opened his eyes and clutched the teat as if it had always been his to drink from.

“You are a hungry little pup.” She sang to him and climbed the steps to her quarters. The nursery was in her room. The same nursery she prepared for Joffrey, this baby wasn’t Joff, he wasn’t even hers but he had no mother and she had no child. She thought about Maggy again. “Three dead children.” She cried and touched the baby’s cheek.

She changed his soiled small clothes after he was fed. He rooted for the teat again and she switched sides. Jon was a nice looking babe. He suckled strongly; she burped him and put him next to her. She closed her eyes for a few seconds, she was too tired, and Jon was finally asleep. 

She woke up to bells ringing. The noise woke Jon up; she rubbed the sleep away from her eyes and stood up with the baby on her arms. Jon rooted for the nipple again. Cersei gave him the teat. He clutched. She could hear her lord husband’s yells. 

“I want the whole castle searched. Rodrick search the woods, Maester Luwin send a raven to town. I want my son back to his chambers before dawn is here.”

“They’re searching for you little pup.” She whispered and held him to her. Cersei opened her door and walked down with the baby at her teat.

“I’m so sorry m’lord I only was gone for five seconds and the lad was gone. I saw a man climbing out the window.” The nursemaid cried.

“Liar.” Cersei said as she walked down.

“My Lady.” The maester went to her side to unburden him of Jon. He tried but Cersei have him a flinty look. 

“She was not in her room. I would give half of Casterly Rock and say she woke you less than thirty minutes ago. I have had Jon for hours in my chambers. He was starving, crying. Where were you wench?”

“M’lady I…” The nursemaid looked at her then at Lord Stark and at her again. 

“You shall have your bed tonight but upon the morrow you shall be banished from Winterfell.” Eddard did not look at the young woman. He kept his eyes trained on her and his son. 

“All of you leave now.” He said and everyone did his bidding without protest.

“Cersei I don’t understand.” Eddard was puzzled he came close to them as saw her nursing him.

“His mother is dead. Don’t lie to me Eddard. Is she truly dead?”

“Yes.” He replied. 

“Who is his mother?” She asked. Jon opened his grey eyes. 

“You are. You are his mother Cersei.” Eddard said with as much fervor as she ever heard from his voice.

“But I am not. He didn’t come from my womb. I didn’t birth him, I can’t.” She said almost crying with sadness. 

“He’s alive because of you. Jon doesn’t like wet-nurses’ milk. That was the fifth one we hired for him this month. He drinks goat’s milk. Maester Luwin and I don’t know what to do.”

She shook her head, “He’s a bastard.” She looked at the babe in her arms and brushed a stray curl from his forehead.

“Of course my lady.” Eddard came close to her once more and tried to pry the baby from her breasts. Cersei tightened her hold. 

“Joffrey is dead.” She said while looking at her lord husband in the eyes. 

“He is my lady.” Eddard replied cautiously.

“Maester Luwin spoke with you.” She stated, her voice cracking despite the efforts to appear strong in front of this stranger. Eddard Stark her husband of a year and a half remained a complete stranger to her. 

She didn’t know how he would react to his maester’s news. She was deemed unsuitable; she understood the tone in old Luwin’s soothing tones. Her womb couldn’t carry and the only time it did it was a stillbirth. She would be sent back to the Rock, her father would be so disappointed. Cersei Lannister, proud lioness and daughter of the Rock, unfit to have children. A disgraced woman, how long until she was in the shadows of Aunt Genna or another Lady Lannister?

Eddard looked at her with his calm grey eyes. “My son needs his sleep. My lady?” He took the baby from her arms. Cersei felt bereft, cold and empty again. Jon was nestled in his father’s arms. Eddard left her there with her right breast out. She trailed after him.

“Where are you taking him?” She asked while fixing her gown. 

“To the kitchens. Old Nan would see to him for the rest of the night. You shan’t concern yourself Lady Stark.” Eddard replied as he walked to the servant quarters. 

“No, he will cry. I know it so.” As if on cue Jon let out a wail.

“You won’t be able to hear him from your quarters my lady.” Eddard said coldly.

He tried to sooth poor Jon but he only shook him too hard causing Jon to get scared. “Hand him over; you’re hurting him.” Cersei comforted Jon and was moving before Eddard realized her intentions. She climbed the steps briskly and she was back to her quarters with Jon safely ensconced in her gown. She placed Jon in the bed and washed him. “We shan’t have you dirty Jon.” The baby tried to grab her hair and giggled. Cersei couldn’t help but laugh.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, enjoy this chapter :)

Chapter 4

Eddard didn’t enter her rooms nor asked any questions for the rest of the night. Cersei was going to have Jon back in the kitchens by the next day but she didn’t. She summoned Myra. “I need another handmaiden for Jon. She will make sure his clothes are clean, ready and he’s happy when I’m busy running Winterfell. Fetch his clothes and toys from the kitchens.” Myra looked as if she wanted to say something.

“M’lady your lord husband asked me to place the bastard boy back with a new nurse.” 

Cersei looked up from the bed. Jon was sitting in the bed trying to reach for some strands of her blond hair. She looked sharply at the servant girl “Never call him that if you want to keep working in this castle.” 

Myra trembled and curtsied, “yes Lady Stark.”

Old Nan came in to her room. At first Cersei didn’t like the familiarity in which the old woman addressed Eddard. She didn’t know her place. “I have come for the little lad.”

Jon was playing with a pillow, trying to eat it in reality. “I spoke with Myra. I shall speak with Eddard too.”

“He is not your babe child.” The woman sat in front of her.

“I know he is not.” Cersei cursed herself for the tight knot in her throat.

“He could be yours child. You have fed him, your body strengthens his own.” The half blind woman said.

“I won’t allow a bastard under my roof.” She tried to sound confident and strong but she wasn’t. She sounded like a petulant child. 

“You could love this child. No more need to cry and be miserable. You could love this child. You don’t love my Ned but you could love his child.” 

“I love my lord husband.” Cersei lied automatically. 

“You do not but he does not love you either. He loves Jon, you could love Jon if you wished too.”

“I will not be made a fool.” Cersei replied angrily. Jon’s existence was an insult to her.

“Better a fool with a castle to run than a foolish woman back in her father’s household.” Old Nan patted her hand and left the rooms. 

Cersei stayed with Jon for the better of the day. She fed him, washed him, played with him. She forgot about Tywin Lannister, Eddard Stark, Jaime and even Joff. All she could think of was Jon’s dimples and his easy smiles. She took her meals in her solar. Eddard was off to the Dreadfort. 

She didn’t expect him and was surprised when he entered her rooms. Eddard was always polite and knocked; he never intruded not even when he performed his marital duties. 

“He’s not Joffrey.” Her husband said as greeting.

“No, his name is Jon, Jon Stark. You wed his mother before you wed me, a foolish mistake. You thought you were going to die in Robert’s Rebellion and seized the day. You thought she was dead when a raven reached you from Dorne, your lady wife died in childbirth.”

“That is not true.” Eddard gritted his teeth.

“Who is she then? Some tavern wench you fucked and then forgot about. Ashara Dayne, Lyanna perhaps?” Cersei hissed. Jon was asleep in his crib by her bed. 

“She was no one.” Eddard replied. “I will not lie.”

Cersei frowned, Jaime was right; honorable Eddard Stark would never besmirch his honor. “Very well then, Jon will be treated as a bastard. You think you can protect him here. You do not know how the game is played my lord. He will be scum, never rising above anything because of his status as a bastard. He could take the black and be Commander of the Night’s Watch. A life of solitude and disdain, or he could be a lesser guard in King’s Landing or any other major city.”

“Winterfell would go to Benjen if he renounces the Black which could brand him as an oath breaker. He’s a sweet lad but can you imagine him Lord of Winterfell?”

Eddard frowned, “I was never to be Lord of Winterfell. Brandon was. Benjen would accept his duty too.” 

“Benjen is not an oath breaker. He took the black and will not renounce it. He hurts whenever he’s here my lord.” Benjen Stark hated Winterfell, too much hurt. 

“What will you have me do Cersei?” Eddard raised his voice. She had never seen him so fraught.

“Write to the king, tell him this tale. Jon would inherit the lands, your titles.” It pained Cersei but she wouldn’t suffer through another miscarriage. Luwin had been clear; her body wasn’t fit to have a child.

“What about our children? Your children.” Eddard said softly.

“Eddard, I don’t think I can. Not again.” She was still bleeding from her latest miscarriage. She couldn’t face the loss of yet another child. Cersei thought she was proud, indestructible but she mourned her three babies deeply, even her little girl who was so much like her hated baby brother. 

“Cersei, I don’t know how to repay for this.” He touched her face tenderly and looked into her eyes. She saw the stormy grey eyes and smiled. “Find it in your heart to not return me to the Rock.” She said with real tears in her eyes. The North was cold, vast and dull but it was better than to be humiliated at court in King’s Landing or the Westerlands. 

He shook his head, “I took an oath Cersei. I wouldn’t consider sending you back.” She nodded.”

“Thank you my lord.” She said trembling like a leaf. 

Eddard went to the crib and kissed his son good night. Soon she received two ravens from King’s Landing. Lord Tywin was furious and demanded that she do her duty. The child was a bastard and couldn’t be lord of the North. Cersei wasn’t too distraught. Tywin Lannister thwarted by a mere boy, not even a year old. Jaime consoled her on her latest miscarriage and applauded her shrewdness. She wouldn’t have to lay with Eddard Stark anymore. He had an heir, Cersei shrugged, her twin was correct.


	5. Chapter 5

Jon thrived; Eddard didn’t take him away from her chambers. His first name day came and went. He toddled around the castle with her behind him. She held his little hands as he practiced his walking. “Be careful my pup.” She would say as he tried to run with his unsteady legs. 

Jon called her mamma, and she didn’t correct him. He was her only diversion, her bright spot in this bleak place. Eddard was always too busy with his bannermen, fighting wildings and whatnot. She was the Lady of Winterfell and it fell to her to run the castle. She usually spent mornings reading and running errands to make sure the castle was running accordingly. In the afternoons she read, played and fed Jon. She also wrote letters to Jaime, Aunt Genna and occasionally father. By nights she dined with her lord husband and they made small talk about Winterfell but most of the time they spoke about Jon.

She was in her solar playing with some wooden blocks. Jon loved to smash them to the ground. “Not so hard my pup.” She said when the baby pulled on her hair. 

“Mamma. Mamma, mamma.” He stood up on his chubby legs and touched her face. They were nose to nose. She smiled when he yelled and hugged her neck, almost choking her. She didn’t notice Eddard by the door. 

He strode in and for the first time in many moons kissed her cheek. Eddard sat down next to her. Jon was always shy around him. She thought it was because he never spent any time with the baby really. Eddard was always busy and only spent time with Jon when they ate dinner or he was asleep at her breasts. She weaned him off a couple of days after his name day. Jon had teeth now and he wasn’t shy about biting. He still liked to sleep at her breasts however. 

“Go to your father Jon.” She said as the baby hid behind her blond hair. 

Eddard smile ruefully, “He doesn’t like me much.”

Cersei shook her head and then grabbed a squirming Jon and placed him in her lap so that he was close to Eddard without touching him. 

“He does not know you Eddard.” Cersei said plainly. She remembered being scared of her lord father. He never spent much time with her or Jaime for that matter. Lady Joanna was their only parent as far as they were concerned until they turned five and mother told them that the blond man was father. 

“How does one get to know an infant?” Eddard asked puzzled.

Cersei didn’t look at him, but she could feel those cold grey eyes on her, she played with Jon’s chubby fingers. “Well you have to take an interest in him. Play with him, teach him things, he’s a happy baby.” She smiled when Jon squirmed out of her hold and toddled to find a wooden horse Tyrion sent him. 

“Ion” Jon told her. Eddard looked at her puzzled one more time. “He’s trying to say lion.” She replied and smiled at Jon. He was a very clever baby. 

“No, that’s a horse.” Cersei whined like a horse, she heard Eddard’s laugh for the first time in a year and half of marriage. She looked up and saw her husband with his head back against the bed. 

Jon giggled too and she couldn’t help but smile a little. “My lord husband should compose himself.” She said with a haughty air. 

“I am most sorry my lady.” Eddard his voice filled with laughter. 

The baby grew bored with his toy and pulled a magnificent lion also a gift from her baby brother. “Ion, roar, roar.” He chanted and scrunched his face. 

“Yes a lion Jon. Jon the lion.” Cersei said and clapped when he roared loudly. 

“He’s a wolf. The wolf of Winterfell.” Eddard said and did something rather uncharacteristic of him. He howled loudly, the sound startled her but delighted the young boy who howled too. Cersei watched as father and son interacted. They ate in her chambers and soon it was time for Jon to sleep. 

Little by little she relinquished some of the control she had over the baby and went to her desk to busy herself writing letters to Jaime. Her brother wrote to her about the news at court. Queen Catelyn was with child again, Lysa Arryn had given birth to a girl named Sansa. Father was positively enraged with her for not giving him an heir. Cersei didn’t care anymore; father couldn’t reach in in the North unless her lord husband extended an invitation. It seemed rather unlikely that he would. Eddard didn’t hold her father and Jaime in any high regard. According to her lord husband her father had ordered the Mountain to rape and kill Elia Martell’s children, Eddard had gone south to rescue his sister only her death united Robert and him again. 

The baby fussed and rubbed his little eyes. He grew tired of his father and went to her. He toddled to her desk and pushed his hands up. Cersei picked him up and put him on her chest. 

“What is he trying to do?” Eddard asked curiously. 

“He’s trying to nuzzle my breasts. He wants to be fed.” She gained a little satisfaction when her husband looked uncomfortable. Jon had a chubby hand on her right teat as if he owned that teat. 

“I thought you didn’t feed him anymore.” Eddard was entirely too uncomfortable.

“I don’t but he fusses and can’t sleep before being held.” Cersei replied simply. 

That afternoon was the first of many more to come. Eddard would come by her solar after he was done with his duties and spend afternoons with her and his son. Jon was less inhibited around his lord father but he preferred her. Cersei was thrilled, Jon loved her more and she wasn’t his blood. 

“Lady Stark.” He would say formally and then play with his son or talk to her about things. She asked him questions about Winterfell and he would answer, it was refreshing because strangely enough Eddard didn’t think her useless, he valued her counsel and asked what she would have done. Cersei was versed in southern politics and tactics. They would speak about history and the seven kingdoms. 

A particular evening while Jon was outside with his nursemaid they spoke about their teenage years. “My father thought it would be you.” Cersei looked up from her needlework with a question in her eyes. Her lord husband was on the bed while she was sitting by the window. 

“The Targaryen wed their sisters but Rhaegar didn’t have any. My lord father thought you would be queen. He was at the tourney in the westerlands and was surprised when Aerys announced the union between Rhaegar and Elia Martell.”

Cersei left the needlework and answered him, “I thought so too. My father promised me I would be queen when I was eight years old.”

“Must have been a disappointment when Robert took Catelyn Tully for his queen.” His tone was curious not at all mocking. She smiled and decided to turn the conversation, “Forgive me my lord but you were to wed the queen.” Manners were a lady’s armor. 

Eddard nodded, “Alas I was but Jon Arryn had promised Hoster Tully a crown for Cat. The Tullys gave up the most resources to Robert’s Rebellion.”

Cersei of course knew all of this. In her two years of marriage to this man she discovered he was honorable, loyal, fair and truthful. She didn’t know how she felt about those qualities. He would have been swallowed in the Capital. 

“If you married Catelyn she would have given you a daughter already.” Cersei commented. 

Eddard didn’t look at her. “We have an heir. The crown doesn’t.” He replied, she smiled briefly and he smiled back at her. He was kind, so very kind. She never met someone so kind that didn’t set her on edge. She despised nice people, they were gullible, and she didn’t like it when people didn’t have agendas or ambitions. Eddard was different. He was reserved but honest. She turned to her needlework when Myra burst in. “The little lord is dead.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading :)

Chapter 6

Cersei stabbed her fingers with the needles as she ran down the stairs. Jon couldn’t be dead, he was her boy; her little pup couldn’t die. Her husband was behind her, they went outside and there by the stables was her baby, on the ground bleeding. Maester Luwin crouched by him. 

“No.” She yelled and ran to her pup. She was speechless, the maester yelled at some men to get things from his solar and a pallet to put Jon in. “Is my son dead?” He asked the maester. “No, he’s very much alive but we need to get him inside and make sure his wound is cleaned and sown. His spine is fine.” Cersei breathed a little easier. “What happened?” The lioness in her demanded retribution, she was angry, angrier than she had ever felt in her life. She distantly remembered being this angry with Tyrion when he was born and killed her mother. 

Beth, the nursemaid was crying profusely, “I’m sorry m’lady.” Cersei growled, “What did you do?”

“We were playing and the lad wanted to have a close look at the horses. I must have turned to pick some wildflowers for him.” The girl sobbed noisily, “When I turned he was on the ground bleeding from his little head.” Cersei came close and slapped the girl hard. She didn’t stop; she slapped her again and again until Eddard held her against him. “Cersei.” He held her tight. The nursemaid was crying and clutching her red face. Cersei would have done worse if Eddard had let her go. 

“Get out of my sight.” She spat and tried to get close to her again but Eddard had a vise grip on her arms. 

Maester Luwin put Jon on the pallet and they moved to the castle. They climbed the stairs to her quarters and put in in his crib. The older man worked silently. Eddard didn’t let go of her. She was crying silently, waiting for the maester to tell her that her pup would be fine. 

“Jon fell on his head.” I sewed his wound; there isn’t any damage other than the cut in his head. 

Cersei looked hopeful. “I am worried, he should have woken up by now.” Those words took the hope out of her. 

“What happens now?” Eddard asked, his hands on her shoulders. “We wait, we try to make him comfortable.”

Cersei cried when the maester left, big heaving sobs. She didn’t care that her lord husband was with her. She looked at the crib, her baby with bandages on his head, his eyes closed; he looked pale and so small. She remembered when she was pregnant with Joffrey and wished with all her heart that Jon died. She cried more and shied away from Eddard’s touch.

“Please get out.” He tried to touch her again, “GET OUT.” She lashed out. “This is your fault. If you hadn’t come to us I would have been with him. I would have been with my pup. This is your fault. Get out, get out.” She cried. Eddard left with pained eyes, like a whipped puppy.

She remained by Jon’s crib the rest of the night doing something she hadn’t done since her mother died. She prayed, she prayed to the Mother and the Crone. “Gentle mother please give him back to me. I will do anything Mother anything.” Cersei would go from asking each of the seven Gods for their mercy to rage. She cursed them, Eddard for bringing his bastard, her womb for not being able to carry to term. She cursed Jaime for leaving her and her father for not loving her. Tyrion for killing her mother. She stayed all night next to that crib, praying begging Jon to open his grey eyes. “Please Jon please.” She held his small limp hand. 

She slept close to him and at times. Eddard and master Luwin came in early the next morning. The older man shook his head. “He should be awake my lord. I’m sorry but if he doesn’t wake up in a few hours a fever would surely take over his body and then it would be a matter of time before he meets with the Stranger.”

Cersei shook her head. Jon would wake up; he would have to wake up. “He’ll wake up. He’s strong; he survived months traveling from Dorne and with goat milk.” She said convinced that her pup would do so. He was her only reason, she was barren, and he was sent to her. They were mother and child, even if she didn’t carry or gave birth to him. She had given birth twice, horrible pain that did not compare to the notion of losing this black haired babe that didn’t look anything like her or had a drop of her blood. 

Eddard came into the room and tried to take her to bed. “No please, he needs me. He needs me Eddard please.” Gone was her anger, she was a shell; the lioness was almost gone as was her fight. She wiped some wayward tears. Her lord husband nodded and left the room. She was praying to the Mother once again when she noticed that Jon was feverish. She ran out of her rooms to Eddard’s room. He was sitting on his bed, a candle by his bedside. 

“He’s feverish.” Her voice broke a little. She never saw Eddard so distraught not even when Joff arrived.

He went to fetch maester Luwin. Cersei went back to her room and fretted. Once the maester was in the room he examined the child and said solemnly. “We have to keep the fever down. There could be damage to his brain if we let the fever get too high.” 

She nodded and asked for Myra to fetch fresh water and pieces of cloth. “Lady Stark, it would be best if you rested. Myra can certainly make sure Jon is well taken care of.” Maester Luwin said 

“No, I can’t sleep, there will be plenty of time for sleep when Jon wakes up.” Cersei didn’t fail to notice the maester pitying stare. 

Three hours later the fever hadn’t broken, in fact Jon was getting hotter. The maester proposed bathing the child. In her desperation Cersei had Myra fill her tub with water. She stepped in with the baby in her arms, cradling him close to her chest. They stayed in the tub for thirty minutes until Eddard pulled them up. “You are shivering.” He said with the glint in his eyes that meant he was going to do as he pleased. 

She was wet and tired but the fever was broken. “We have to wait now.” Luwin left but Eddard remained in the room. “Cersei please lie down for a few hours. I’ll stay with Jon. You will get sick if you don’t.” She shook her head “No. I want him to look at me when he wakes up. He’ll be scared if he doesn’t.”

“He might not wake up Cersei.” Eddard said with a sad tone. 

Cersei turned to her lord husband. “He will wake up. I know it.” She remained quiet and prayed once again to the Father, the Mother and the Stranger. Once when she was a child aunt Genna told her that the Gods needed sacrifices. Prayer alone was not enough. She thought about what she loved most in the world and his face was forefront, Jaime. “Stranger please do not take Jon. Gentle Mother, please have this baby healthy again. Fair Father, forgive me for my sins. I swear to never lay with Jaime again. Please give me my pup again.” She said whispering quietly. She was at her wits ends; all of her resources and talents couldn’t help her now.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize. Thank you all for wonderful words :) :). Lady Stark is also on ffnet lol. Sorry again.

By early morning of the second day Cersei heard the sweetest sound. She heard a tiny cry and looked up from her hands and into the baby’s face. Eddard was in the weirwoods praying to his Old Gods. Jon opened his eyes and stretched his tiny hands. “Mamma.” He cried pitifully. Cersei smiled and picked him up very gently. Myra, her maid woke up. “Go and bring me Luwin and send for my lord husband.”

Maester Luwin checked on Jon. He dangled a bright jewel in front of him; Jon followed it with his eyes. He pinched his little legs to check his reflexes and checked the ugly cut at the side of his head. 

Jon was fussy and tried to reach for her at all times. “He seems fine.” Luwin said with a smile. Eddard came into the room and smiled. 

“Call him your ladyship.” Luwin said as he placed the baby back on the crib. “Jon.” The baby turned his head slowly looking for her. “Mamma.” He said with a whiny voice. Cersei smiled and held him to her chest again. 

“He’s tired, in pain but healthy. This is remarkable; children are truly resilient. I will be back with dream shade if he has trouble with the pain tonight.” The maester left quietly. 

The weight in her chest lifted. She was tired then, drained of all energy. She was walking but she was half conscious of it. She put Jon in the bed; he was quietly resting in the bed. The maester advised for the baby to have some warm milk. He was sipping from a contraption the maester gave to Myra. Cersei looked to Eddard who was observing his son with relieved grey eyes. 

“Eddard, help me.” She motioned to her dress. He helped her out of it. In that second she wished Eddard was Jaime. She wished he were Jaime so she could fall into his arms and take comfort. He wasn’t her twin, he was her husband and she had to forget Jaime. Jon was alive and normal, he wasn’t simple minded and he would be fine. 

Myra left once Jon was asleep. Cersei was in her shift, Eddard was in the bed touching Jon’s bandaged forehead. “Maester Luwin said he would be fine.” He told her again. 

“He is.” Cersei lie on the bed next to the baby, she closed her eyes briefly and the world was a safe place again. 

She woke up to Jon’s cries. “Jon.” For a moment she thought last night had been a dream and that the baby was still in danger. She looked to the side looking for him and found Eddard sitting with Jon in a chair by her bed. “He’s fine.” He could see the worry in her eyes. 

“Mamma.” Jon stretched his arms to her. Eddard came to her side and gave him the baby. Jon was clingy, something he hadn’t been days ago. “Maester Luwin was here earlier, he said he would be fussy for a couple of days.”

Jon laid his head on her breasts and tried to get his hands inside her shift. Jon cried more and more even when she caressed him and soothed him with words and soft touches. Jon kept crying and trying to nuzzle her teats. Cersei held him to her and bared herself to the baby. Jon hadn’t been breast feed for about six months. She doubted there was any milk for him to suck. The pup took to the nipple immediately. He sucked gently and quieted. He clenched and unclenched his hand on her breast. 

Her lord husband looked at her quietly. Cersei felt certain sense of embarrassment that she shouldn’t been feeling. Eddard had seen her naked more than once. She couldn’t help but feel uneasy. He looked at her differently, he wasn’t aroused, and there was something else. His grey eyes were not cold; she realized how much Jon looked like his father. 

“How long was I asleep?” She asked rubbing Jon’s small back.

“All day.” Cersei saw his tired eyes. She felt tired too. Jon’s suckles stopped and he was sleeping peacefully. She tucked her breast back in her shift. Eddard took Jon and put him back in his crib. Cersei thanked his foresight. “He’ll rest peacefully now.” Somehow Cersei knew that all Jon had wanted was comfort. 

“I should retire to my quarters. It has been a very long day my lady.” He bowed and made for the door. 

She stopped him; she didn’t want to sleep alone, not tonight. She needed comfort; he was the only one who could comfort her now. She was going to keep her promise and renounce to Jaime. “Stay here tonight.”

He nodded. She felt dirty and wanted to bathe. Eddard smelled foul too. “I want to bathe and sleep.” She declared honestly. “I had Myra draw you a bath for when you woke up my lady. The water might be cooling…” She grabbed his hand and led him to the other smaller chamber. She removed her shift, and stepped into the big tub filled with water. Myra had placed more water for when she rinsed. She was glad the servant girl had gone. “Eddard, join me.” Her husband nodded, he was fond of nodding and barely speaking. 

He removed his tunic and his breeches and he was in front of her. Cersei was glad to have this quiet time. She grabbed a rag and put some scented soap on it. She cleaned herself and then looked at her husband. He had his eyes closed; he didn’t look too comfortable. Her lord husband was probably used to washing quickly, not used to bathing with scents and soaps around. Cersei spoke up. “Come here. Put your head on my shoulder.” Water spilled as her husband changed positions and stiffly presented his head to her shoulder. She could feel all of his body against hers. Cersei missed having someone bigger to protect her and comfort her. She started lathering his arms and chest. He relaxed against her, she hummed a song Aunt Genna taught her when she was little. 

“Thank you.” Eddard said softly. Cersei rubbed his temples, “You should take more baths like this.” Cersei said delighted when he kissed her hands.

“I refer to Jon. All you have done for my child. I could never repay you. Anything you want my lady…” Eddard said softly. She liked the praise indeed. She was not going to tell him that Jon was her salvation. It would be best if he thought it was all done for him. Men were egotistic and liked to feel like the center of the world. Eddard Stark was an honorable man, one that felt compelled to be grateful and loyal. 

He rested his head on her shoulder and was able to see her face, “I want to know her name. Did you love her? Is she truly dead?” She could have asked for anything but she wanted to make sure that no woman would come and take away the place she had at Winterfell.

“She was no one. I don’t even remember her name. I had just learned that my father and brother were dead. Robert and I went to a brothel. He insisted I take her and I did. I shouldn’t have, I had learned that I was to marry Catelyn Tully and once again I was second best.” Brandon was always fierce, brave. I was just Ned. I wanted to have something that Brandon didn’t touch first. It was not honorable and it felt amazing.” Eddard spoke with passion about this woman.

“She’s dead Cersei. I saw her broken body. She threw herself from the whore’s tower; she couldn’t stand to look at my son. She alleged rape but I assure you she enjoyed herself.” Eddard said harshly. 

Cersei never heard Eddard speak so harshly about anyone, not even the Mad King. “I didn’t love her.” 

She finished washing him, even his brown hair, which was growing fast. They went to her chambers again and settled in the bed. Cersei didn’t bother to do any of her nightly rituals. She slept naked against an equally naked Eddard who was asleep as soon as his head touched the white fluffy pillows.


	8. chapter 8

Jon was back on his feet in no time. Cersei noticed little changes; he was more reserved but not less loving to her or his father. It was three months after his fall when Lord Stark received the raven. “Robert and his family are coming to Winterfell.”

“King Robert. He’s the king.” Cersei reminded him gently but Eddard took no heed. King Robert was his oldest friend and comrade. Cersei read the letter once her lord husband went to see matters of the stables. 

Jaime wrote to her too. His letter was filled with suggestions and love proclamations. Cersei steeled herself and remained strong in her resolve to rebuke any advances from her twin brother. Lannisters paid their debts after all. 

The day the king and his party arrived at Winterfell was cold, colder than usual. The king looked older but still handsome. The queen was radiant with her red shiny hair, and clear blue eyes. Her children looked healthy and every bit royal. Myrcella and Lyanna looked beautiful with their lovely read hair and blue eyes. They were all Tully. Cersei was a gracious host and smiled. She wore a real smile when she saw Jaime and even Tyrion who looked completely dejected for some reason or other. 

“Ned Stark.” Robert hugged her lord husband and clapped him in the back. “Take me to her.” Cersei looked quietly as the queen clenched her jaw. Lady Stark deflected this insult to the queen with grace that the monarch did not possess. 

“Your grace, may we go inside? The princesses must not be exposed to this weather.” 

The queen smiled and recovered, “Thank you Lady Stark. I see your son is rather used to the snow.” Cersei looked at Jon who chased after a dog. She was going to have Farlen’s head; she didn’t want Jon playing with the dogs anymore. “Of all days, he had to play today”. She thought. 

She gestured to Myra to pick Jon from the snow. Jon hated being restrained and only let Cersei or Eddard hold him. He squirmed and fought her. Cersei decided to avoid a bigger scene and took Jon from the servant girl, “Forgive me your grace.” She smiled gently. 

She didn’t fail to notice Jaime and Tyrion’s stare all the way to the hearth of Winterfell. The royal party enjoyed lunch, there was to be a celebration later that day in commemoration of the king’s visit. The princesses and Jon were taking their naps when Cersei had her first taste of the real Catelyn and not the well-bred queen. They were by the east wing doing some needlework. 

She thought the queen to be happy if not conventionally content with her life as the queen of Westeros. She was powerful after all. She was queen, the highest a woman in Westeros could achieve. 

Catelyn Tully wasn’t happy or content. “Lovely country.” She remarked. There was as storm brewing. Eddard had taught her the signs by now. 

“It has its charms.” Cersei offered politely. She was demure in her manners; the queen was gentle, if a little boring in her demeanor. 

“I thought it would be colder inside the castle.” The queen said. 

“I thought so too at first but Eddard explained why but I never quiet cared enough.” She said with a practiced air of complicity. 

“I was to be Lady Stark.” The queen said sadly. Cersei didn’t know if she liked the somewhat wistful tone.

“Now you’re queen.” Cersei smiled and was pleasantly surprised when the queen smiled too.

“You must be happy to have given Lord Stark an heir.” The queen stated. Cersei was caught off guard because there wasn’t any trace of falsehood in the queen’s voice or tone.

“I am. Jon is a very good boy.” 

“I wish I could give Robert a son. I hope this one is a boy.” The woman said happily as she rubbed her flat belly. 

“I’m sure you will give king Robert many sons your grace.” Cersei said dutifully. 

“Call me Catelyn please.” The women spoke quite some more until it was time for the feast. 

Jon and princess Myrcella were close in age and playing in her solar with Myra and the royal nursemaids. 

Cersei decided to wear a Lannister red gown with some fine golden earrings and jewels. She let her hair in one of the braids she had seen ladies of the North wear. Her green eyes sparkled. She looked beautiful. 

She waited for Eddard. He looked like Eddard always did dour and perfectly dressed. “My lady.” They descended to Winterfell’s great hall. She was a gracious host and greeted all of Eddard’s banner men. They weren’t too keen on her at first but with time they realized she wasn’t leaving and decided to make peace with her. 

The king and the queen arrived shortly after them. King Robert proceeded to drink and talk with the men. Eddard was included in that little party. Tyrion was nowhere to be seen. Jaime looked at her from his place by the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, Ser Barristan Selmy. The celebration was well on its way. The king was pawing at some kitchen maid. The queen’s eyes followed the uncouth sight of Robert Baratheon touching the girl’s large breasts. “Forgive Lady Stark, it's time Anna took her milk." The queen stood up. For a moment she was confused and then understood that Catelyn referred to the youngest princess. It must pain the queen to call her blood and flesh the name of a dead woman. A dead woman that still consumed the king's heart.

"I'll show you the way your Grace. These halls are completely different without the light of day." Cersei left the festivities with the queen.

"You are very kind Cersei. May I call you Cersei?" The queen asked softly.

"Of course your Grace."

"Catelyn." The red headed woman replied.

They walked to the queen's quarters. "I see you keep your own chambers. I do too." The Queen checked on her children while Cersei put a cranky Jon to sleep. Myra looked as hopeless as usual, "I'm sorry lady Stark but the lordling was quite determined to not sleep."

"Forgive me Catelyn. He took a fall last year and only sleeps when I sing to him. I had hoped today's festivities tired him out." Jon settled on her shoulder and his grey eyes looked warily at the queen.

"He looks just like Eddard and so much like my Bran." The queen cried.

"He shouldn't have died. I thought I could understand Robert. I can't. He mourns her, he calls her name every time he takes me." The woman was so unfortunate. For the first time Cersei was happy she wasn't queen. This woman was so unhappy, and to be humiliated by that great oaf of a man. The thought of Eddard calling someone else’s name while he took her made her grimace internally.

"You are a queen." Cersei offered. Catelyn dried her tears and took her free hand. "Jon, after Jon Arryn?"

"Yes, my lord husband thought it fitting." Cersei said.

"You must be so tired after such a journey. Sleep well my Queen." Cersei retired and instructed Myra to take care of the queen.

"I should listened to Old Nan and sent you back to the Rock." She said as a last warning to Myra.

"You won't have a complain m'lady." The woman said nervously.

Cersei walked to her own quarters. It was quite late; the feast should be finished by now. She carried a sleepy Jon. "Hush now pup." The baby whined sleepily.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and almost dropped Jon to the ground. She turned to face her attacker and found herself face to face with Jaime. He looked as handsome and strong as she remembered. She would have broken her promise had Jon not been with her. She cursed when he kissed her. She let herself enjoy one last kiss. Jaime noticed something amiss and stepped back.

"So this is Stark's bastard." He sported one of his smirks.

"Don't call him that." She growled. "His name is Jon and he's not a bastard."

"So the world believes but we know better don't we sweet sister." He actually laughed.

"Very clever of you to tell Stark to legitimize the spawn. All the Seven Kingdoms believe that pup is your first-born. Neither Robert nor father will clear the misconception. Father is angry, he does not approve of you not contributing to our legacy but he is rather furious with Tyrion at the moment.

Cersei appreciated the information her twin gave her. Jon would inherit the Rock too. She didn't know how she felt about that. It certainly tasted like victory. Tywin Lannister, the richest man in all of Westeros would die and leave his entire "legacy" in the hands of a wolf.

She smiled and Jaime took it as an incentive. He tried to kiss her neck. Jon whined at being squished and this time it was her who stepped back.

"I can't." She said simply, trying to not show how much it hurt to say the words aloud.

"Give the bastard to one of his maids. I found a place."

"No, I can't. And I told you, don't call him that." She said sharply.

Jaime tried to place a soothing hand on her arm. "Don't be scared Cersei. This will be quick, where's your sense of adventure?"

"I don't want to." She said and walked a few meters before she felt him yanking her again. He was going to leave bruises if he continued with his behavior. She was getting angry now.

"Cersei, what are you doing? If you are afraid you needn't be. King Robert will probably entertain Stark until morning." Her twin was annoyed, not used to her refusing him. 

She shook her head and then decided to break his heart. This was best for both of them. She had an oath to keep. "I don't want you as my lover. You are my brother, my twin but I love my husband." She conveyed all the disgust and regret she should feel for him.

Jaime laughed, "Is this a jape?" When he saw that her face remained unchanged all the mirth left his face. She could see the rage in his green eyes so like hers.

She walked up again, intent in reaching her quarters. Jaime followed her. "Stop. Go to the king. I am sure Selmy is looking for you."

"You will have to drop your son sooner or later and then we will be able to have words." Her twin persisted with an edge to his tone. He stressed the word son.

She went into her quarters and closed the door behind her. She placed Jon on his crib and wanted nothing more than to close her eyes and go to sleep but she heard Jaime shouting, "If you don't come out of those bloody rooms. I'll tear down the door and wake up the whole bloody castle." Her brother was serious. 

Cersei left the room and was taken aback when Jaime kissed her passionately again. "You love me, I know you do. Don't be afraid Cersei, we can run away."

She pushed him away with her hands, "and then what? You'll be a sellsword? We'll be poor, living with the common folk. Oh I'll look pretty as a tavern wench. What then Jaime? Do you think father will approve of our union?" She didn't fake the sarcasm or the disdain. She was Cersei Lannister, not some peasant. She was a lady, of noble birth. She wouldn't sacrifice it all for Jaime or any other man. Jaime was angrier than she expected. He shook her body. “You can’t love him.”

“He’s my husband what did you expect? It was bound to happen.” She shook free of him when she heard Eddard’s voice and laughter.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, 
> 
> thank you guys. This story is updated up to chapter 50 on fanfictionnet. For those of you who want to read more.

It was his laughter; the sound was loud and strange. Eddard rarely laughed, he only did so when Jon made animal noises. 

He was in his cups it seemed by the way he swayed and came to her. He kissed her right on the mouth. “Cersei, my lady wife.” He slurred as he kissed her again. She kissed him back for Jaime’s sake and her own. This was a complete stranger who was demanding and wanted her. Jaime needed to hear this; he needed to know that she belonged to another man. She moaned when Eddard tugged at he hair. It was not hard to pretend. Her husband was virile and his hands were doing wonders tonight.

She gasped when his longer fingers tried to undo her gown roughly. She could feel his arousal through his breeches. “Ned stop.” She said breathlessly. 

He groaned, “Call me Ned again.” She moaned when he tried to put his hand inside of her gown. She forgot about Jaime. Cersei had never heard her lord husband voice so passionate.

“I want to touch you my lady. I have seen my son touch your lovely teats and I must admit I’ve grown quite jealous of him touching you.” He whispered slowly and bit her neck again. She looked to the side and was pleasantly surprised when she enjoyed his ministrations. Lady Stark wanted Eddard to make her forget. Jaime was nowhere to be seen, she exhaled a sigh of relief and closed her eyes when Eddard pushed the door open and closed it with a slam. Cersei groaned when she heard Jon whimper. Eddard ripped her gown, he grabbed the front and suddenly she was in her shift. He growled again. She could hear Jon whimper again. “Your son is about to wake up Eddard.” He grabbed her right breast and kneaded softly. She gasped, it felt so good to have his hands on her body again. The last time he took her was before she accepted Jon as the heir of Winterfell. They worked well in the bedchamber. She heard him growl at her and they tripped against some useless furniture no doubt. “Be quiet, he’ll wake up if you make noise.” She whispered. 

“I want to hear you scream my lioness.” He tugged at her shift until it joined her ripped gown. She was naked in front of him; there were lines in her stomach from when she had been pregnant with Joffrey. She wanted to cover but Eddard didn’t give her time. He pulled his tunic up and his breeches down. He cursed when he forgot his heavy boots. Cersei looked at his body with desire. She wanted to have him; it had been such a long time since she felt his weight over her. She looked to his proud erection and felt herself become wetter. Jon again whimpered but he was sound asleep. “Not here. I don’t want the babe to hear us.” She said and pushed the door to his chambers open. She had never been inside of them but knew her husband slept through there. His quarters were minimally decorated, she didn’t take it all in because in matter of seconds Eddard was completely naked and pushing her to a big warm bed. The bed felt like a fluffy cloud would feel like. She was delighted when Eddard mounted her. She was so wet, and her husband kissed a trail of fire to her intimate place. He kissed her there, passionately without restrain. Cersei closed her hands around his hair and pulled. She cried out when his tongue delved deep into her crevices. She saw stars and whined when he licked her over stimulated parts. Eddard pleasured her in ways she hadn't experienced before. 

Her lord husband was extremely adept at pleasuring her quickly. Whenever he came to her bed he had been swift with his ministrations. He usually used his fingers first and then entered her. She enjoyed herself but longed for something else. That night Cersei finally comprehended what was missing. She needed passion, this man wasn't her stoic, proper and honorable lord husband. This was a man who desired her; he wasn’t licking her and bruising her hips with his grip out of duty. Eddard brought her to a world stopping orgasm when his tongue laved that special place. She fisted his hair once again and said his name in a strangled gasp.

He looked up from her mound. His eyes were the darkest she had seen. They looked like one of those grey snowstorms that happened so frequently in the North. “Call me Ned again.” He pinched one of her nipples and then looked at them lasciviously. “I want to bite and lick them.” He was disinhibited and didn’t wait for a response out of her. She was used to him being polite and asking for things. She felt her toes curl when he licked her left nipple and blew air on it. He bit it and then proceeded to suck. She arched to him and bared her chest to him. She wanted to rub her legs together and ease that delicious tingle between her legs but Ned pulled her legs apart and finally entered her. She was sufficiently wet to gasp and enjoy his harshness. He pulled at her hands and thrust oh so deliciously hard and fast. 

“Gods.” She murmured and came with a force unknown when he bit at her neck. Eddard pumped inside of her like a man possessed and she felt no shame. She loved and encouraged him to take her harder, faster. Ned thanked her, promised her things, and told her how good she felt around him. Cersei was sweaty, tired and sated. Her lord husband had her four more times that night. He was insatiable, he licked, bit, touched all of her. He even pulled her hair when he took her in all fours. Cersei was taken aback when Ned told her to get on all fours. She did so only after he coaxed her with his mouth. She trashed and screamed when he pounded her into the featherbed. He pulled at her half loose braid, tugged at it until it came loose completely. He growled and slapped her right ass cheek as he came. He put his mouth to good use after that and she was so aroused, she felt so desired she helped him get aroused with her mouth too. She never thought she would do that to anyone other than Jaime but she sucked and played with her lord husband’s cock like a proper whore. He told her so; he smirked when he saw her surprised face. He laughed a dirty laugh and when he was sated he pulled her back to his chest, his hand over her mound, in a rather possessive gesture. 

She woke up when a servant called her, “Lady Stark.” the woman said urgently. Cersei was naked, a pair of strong arms held her. She gasped when she saw one of Jon’s nursemaids in front of her. “M’lady, the little lord is having a proper tantrum. He’s asking for you.” The woman said a little fearfully.

Cersei could understand her hesitation. She was about to speak when she heard a rumble. “Leave. My son can wait a few more minutes. Have Luwin come at once.” Eddard groaned and tightened his hold on her. Cersei took notice of his hand in her left teat. He rolled a nipple gently. 

She didn’t know how to react to her husband. Last night had been very satisfying for her and him too. She didn’t know if he would return to his cold demeanor. “Cersei, I apologize. I was not a true gentleman last night.” He said in the gentle voice she was used to. His fingers traced over her teat. She turned around and saw his tired face, he wasn’t as dashing as Jaime but he was handsome. He was manlier, gruffer, his body had more scars and he didn’t care much for his appearance. “You have nothing to apologize for Ned.” She used the nickname and it changed his demeanor somewhat. “I like it when you call me Ned.” He said and the grey in his eyes turned darker. He closed the gap between them and kissed her softly. The kiss progressed rather quickly until a knock on the door interrupted them.

“That has to be Luwin. My head is pounding, I shouldn’t have let Robert talk me into drinking so much ale and wine.” He said mournfully. “I am sure the king is regretting drinking so much too.” She said with a placid smile, she was surprised to note it wasn’t rehearsed at all. 

She was sore in places she hadn’t been sore in quite a while. Maester Luwin brought need some tea for his aches. Cersei put on one of his husband’s robes and left to attend to Jon. The Stark heir was in tantrum mode this morning. “Mamma, mamma, mamma.” He screamed. Cersei glared at the handmaiden, “Leave you useless girl.”

“My poor pup.” Jon smiled through his tears and hugged her legs. “You smell, a bath is in order Ser.” 

She bathed the babe and waited until Myra filled a tub for her. She was scrubbed and pampered until propriety dictated she make an appearance in the Great Hall of Winterfell. She chose a green gown, her hair was loose, and she didn’t bother braiding it. 

Jon was to have a play date with princess Myrcella later that afternoon. Her lord husband was in the Hall breaking his fast with king Robert who looked unaffected by his exploits the night before. Queen Catelyn smiled at her; the little princess was eating a soft-boiled egg. Jon saw his father and ran to him. “Papa, papa.” He tripped on the steps. He looked back at Cersei as if to know whether it was safe to cry. She remained smiling and Jon got up on his chubby legs. He ran to his father waiting to be picked. Ned smiled pleasantly and scooped him from under the table. “Up we go lad.” He sat Jon on his lap. Cersei chuckled when Jon tried to grab some oatmeal with is fists. She sat next to her husband. She was relieved by the absence of her younger brothers. “Your graces.” She addressed the royalty. 

Jon continued with his antics. Cersei was a little mortified by the little lord’s behavior. Ned and the king laughed uproariously when the babe tried to grab some black bacon and throw it at Ser Barristan. “Let me.” She smiled at Ned and grabbed Jon. She seated him and fed him some oatmeal with some soft bread. She ate her fill and spoke with the queen about fashion and children rearing. 

“Ned does not want me to coddle Jon so much but I almost lost him last year to a bad fall. I have been trying to explain to him but he doesn’t understand.” Cersei said to the queen. “Last week, he they went riding, said he needed time with his father to learn about the weirwoods. He’s a baby.” She laughed trying lift the queen’s spirits. Lord Tywin Lannister taught her to keep her network of allies and friends charmed but the queen was anything but. “I should hope Robert spent any time with his daughters. He ignores them most of the time.” Cersei didn’t say anything more. Ned took special care with Jon. After that afternoon in his quarters he had built an indestructible bond with the dark haired child.

The kings stayed in Winterfell for three weeks. Cersei learned many things; first the queen was miserable, and prayed night and day for a son. The king had at least three bastards. One in the Eyrie and two in King’s Landing, he was too prone to drinking and whoring. She learned that Catelyn’s love for him diminished every day. Tyrion was to remain in Winterfell for the rest of the year. He wed a whore; Cersei almost pissed herself laughing when her father wrote her about it. She wasn’t too happy about having him but so far the Imp had been out of her way. He drank too much, read too much and by some of the whisperings she heard frequented the local brothel too much. 

Jaime hadn’t spoke to her since that night outside of her quarters. He was too hurt and enraged, the day the royal party left Winterfell had been sad indeed. “Good bye sweet sister.” He kissed both her cheeks and hugged her. Cersei hugged him back. Ned patted her shoulder, “you will see him again my lady. There will be plenty of opportunities.” Her husband thought her sad because she missed her brother. She was sad because she said goodbye to the love of her life, the only man she could ever truly love. 

Days passed, Tyrion sulked away from her. She didn’t care; it wasn’t like lady Stark had time to tease her baby brother. She was too busy taking care of Jon and surprisingly Winterfell. Ned gave her more responsibilities now. She was in charge of running the castle and its surroundings. She of course excelled at it; she felt powerful in the North and was starting to see the benefits of being Lady Stark. The common folk didn’t love her as much as they did her lord husband but they respected her and little by little she felt as if she gained some of their affection. 

She corresponded with the queen and her lord father. Tywin demanded she produced an heir as soon as possible. She didn’t heed any of it; she had requested moon tea from maester Luwin. The thought of losing another child cut her deep. Ned didn’t know about the tea but Cersei didn’t find him too keen on having another child. They had Jon and he would be enough. She pitied the queen; she had given birth to another girl by the name of Alayne. Tyrion stayed with them until the Greyjoy rebellion. Father summoned him back to Casterly Rock, no doubt with the hope that he would die while making the trip to the Westerlands.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will try to update as much as possible.

Jon was two years old when the king asked Ned to hold the North. Ned was to attack Pyke and stop the Greyjoys from taking Moat Cailin. Her husband would march with the strength of the Starks, Karstarks, Manderlys and Mormonts. They were ready to part within two weeks after the King declared the Greyjoys to be rebels. The night before they were to battle the Iron Islands was clear and calm. Spring was finally arriving. She brushed her hair delicately, Jon now slept in his own room. Ned insisted the boy needed his own space and also reminded her that he was no ordinary boy but the heir to Winterfell. “You coddle him too much.” She hadn’t spoken to him in a fortnight. He hadn’t visited her chambers during that time either. She was not surprised when she heard the door open. Her lord husband looked at her and then to the bed. 

She wouldn’t make things easier for him. Ever since the King’s visit they had rekindled their sexual relationship. The sex benefited them both, he was more passionate and disinhibited, they talked more after sex and it was not out of duty anymore. He was stubborn but so was she. Cersei looked at her aroused lord husband in the middle of the bed and decided to play with him too. She brushed her long blonde hair for another few minutes until she was happy to hear him growl. “Come to bed Cersei.” She gasped when she felt him lift her from her chair. 

She remained quiet even when he pushed her gown down. He and his lips aroused her. He nibbled on her collarbones. She remained passive, she knew he hated that; this man was all fire and instinct under that cold exterior and polite demeanor of his. “Jon is not a baby anymore.” He whispered and rubbed her small back. He wanted soft and gentle. “This could be our last night together love.” He never called her love. She looked into his grey eyes and wanted to hurt him. He loved her. She wanted to weep because she didn’t love him. Things would be easier if she loved him. 

He kissed her gently, teasing her lips open and trying to coax her. She moved her lips slowly too. “I love you my lioness.” He said as he pulled her to bed. She was happy here but didn’t love him. She didn’t love him and it saddened her. She forgot about his slights against her person. Mayhaps this was their last night, she would give him what he wanted or at least she could try. 

He lowered her to the feather bed and took his time with her body. She didn’t have to pretend to enjoy him. She did, she liked when he mouthed her, his strong hands on her breasts, squeezing, his mouth biting, teasing. She sighed and moaned when he entered her. He knew her body very well and took delight in pleasuring her. She moaned, sighed, trashed until she begged him to stop. “Ned, please, no more. I can’t.” She whined; he was soft, maddeningly slow and relentless. She was spent but Ned wasn’t, “I might not come back my love. I want to have the memory of your body fresh in my mind. I want to have your taste in mouth when I fight those iron men.” Her husband thrust slowly and spent himself inside of her. He crushed her under his weight and only moved when she squirmed. “Do you really believe you could die?”

“I was in a war before my lioness. I know how easy it is to die.” He said with his eyes closed completely relaxed. He called her lioness on occasion and always in the bedchamber. She enjoyed it but the word love. That was different, that was intimate, and she was his love. She didn’t want to be his love. 

They slept side by side; he sought her once more before dawn broke. He was to go after the first rays of sun. She woke up to his mouth on her. “Good morning lady wife.” He said before he took her lips with his own. She barely had time to register movement when he slid between her legs. He pumped inside of her lazily; she had her pleasure with him earlier. Now it was his time. He ravaged her neck and shoulders. She arched her back, her lord husband was not interested in her pleasure but seeing him reduced to this mass of lust of flesh aroused her more than advisable. She wrapped her legs around his hips and enjoyed his growls. He was keeping a slow pace. “Faster Ned, please faster.” 

“No,” he growled and thrust deeper. She opened her eyes and saw the movement in the door. She shrieked and Myra echoed her shriek. The servant girl was immobile by the door. Ned showed no signs of stopping, instead he thundered, “Leave now.” Myra never heard the Lord of Winterfell raise his voice she sped off away.

Cersei tried to move and talk to the girl but Ned held her to the bed and pumped faster. She closed her eyes and moaned, “Ned, she could tell people.”

Ned smirked, “She should have knocked, let us be kitchen gossip my love. Let the kitchens maids, the handmaidens know how much you please the Lord of Winterfell. I am sure such gossip will never reach your noble ears.” He groaned when she raked her fingernails over his back. She climaxed around him in a great shudder, carrying him over too. She was breathless under him. He wore the biggest, most sated smile on his face. 

She was about to mount him when they heard someone behind the doors. “My lord. We ride in less than five minutes.” Ned kissed her deeply. “I want to see our son before I go.” Cersei nodded and put on grey robes. Ned never said our son. He usually called him his son. She went to Jon’s room. “Wake up sweet pup. Your papa is going away.” She picked him up from the crib and tried to comb her fingers through his unruly dark hair. 

Ned wore his armor, he held Ice with his right hand. Jorah Mormont, Rickard Karstark and Howland Reed were by the gates of the castle. Cersei held no illusions as that what they were thinking about her. Her hair was messy and she was sure Ned left marks the night before. Ned saw her as soon as she walked out of the castle. She wore a heavier cloak and had bundled Jon up too. It was cold still.

Ned picked Jon and kissed his forehead. “Be good for your mother little wolf.” Eddard laughed when the babe nodded and grabbed his cheekbones. He put the babe by his hip and then kissed her. It was a slow kiss. She kissed him back just as slowly. “Take care my love.” She nodded and cried because he called her his love and she couldn’t call him her love. 

She truly became the Lady of Winterfell that week when Ned left. She ran all the affairs with maester Luwin advising her as much as he could. She lamented the fact that she was a woman for the hundredth time. She felt powerful in her husband’s absence. She oversaw all the details and preparations for the planting of the new crops now that spring was near. She was in charge of sending supplies to the Wall and managing the demands of the common folk. Maester Luwin commended her in her abilities to run a castle such as Winterfell and also be able to properly care for Jon who was melancholy because of Ned’s absence. 

Cersei didn’t notice her lack of moon blood until after her third cycle. She met with maester Luwin who confirmed her fears. “My lady Stark this is wonderful news.” Cersei cried and shook her head. “I don’t want to. You can’t force me.”

She stormed out of the maester’s chambers and went to Jon. She clutched his sleeping body to her chest. She wept and lived in constant fear from then on, she passed her fifth month, she ate healthily and tried to rest as much as possible. This pregnancy was easy on her. She didn’t experience any nausea or any other malady. She had a lot of energy, unlike her previous pregnancies where she had been moody, easily emotional and sick but she was worried about her belly. She had been very sick with her second pregnancy and when she had been pregnant with Joffrey she had been tired, sick and too emotional for her liking. She was fine; the only changes she noticed were her swollen breasts and her rounded belly. She was in her fifth month when she felt the baby inside of her kick hard. Joffrey had been a kicker too. She wiped her tears she wouldn’t think about her dead son. Jon was by her and could feel the kicks too. Jon looked puzzled at her. “That is your baby brother Jon.” The two year old didn’t know the concept of brotherhood. 

Cersei received ravens about the siege at Pyke led by her lord husband and the king. Ned hadn’t written anything. Her lord husband was too smart for that. It was general news, the iron born were weakening. She decided against writing him about the baby. Cersei did not want to say anything because of her history with pregnancies. She was terrified, she sought comfort with Jon; her little pup grew stronger and bigger every day. She watched as he played with wooden swords. He would play with some servant boys but Cersei didn’t like him playing with the common folk. There was nothing she could do because she was busier with Winterfell. At night she dared hope that the baby she was carrying arrived healthy and didn’t die. She thought about Jon, what if the baby lived and it was a boy? Could she love the baby more than she loved her pup? Her son was the true heir of the North. 

She went to sleep that night and woke up screaming from a horrible nightmare. In her dream she gave birth to a boy. Jon and him grew up as brothers. Father came to visit when the boys were eight and ten years old. Tywin Lannister grabbed her hands and gave her a dagger. “Kill him, kill the bastard.” Cersei cried and looked at the boys who looked exactly the same only her flesh was shorter. “Mother.” Jon looked at her with hurt eyes and tears when she stabbed him in his heart. She woke up “JON OH JON.” She ran to the baby’s room and cried in relief when she saw him asleep in the small bed. Ned insisted in no cribs anymore. “He’ll be training with a sword next year.” He said and opposed to moving the crib to the new room. 

She wiped the tears and thought about her unborn child. She knew at once that she wouldn’t, couldn’t kill Jon or strip him of anything. The child in the cot was as much hers as the one in her belly. Jon had saved her from despair, when nothing held importance to her Jon had brightened her life. Jon became her salvation and she couldn’t forget that. She would never cast him aside. She cried bitter tears of desperation. That night she realized how alone she was. She missed Eddard, after the King’s visit a year Ned had spent all his nights with her. She carried Jon and went to her bedchamber and tried to sleep but couldn’t. She stood up from her bed and went to Ned’s quarters and opened his wardrobes. They smelled of him. She put Jon on the bed and then put on one of his tunics. She hugged Jon and slept fitfully. After that night Cersei slept in Ned’s quarters. She let Jon sleep in his rooms however. She knew her lord husband was correct. Jon couldn’t be coddled too much. He was to be Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North.


	11. Chapter 11

By her ninth month Cersei was in constant terror. Ned was alive and well, he was to return to Winterfell in a fortnight or so she calculated. The Greyjoys had been reduced two months ago. Eddard Stark and King Robert took Great Pyke side by side. Balon Greyjoy bent the knee; his heir was to be a hostage in the Eyrie. Cersei couldn’t sleep; she anxiously waited for the agony of the birth. She was sure she would lose the child or it would be a stillborn. She felt a mighty kick one morning when she was at a meeting with Rodrick Cassel. She clutched her belly and panicked. The castellan noticed and sent for maester Luwin. The maester reassured her that it was just the baby trying to make his way out and that it wouldn’t be long before she felt labor pains. She went to Ned’s rooms and waited for the inevitable. She cried and was scared, not even the sight of Jon helped her. She felt the pains early next morning. She looked at the bed and found it wet. She was wet too. She yelled for maester Luwin. In less than thirty minutes she had an army of handmaidens, Old Nan and Luwin in the Lord’s quarters. 

Old Nan put her hair in a plait. She thanked the woman and did all the maester asked. “My lady, I can see the baby’s head. Push, my lady, push.” 

Cersei quietly winced at the pain but pushed, she was silent. She had been through this before. She expected Luwin’s sad eyes and gasps from the handmaidens. She didn’t expect the shrill cries of a baby boy. She opened her eyes and saw the delighted face of maester Luwin. “A boy. You have a healthy and strong son Lady Stark.” He said happily. Cersei laughed and cried at the same time. She wished Ned could be here. “I want to see him.” Old Nan handed her the baby. He cried mightily, he was an angry red little thing. He had dark hair just like Ned and Jon, he opened his eyes, and they were grey just like Jon’s when he was a baby. 

“He’s a Stark.” Cersei said proudly. Never once she thought she would be proud of her son resembling a Stark. The baby resembled his father and brother. “I think he’ll have your cheekbones my lady.” Old Nan said with a toothless smile. She smiled back. 

She delivered the after birth. Birthing was a messy ordeal but it was worth it to see the baby’s face. She was cleaned and bathed by her handmaidens. She fed the baby and asked maester Luwin about Jon. “Is Jon awake yet?”

“Yes, my lady and asking after you.” The older man said carefully. “Have Myra bring him at once. He should meet his baby brother.” She was sore and tired.

“Have you thought of a name your ladyship?” She nodded. “No, I want Ned to be here first.” She said softly caressing the baby’s little face. 

Jon shyly peeked from the door. “Come sweetling, meet your baby brother.” The two and a half year old boy climbed the bed and watched the baby. 

“He red mamma.” Jon said seriously with his most proper voice. 

“Yes sweetling, he is red. Many pups are red when they come to the world.” She answered and cradled the baby’s head as he fed from her breasts. 

“I pup.” Jon said with a furrowed brow. “Yes my love but now I have two pups. You have to protect your little brother, it is your duty as the eldest child my love.” She smiled and nodded when Jon gingerly kissed her face. Jon seemed entranced by the baby. He stayed with them in the clean bed. Cersei looked with delight at her sons one in her arms and the other asleep by her side. She closed her eyes with a smile on her face. She felt movement in the bed. She opened her eyes and saw Ned by her side. He wore a smile and kissed her slowly. “Thank you my lioness.” He said with a hushed voice. Jon and the baby were asleep. 

“You have given me three beautiful sons.” She almost cried. Ned counted Joffrey and Jon as their sons. 

She cried tears of joy when she saw his tears too. She kissed Ned, because she was happy he was here with her. “What should we name him?” She asked her lord husband. 

“Whatever you desire my love.” She didn’t mind the epithet. “Robb, after your friend.” Cersei said proudly. It was slightly fitting she thought, without the King and his visit this child might have not been born.

Ned nodded, his eyes never leaving hers. “As my lady wife commands.” He kissed her brow.

It was announced that little Robb Stark had arrived healthy. The King sent his congratulations and did the queen. Tywin sent a short congratulatory note and urged for her to remove Jon Snow from Winterfell. The lady Stark wrote excuses and half-truths. Her lord husband had the child legitimized and the Seven Kingdoms believed him to be from her loins. Their family would be the laughing stock if the court knew Jon’s true parentage. She hoped to keep him at bay with those excuses. Cersei recovered from the birth and nursed baby Robb. Her rooms became the nursery again. Ned had her belongings moved to his quarters and they slept side by side every night. Ned told her about the battles in the Iron Islands, the new knights and also the celebrations. “I fear the king has a child in the Vale too.”

“Another child?” Cersei asked once she was done with Robb and Jon was safely put to bed. 

“I didn’t know you knew about Mya.” Ned asked as she placed her head on his scarred chest. “The queen knows about them.”

“I pity her.” Cersei said while running her fingers over the pink tissue of his recent scars.

“You mustn’t speak that way my love.” She looked up and saw his saddened eyes. “Your friend is a dreadful husband. He doesn’t love our queen and lies with whichever wench he fancies.”

“I shudder to think it could have been me being the ridicule of the seven kingdoms.” She said honestly. She would have had Jaime kill him years ago. 

Ned smiled, “You are not. You are Lady Stark of Winterfell. Mother to my two handsome sons.” She smiled when he kissed her neck and shoulders. 

“How long do I have to wait my lioness?” He asked as he ran a hand over her leg. His eyes smoldered. She rather liked his interest. Cersei used her best innocent voice, “You don’t have to anymore. I went to maes…” She didn’t finish because Ned was on her again. She missed the closeness. It had been almost a year since he touched her intimately. “I have waited long enough Cersei. Every night I would go to sleep thinking of you and your hands. Your teats, your belly, your smell, your taste.” He nuzzled her neck and suckled on her neck. She raised her hands to his hair and moaned at his eagerness. 

She giggled when his fingers touched her core and found her wet. She wanted to enjoy herself tonight. Cersei mounted him and played with his cock. “You were gone for almost a year lord Stark. Did you take any woman while you were in the Iron Isles?” Ned was honest to a fault, he was stubborn and thought every one should live by a code of ethics. He was compassionate but firm. He looked into her eyes and replied. “Not one. I took a vow Cersei and I will keep it.” His eyes darkened and he tried to overpower her under him but Cersei planted her arms around his shoulder blades and lowered her core to his cock. She undulated her hips but didn’t take him inside of her. 

“Tell me about the battles.” She asked seductively.

He worried her lower lip with his teeth. “Robert and I met before sailing to the Isles. Stannis secured some of the isles while Barristan singlehandedly took another one. Robert and I took Pyke and forced Greyjoy to surrender.” He gave her a description. 

She rolled her eyes and smiled when he looked puzzled, “I knew that, we did get your ravens. I want to know what did it felt like to go back in battle.”

Ned laughed and she laughed too. “Do not laugh. I want to know. Jaime could never describe it properly.”

“It is exciting, there is a rush of power and knowledge that you could be gone at any second. There is fear but you feel triumphant when your enemy is down.” He said and massaged her back.

She smiled and kissed him. She wanted to feel powerful too. She trailed kisses down his chest and the pink scars. She lowered his face to his proud erection and licked him from tip to base. She loved when he tightened his hold on her blonde locks. He was about to explode but pulled her up. “I want to be inside of you.” She rode him hard.

When they were done and she was on his chest kissing the scars she giggled and looked up. He was utterly relaxed, toying with her long hair. “I used to switch places with Jaime when we were young. No one could tell us apart.” She boasted. Ned didn’t like to speak about her family much but he endured it for her sake. Oddly enough he was fond of Tyrion. He despised her father and Jaime for what they did in King’s Landing. 

“I used to train with swords until father found out. He hit Jaime and made me watch.” Cersei said sadly.

Ned kissed her forehead, “you must have been formidable.” He said and she kissed him on the mouth. 

“I was. Jaime and I used to fight with swords all the time until I grew these.” She looked down to her breasts.

Her husband touched them, “I am rather fond of them but I could see how they could get in the way.”

“Well, it does not matter now. I am a lady and will never fight in any battles.” She sighed. Ned kissed her lips, “say the word my love and you shall have your own master at arms to train you.”

Cersei kissed him hard. Her lord husband did have a way with his words when he chose to use them.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

She was with child again when king Robert asked her husband to join him at Riverrun for a celebration. It had been six years since Rhaegar fell at the Trident. Jon was four and Robb two years old. Cersei was in her fourth month. Ned had wanted to refuse but Cersei convinced him otherwise. “I want to go south.” It was the first time she actually wanted to leave Winterfell. She missed some of the courtesies of the south and truth be told she wanted to see Jaime and aunt Genna. 

Ned had wanted to leave Jon in the castle. There should always be a Stark in Winterfell. It was rather coincidental that Benjen had suffered an injury and needed to be tended by maester Luwin. Ned had not wanted to ride south. Cersei convinced him otherwise. “No, we are all going south.” She said firmly “Benjen is a Stark. There is your Stark in Winterfell.” She rubbed her belly and Ned acquiesced. He didn’t want anything to go wrong with her pregnancy. She had never thought she would be pregnant again. She noticed when she had nausea and tried to hit Ned upside the head because Jon got a scratch on his face while training. 

They travelled south with all their necessities. Jon and Robb played side by side with their wooden blocks and their swords. Well Jon tried to explain the games while Robb tried to tackle him to the floor of their wheelhouse. Ned rode ahead, he couldn’t be bothered to ride with them. Cersei understood he husband’s need to be in open spaces. Day after day they shed more of their furs. Robb and Jon liked the weather and played all day by the sun. She wore her lighter gowns; she now wore more blues and greys. The colors flattered her increasing girth. She hated travelling and her only comfort was that soon she would be in a castle. She would sleep on a feather bed with Ned to warm her. Her husband came to her at nights and asked her about her day and the boys. Cersei complained and he listened quietly, he soothed her feet and listened. Ned was too quiet sometimes. They were three weeks away from reaching the Tully’s stronghold when she felt the baby move. 

She smiled and stood up from her furs and pillows. She left her tent, Myra watched over Robb and Jon. “M’lady you shouldn’t get up.” Cersei ignored her and walked out looking for Ned. She wanted Ned to feel her belly. She found him laughing with Ser Jorah Mormont and one of the Umbers. “My lady.” Ser Mormont was the first to rise and bow. 

“My lords, forgive me for I can’t properly curtsy.” She rested a hand on her big belly. 

Ned came close to her and away from his banner men. “My love, are you unwell?” His eyes concerned and his hands went to her face. “I’m fine.” She grabbed his hand and led him deeper into the forest. The baby kicked up a storm.

They were by a river and big trees when She rested on the trunk of a big tree. “Feel this.” She put his hand on her belly. Ned smiled and kneeled. He kissed her belly. “Does it hurt?” he asked gently and followed the movements of her belly. 

“No, but it will once the baby grows some more.” She said enjoying the fact that she knew something he didn’t. She liked the way he was with her during this pregnancy. He was aloof and barely interested when she was heavy with Joffrey and absent when she was pregnant with Robb.

“Boy or girl?” She asked gently. She wanted another boy; Robb and Jon were so sweet and loving. They would grow to be powerful men, rulers of Westeros. They were her pride.

Ned looked up to her and wistfully said, “girl. A girl as beautiful and magnificent as you are.” Cersei felt an odd thrill at his words. Ned wasn’t one to wax on poetic about her. He only let her know that he loved her when they were alone, in the bedroom and he was too far-gone to care about propriety or anything for that matter.

The king and his party were set and the celebrations began before they arrived to the stronghold. The queen greeted them with all her three daughters. She was heavy with child again. The princesses; Myrcella, Lyanna and Alayne all redhead and blue eyed beauties, Cersei put on her best smile. Ned dismounted his horse and helped her out of her carriage. She smiled at the queen and waited as her sons jumped from the carriage. Jon was the perfect picture of propriety; he bowed in front of the queen. “My queen.” He said trying to sound grown up. Robb was another matter completely. He looked at all the princesses and the queen with distrust. 

The queen was taken with the children and they decided to go into her solar to talk. “Oh you must come to King’s Landing. Lysa and Jon Arryn couldn’t be here. She had another miscarriage.” The queen whispered sadly. The queen explained that it was her fourth miscarriage in two years. Lysa only had little Sansa who had come with the queen to the festivities. They spent all afternoon gossiping. The queen looked happy, happier than she had ever seen her. “I’m sure this one is a boy.” She said happily. Cersei told her about Ned’s hopes and Catelyn’s smile faltered. “If only Robert could be like your Ned.”

Cersei noted that her brothers were in attendance too. She had seen Jaime and her heart beat a little faster. Tyrion could be with whores or his books for all she knew. 

“Sweet sister. I would like to meet my newest nephew.” Tyrion said a little drunkenly. She admonished him; they were in an empty hallway. “You shouldn’t be drinking. Why are you always drinking? Where’s father?” She asked hardly bothering to greet him. Jon and Robb were curious about their uncle.

“As charming as always I see.” Tyrion drank more from his wine cup. 

“Why are you so little uncle?” Jon asked. Cersei put a protective arm in his shoulder and waited for Tyrion to do something nasty as he always did.

“I don’t know Lord Stark, but I shall tell you when I learn the answer.” Tyrion patted the boy’s head. Robb tried to reach for him and touch his face. Her younger son was too amicable to his uncle for her liking. He wasn’t like Jon who was wary of strangers. Robb distrusted first and then threw himself at whatever stranger he liked most.

“Father has not arrived.” He swayed, “I’m going to find that redheaded whore who looks so much like our queen. They must be related.” He scampered away. “Tyrion.” Cersei exclaimed scandalized that he used such language in front of her sons.

“Mother, what is a whore?” Jon asked as they walked to their quarters for the event. 

“Don’t say that word again pup. Your uncle doesn’t know any better. He should be having classes with the septas and the maesters.” She said quietly. Jon hated lessons with the septas. He preferred to be training with swords and riding.

Cersei walked with her children to her quarters she was glad when she found Jaime in a darker hallway. “What is it with us and dark passages?” Jaime said with a trace of irony in his voice. She smiled, she didn’t care Jaime was there. He looked older but still as handsome as ever. 

“Children meet your uncle Jaime.” Jon was especially happy to greet him. Cersei had told the children all the tales of her childhood and that uncle Jaime was a knight of the kingsguard. Ned hated it but couldn’t do anything about it. He couldn’t stop her. She was with them all day and would tell her babies all about the adventures she and Jaime had when they were children. 

“Mamma says you are truly brave and protect the king and the princesses. She says that you slayed a dragon. Did you uncle? Did you kill a dragon?” Jon said bouncing on his heels. Jaime looked at her with puzzled eyes.

“Answer him.” Cersei continued and waited. Jaime liked children and broken things. He loved Tyrion even after he killed their mother.

“Yes, but I didn’t slay a dragon.” Jaime said.

“May I see your sword?” Jon’s eyes gleamed. Her brother unsheathed his sword and her son gasped in awe of the blade. 

“Ohh.” Jon said. 

Robb watched the sword with the same awe but he could not keep his mouth shut. “Papa’s Ice bigger.” Cersei giggled.

Jaime looked utterly confused, “he means the sword. Ned’s sword is bigger.” Cersei said.

Her brother scowled, “meet Robb Stark.” She said and pushed Robb forward with her hands. His face changed as if reminded that she belonged to another, he looked at Robb with melancholy. “He has our nose and mayhaps our cheekbones but otherwise he’s a Stark.” 

Jaime’s stare did not linger too much on either of his nephews. “Lovely children. Where is your lord husband this evening?” Jaime tried to feign nonchalance but it was obvious that he still wanted her.

Cersei had a long time ago realized how impossible their love was. She loved him but they could never be. She had an oath to keep and Ned didn’t deserve such treachery from her, regardless of her lack of love. Eddard would no doubt leave her and take the children from her. She wouldn’t be able to live away from her babies.

“He is waiting for us in our chambers.” She said with a forced smile as they came closer to the rooms in question. 

“Sweet sister, I wish to have words with you if you please.” Jaime stopped before reaching the doors. Ned came from the other end of the corridor and the children ran to him. Ned laughed and lifted Jon up to his arms while picking Robb. “My lady, Ser Jaime.” 

“Lord Stark.” Jaime said stiffly. The children ignored her and Jaime. “Papa, I saw the big river. Not like the rivers at home and there were a shack and a clearing and the water was not cold papa. I met mamma’s brothers too.” Jon chattered while Robb giggled when Ned jostled him.

Ned carried them to their quarters and closed the door behind him. “Sister.” He offered her arm and the walked the opposite way. Cersei knew she shouldn’t have but he was so close to her and she truly missed him. He never wrote after the king’s visit to Winterfell. “How far along are you?”

“Almost seven months.” Cersei said with a small smile. This was safe territory, she could speak with him just like when they were children, before they touched and kissed each other. 

“You look ready to burst.” Jaime said honestly.

“Yes, my sons were big babies.” She answered with a laugh. 

“I still love you Cersei.” He stopped and jumped in front of her.

“As do I brother but I love my children more.” She said truthfully. His eyes shone with hope that she would have to dash once again. In that moment she remembered why these walks were dangerous. He would make wild promises of escapes and the free cities.

“I have gold Cersei. We could run away take your son, sail across the narrow sea.” Jaime kissed her hands desperately.

“My sons.” She said a little forcefully.

“We’ll take the bastard too if you want.” Jaime said derisively.

“He’s no bastard. He’s mine, you best remember that sweet brother.” Cersei said coldly.

“What say you my Lady?” Jaime said with a smile as he tried to break the tension he created with a caress to her wrist.

“I say no Jaime. Ned would never stop looking for his children and me. Above all brother, I do not wish to leave his side. My children love their father. They would never forgive me if I took them away from him. Ned loves us, he would never forgive me." Cersei said and was surprised by her words. She did not want Eddard to think lowly of her. Ned was the only man who had given her any power. Jaime agreed to switch places with her because she dared him. As soon as her blood came Jaime treated her differently too. He refused to switch places. Jaime loved her; she knew that, he would kill for her. Ned would kill for her too, Ned would die defending her but he wouldn't do anything dishonorable. Her lord husband loved her and wanted to protect her but he trusted her too. Ned consulted with her. He made sure she could run Winterfell in his absence. He asked her counsel and valued her insights. 

Jaime however thought of her as his, something to protect and cherish. Ned saw her as his partner, an equal. Cersei didn't feel less than her husband. Although it had never been his intention making her feel less Jaime was the golden child. His father shunned Tyrion and thought her stupid. Ned believed in her. She couldn't repay his trust and love with betrayal even if she didn't love him.

Cersei wanted to speak about something else. "Is it true that Lysa Arryn has another lover?"

Jaime thankfully took the hint and grabbed her arm as they walked. "No, she has the same lover since she came to King’s Landing."

Cersei didn’t care for such gossip but it was something to talk about when they were alone and still together. She asked about his life in King’s Landing, Jaime told her about it and they walked around the castle. She was growing tired of walking and wanted to lie down in bed. This baby was bigger than Robb and Joffrey had been. 

“We should be heading back.” Cersei rested a hand on her belly. 

Jaime avoided looking at her belly. She knew him better than he did himself. He thought that if he didn’t look at it would go away. This baby wasn’t going away; it was real just as real as her marriage to Eddard.

He kissed her cheek goodbye and lingered. Cersei did not begrudge him that contact. It was harder for him; he was alone. She had her children and Ned. “Good night sweet sister.”

Ned waited for her in bed. Robb and Jon were fast asleep in their cots. She sat down on the bed and asked for help to remove her dress and jewelry. Ned unlaced her dress and rubbed her back gently. She put on a white shift and lie next to her husband. “Did you have a nice conversation with your brothers?”

She nodded and closed her eyes. “I only saw Tyrion in passing. He was drunk and looking for whores. Jaime and I talked. Lysa Arryn has a lover.” Ned scowled. “I wouldn’t trust the kingslayer’s words.” Cersei scowled back and moved away from his chest. She turned to the wall. She felt his hands snake around her belly but didn’t say a word. “The Mad king would have killed you if Jaime hadn’t cut his throat.” She said harshly. “Don’t call him kingslayer again.” She closed her eyes and quieted. Ned rubbed her belly but didn’t say anything else.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

During the night she must have moved. She wasn’t used to not sleeping in Ned’s arms. She opened her eyes and caressed Ned’s chest and sighed when he kissed her head. “We must join the celebrations today. I heard your lord father might be here tomorrow. He comes from the Westerlands with your aunt Genna and her Frey husband.” Cersei raised her face to his and kissed him gently. “Good morning my love.” He said and rubbed her belly with his free hand. 

She nuzzled his neck; she liked these quiet moments with him, before the children woke up and demanded their attention. “I hear the tourneys start today for the queen’s name day.” She said quietly lest the children wake up. 

“Yes, Robert is to be in the melee.” Ned said with a yawn.

“I trust you will not participate.” Ned did not like to pretend, he never enlisted in any of the tourneys in the north. 

“I will, Robert goaded me and I accepted. I will be jousting only while Robert will join in the melee.” Her husband said.

Cersei raised her head, “you hate tourneys. I had to beg you to hold one on your last name day.”

“Robert needed a distraction. This gives him a purpose, he drinks too much.” Ned said simply. “I joined only because he insisted. I do not intend to win.” She shook her head and attended to Robb who tried to climb down his cot.

She joined the queen and her daughters. Robb and Jon remained at her side. Tyrion joined them, “dearest sister.” The imp kissed her cheek and sat down between her sons who played a rather intricate game of knights. 

“Your brother is quite colorful.” The queen said with an edge in her voice. Cersei nodded and changed the subject to pregnancy stories. They talked and then walked down to join the festivities in the castle grounds.

The children were left with the handmaidens and strangely enough Tyrion who did not wish to attend the tourneys. “King Robert will win in the melee. Ser Barristan or Jaime will be the jousting champion.” He said as he pretended to be a dragon for Robb’s sake. Cersei told Myra expressively to watch out for her brother and her children. “Make sure you are always by their side. I do not trust my brother.”

It was a sunny day, no clouds, perfect for a soak by the Trident. Cersei wore a purple gown while the queen chose to honor her house colors Tully blue and red. They waddled to their seats and amusedly observed the melees and the distractions. As predicted by her dwarf brother king Robert won the melee. Catelyn smiled tightly when the king kissed a servant girl who gave him a skin of wine. Cersei could not imagine the terrible shame the queen must feel every time that oaf pawed some woman. She was once again glad that Ned was an honorable man. 

The jousts were cleaner and a more beautiful affair. Ser Barristan was elegant but lost to a formidable Jaime. Her lord husband defeated Ser Mormont and one of the Walders Frey that roamed the lists. Soon it was down to a couple of men. Cersei wondered if Ned had changed his mind and decided to fight. Her lord husband changed his mind indeed because he defeated the Hound and Ser Trant without much effort. 

The final joust was between her lord husband and brother. She watched with some trepidation as both men faced off. Jaime was slighter and quicker but Ned was bigger and stronger. Their fighting techniques were sights to behold. Jaime attacked ferociously but Ned defended and gave no mercy. He did not give an inch of territory. They jousted and when it seemed Jaime was going to win Ned moved graciously and threw her brother from his mare. King Robert cheered and let out some expletives. Queen Catelyn smiled and grimaced at little. She smiled tightly. Ned was declared the champion of the tourney and was given the customary crown of flowers. It was a beautiful crown of wild red, yellow and white roses. He would no doubt give the crown to the queen for her name day. He approached their box. The queen smiled shyly. Cersei’s heart raced, “give the crown to her” she thought. He would know better, he should know better. Ned smiled at her and undid the crown. 

“Yellow roses for my queen.” Catelyn smiled when he kissed her hand.

“Red and white roses for my love.” Cersei couldn’t help but smile when he kissed her gently on the cheek, too close to her mouth but not at all improper. A loud cheer erupted. The ladies swooned when Ned rode off. 

“Your Ned is wonderful.” The queen said wistfully. Cersei smelled her roses. They smelled of summer. 

“He loves you. How does it feel?” Catelyn asked as they waddled back to the castle. Cersei squeezed her hand, “the king adores you.” She tried but didn’t expect the tears the queen shed.

Catelyn led them to a quaint clearing. “He does not. He tolerates the girls and me. I hope this one is a boy. He needs an heir then my duty will be done and he can stop coming to my chambers.”

“He hurts you.” Cersei said in a small voice. Catelyn didn’t nod nor disagreed. “He’s very strong and sometimes he forgets that.” 

“You have not answered Lady Stark.” Catelyn’s blue eyes looked at her with askance.

“He did not love me at first.” She said quietly, “Ned is honorable it is very easy to love him. He is quiet and sometimes stubborn but he’s gentle and he cares about me. He listens to me.”

Catelyn smiled, “Robert only visits my bedchambers. He whispers her name every time. I hate her so much. I never thought I would hate a dead woman so much.” She said bitterly.

“Lyanna changed all of our lives.” Cersei replied. Lyanna Stark was the reason why Robert and Ned rebelled.

The queen wiped her tears. “Robert will never love me and the little love I had for him is gone now. All I have is my girls and this little one. He is disgusting but he gave me my children and I love them. I would do anything for my girls.” There was a fierce glint in her eyes.

They went back to the castle. Cersei switched the subject once more for the queen’s benefit. They went to Catelyn’s quarters where the children played together. Jon and Robb were teaching Myrcella, Lyanna and Sansa how to play with swords. Alayne was asleep by her crib.

Jon and Myrcella seemed to be getting along quite well. “Baratheon and Stark together.” The queen said smiling. “She could be the new lady Stark. What do you think Cersei?”

She smiled, “It would be an honor for my Jon. Although we should wait a little at least until they both speak without a lisp.” Catelyn joined her in laughter.

That night she tended to her husband’s sores ad aches. “My champion.” She kissed the ugly red mark Jaime’s lance left by his ribs. He kissed her lips and sucked her lower lip. “You would have looked beautiful with all those flowers in your hair.” 

Cersei liked it when he kissed her lower lip and bit her. She watched his shaved face, he shaved yesterday she liked that clean smooth face of his. “Wait.” She wore a green nightshift. It was almost transparent.

She grabbed the flowers he’d given her earlier and put them in her hair. “I have flowers in my hair my lord.”

“My lioness of Winterfell.” He growled and kissed her breathlessly. He barked a laugh when she tried to squirm under him. She tried to overpower him but he was having none of it. “A lioness subdued by a wolf.” She teased and touched his sore spots. He grimaced. “Be fair lioness.” He kissed her languidly. She kissed him just as languidly. They caressed and kissed each other until Ned fell asleep with his hands on her teats. She sighed, it could be worse; she could be with that Robert oaf. She shuddered and kissed Ned’s chest.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey guys. Hope you like this chapter. Just a reminder that the story is up to chapter 71 on fan fiction.net. words of encouragement are appreciated

Chapter 14

Riverrun was bountiful and beautiful. All the lands were filled with animals and flowers. She was getting used to the weather; poor Ned didn’t like it. He hated the heat and the lack of snow. It was the fifth day of the celebrations when the Lannister host arrived to the Tully strongholds. Her father looked the same; he greeted them with a stiff nod. Aunt Genna however was all smiles and kisses. “Oh Cersei, you look beautiful. You look just like your mother when she was pregnant with you and Jaime.” 

Cersei smiled and hugged her. “I have to meet my nephews.” The fat woman said. She was glad to see her again. Her father didn’t care for the children at all. He went straight to converse with Hoster Tully. He didn’t spare a glance at her. It was as if Jon and Robb were invisible. She did not want to think about her father and was glad he did not look at her children. Cersei Stark was wary of Tywin Lannister; the man who ordered the murder of the infant prince; heir to the crown. She led aunt Genna to the children’s quarters.

“These are my boys; Jon and Robb.” The royal party was with the septas in the needlework rooms. 

“They’re all Stark.” Aunt Genna said as she kissed and hugged Jon and Robb. Jon made a face at being squeezed and pinched in the cheeks. Robb pinched and squeezed back as much as he could. “A feisty little wolf.” 

Cersei laughed when Robb howled and Jon followed him. “They pretend to be wolves sometimes. It is entirely Ned’s fault, he encourages them.” 

Aunt Genna laughed and grabbed her hands. She looked at her and asked, “Are you happy sweetling?” 

“I am. Ned loves me and gave me Jon and Robb.” Cersei said, she was content and not even Jaime’s absence affected her as much as she thought.

Aunt Genna told her all the gossip of Casterly Rock. She told him about Tyrion’s whoring ways and uncle Gerion’s voyage to old Valyria. No one had heard from him in about two years. She also told him about the increasing debt the crown owed Casterly Rock. “Your father wants a sit in the small council but Jon Arryn refuses to budge.” She did not care too much about southern politics. It did not benefit her in any way. Ned was of the North and wouldn’t travel south. Tyrion held the lands of Casterly Rock as his. Father would eventually die after all; all men must die. He would be the Lord of the Rock. Robb would hold Casterly Rock. Tyrion would have no other heirs, who would marry the Imp? Jon would be Lord of Winterfell and this one in her belly would surely marry one of the princesses and be in King’s Landing as a lord or even king regent. If Robert did not produce an heir the throne would go to Stannis. She remembered the droll fellow; his wife was still childless. The north was vast and the Starks held most of it as theirs. 

Their stay at Riverrun would come to an end in a couple of days. Ned grew restless in the south. She wanted to go to the Rock but Eddard refused to let her go. “No, you are heavy with child. I will be there when you birth this child Cersei.” He said firmly. They had been south for almost a month. It was two months and half since they left the North. He needed to return to their lands. Cersei pouted but understood his reticence. Ned only exchanged pleasantries with his father in law. He spoke only with Tyrion and invited him to Winterfell. Her dwarf brother surprisingly agreed. “I’ve always wanted to see the Wall.” She disliked the idea from the beginning but accepted when she saw the opportunity. Tyrion seemed to like her sons; he would bond with them and hold them in esteem. She hated Tyrion but he could be an asset. He could name Robb Lord of Casterly Rock as soon as father died.

Father didn’t spare a glance to the children. She was glad; Jon was at an age in which he understood the world. He asked why grandfather didn’t come to meet them yet. Cersei would have an excuse and was happy when she saw her father leave for the Reach two days after he arrived. Aunt Genna and her husband remained in the Tully castle. They would leave for the Twins in less than three days. Robert and Ned were hunting with most of his kingsguard but for Jaime and Trant who remained at the queen’s service. 

Cersei, aunt Genna and the queen were embroidering clothes for the babies when she felt the water trickle down her gown. She hadn’t felt any pain but suddenly the baby moved and the pain started. She clutched her belly. “My baby is coming.” She gasped as another pain wracked her body.

“Oh Gods. Cersei we have to get you to the bed.” Aunt Genna helped her up. Jaime helped her too since aunt Genna couldn’t lift her. 

She panicked when another pain hit her. “This is too soon. The baby is coming too soon.” She cried again, the pain was intense. She heard the queen order Ser Trant to fetch the maester and the midwives. “Ned, he has to here. I want Ned.” She yelled to anyone who could hear her. She couldn’t stand up so they tore her dress apart. Jaime was fixed behind her. “Get out of here boy. You shouldn’t be here, this is not a place for men.” 

“I’m staying, she’s my sister. I’ll help her.” Jaime said with a tone that she knew all too well. He was not moving. 

“Catelyn, please send for Ned.” She was scared; she wanted Eddard to be here. The baby wouldn’t live; it was too soon. She was just about eight months along.

The queen left the chambers quickly. She groaned again. It must have been more than fifteen minutes but Cersei thought that it was just a minute before the maester opened her legs and told her he could see the head of her baby.

She shook her head, "Ned has to be here. Catelyn, please find my Ned." The impulse to push was unbearable. Catelyn pressed a cold cloth to her forehead.

"I sent Edmure and his men after them. Do not worry Cersei." The Queen said gently.

She cried when the maester ordered a midwife to push down on her belly. "You must push or your babe will die." She cried but nodded. Ned had not been with her before; she had done this before. Jaime tried to sooth her but she shook her head. "Let me brother. You cannot help me here.”

Cersei grabbed onto the sheets and pushed with all her might. The old maester encouraged her until after three pushes she heard the cries of her newborn. "Thank the Gods." Jaime whispered. 

"You have another son lady Stark." Catelyn said with tears in her eyes. "Give him to me." She still felt the need to push. She was used to pushing the after birth but this was different, her belly still moved.

"Another babe my lady." The maester laughed. He instructed her again. Cersei smiled and pushed. She would give Ned two new sons. "A beautiful girl." Aunt Genna said as she gave her the baby girl.

Cersei cried a little when she saw their little faces. They were beautiful; they had little tufts of dark blond hair, much darker than her tresses but lighter than Ned's dark hair. Her son opened his eyes. He had Stark eyes, grey just like his brothers. She looked at her daughter and was surprised to see her green eyes reflected. She smiled, her babies looked like her. She kissed their foreheads. "They're beautiful sister." Jaime kissed her forehead and for a second Cersei wondered how it could have been if these were his. She smiled but was interrupted.

"We have to clean them my lady and you need to bathe before your husband arrives." A midwife said. "Ser Jaime, it would be best if you left the room. This is not a place for you." The queen led him out of her quarters. Cersei did not have time to protest soon she needed to be cleaned and the babies were to be cleaned too. They took the babies to the nursery too. 

Cersei rested in the clean bed sheets and asked the handmaiden to bring her babies. She was ready for them; she closed her eyes and heard the door open. Ned was breathless and ran to her. He had tears in his eyes. "I'm so sorry my love." He kissed her gently.

"I will not touch again Cersei, if that is what you desire but don't shut me away love. I could not bear it if you acted as when our first boy died." Ned said while he hugged her fiercely. She was about to ask him about his out of place behavior when it dawned on her. Her husband thought she had miscarried again. 

"Ned, we are fine." She pushed his sweaty hair back. He must have run all the way from the gates. She kissed him. "The babies are fine." It was Ned's turn to look confused. 

In came two handmaidens with her children. Ned's face lit up with joy. "You have a son and a daughter Ned."

He watched closely as the girls placed the babies in her arms. They helped her position them and in no time she was breastfeeding both of them. Ned watched as if in awe of her. She smiled and rejoiced in his look. He got the same smile when she presented him with Robb.

"Hold your son Ned." She gave him the grey-eyed child. He smiled, "he has my eyes and your nose." He kissed his forehead. "His name is Tommen." Cersei smiled. He listened to her, she had told him she wanted to have a son named Tommen when she was pregnant after Joffrey.

Tommen slept peacefully in his father's arms. Ned kissed her lips once more. "May I have that little lady?" He said and placed Tommen next to her. Her husband held the baby girl carefully and close to him. She had never seen so much happiness as when the baby opened her eyes. "She has your eyes my lioness." He chuckled. "Joanna Stark." Cersei sobbed. Ned placed Joanna next to Tommen in a safe place surrounded by pillows. She tried to move close to him. She wanted to hug him, kiss him, all of his face. She would kiss him all day if she could. “I called for you.” She thought he should know that. 

“I rode as hard and fast as I could my love.” He kissed her lips once more. She was tired and wanted to sleep. She remembered that these were not her quarters. She was in the queen’s bedchambers. “I want to sleep Ned.” 

She rested on his chest and fell to slumber. Cersei woke up to Robb’s excited giggles. “They small papa.” 

“Do not get too close they could get very sick. Only mother can touch them properly for now.” She heard her husband say quietly. She was on her side. Jon and Robb were in a little stool trying to peer over the little cribs. She watched the sun set in the window. She was back in the quarters assigned to her. 

“Ned.” She rasped. Her husband turned and put the children down. Their lord father had coached them because they gingerly made their way into the bed. Jon kissed her forehead. “Uncle Jaime said you were very brave.” She smiled and hugged him. Little gestures as this dispelled all doubts and unkind thoughts she had regarding this boy who became hers. She kissed Robb who tried to go with Ned. “I want see.” Her second oldest said. 

“They are tired sweetling.” Cersei kissed his forehead. Ned cradled Joanna to him. She smiled Tommen was fast asleep. The queen smiled by the door. “My queen.” Cersei dutifully greeted.

“Your children are beautiful lady Stark.” She was the first of many visitors. Cersei laughed joyously when aunt Genna kissed her and congratulated her. “Your mother would be proud child.”

Lady Stark did not cry but at times like this she wished she knew more about Lady Joanna Lannister. She took the compliment and received more guests. Jaime and Tyrion made their way inside her chambers. The frequent visitors annoyed Ned. Cersei could not blame him. In Winterfell, when Robb was born the only visitors they received were his bannermen and they were not interested in her or her newborn.

Ned had not relinquished his hold on Joanna. He was besotted. Jaime held Tommen. "He has a strong grip sister." He smiled at the newborn that might have been his until he opened his dark grey eyes.

Tyrion was uncomfortable. Cersei was uncomfortable too. She didn't know why her dwarf brother bothered to be in her rooms. There wasn't any love lost between them. Cersei used to wish and think of horrific ways in which he would die. In past years she had forgotten about him. After all she was not at Casterly Rock to make sure he was appropriately punished for killing her mother. If mother were alive her life would have been very different. Five years ago she would have taken any opportunity to insult, diminish and ridicule her brother but looking at him tonight she thought about the dead dwarf girl she birthed. She bled more than a month after the baby died. 

She was very quiet when Tyrion held Tommen and declared him a handsome baby, "Lord Stark, may I meet my niece." Tyrion stretched his arms to his brother in law.

Ned was reluctant but handed their daughter to Tyrion, "She's beautiful, sister you did well. Let me guess her name, Lyanna after your sister my lord?"

"Joanna, her name is Joanna after our lady mother baby brother." She mentioned and for the first time Tyrion did not flinch when she mentioned their late mother.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!!! Another chapter. Hope you enjoy!!!

They were to leave the riverlands as soon as Cersei and the babies were able to withstand the journey up north. It took them three weeks to make the journey. The queen decided she would stay in her ancestral home. She gave birth to another girl. The last one if the maester was to be believed. Sometimes they weren't as accurate as they ought to be. She was not supposed to have children and yet she birthed three healthy children. 

Queen Catelyn seemed resigned to her fate; she named the girl Cassana after the king's late mother. This child as the previous one had the queen’s coloring, hair and eyes. The queen had only confided in her and her maester. No one else knew about her failures or supposed barred state. Cersei was sure the next few years would prove interesting in the capital. She was too busy with her twin babies to pay much attention to southern ambitions. She had Winterfell to worry about. This little trip south had been extended too much.

Ned twitched at the mention of his home. The king invited them to King's Landing but her husband declined. The Starks headed back to their ancestral home an early morning after the king and his men left the river lands. The journey back was just as long and cumbersome. Cersei decided that she would not have more children. She loved all her children dearly, but she couldn’t think about having another child after she had these ones to contend with. Jon was more independent now and tried to be with his father as much as possible. Ned returned with him in the early evening praising him for his tries at archery and riding. Cersei frowned, “he shouldn’t ride, not yet.”

“He rides with me lioness.” Ned would assure her and kiss her cheek. 

Robb and the babies needed her full attention. Her second oldest spent most of his time with her except for when Tyrion deigned them with his presence; he took an affinity to Robb. She did not discourage her brother. Tyrion was the heir to the Westerlands whether father wanted it or not. By laws older than their own empire Tyrion was to inherit it all. Robb was Tyrion’s heir; it would do well if they got along. Jaime was under oath for life and no matter what father did he wouldn’t break it. Her twin unlike her and Tyrion did not thirst for power. He was a warrior; he liked fighting but did not have the mind or the willingness for politics. He was to be in the fields, just like Robert was. Her baby brother and her had a mind for manipulation and politics just like father did. Cersei did not want to have any relationship with Tyrion. She still remembered the prophecy; her valonqar would be her demise. Cersei held onto that little part, she thanked the gods because she had four children all with dark hair. Her twins had dark blond hair almost light brown. None of them had golden hair, which meant no golden shrouds, and she was not queen. Sometimes Cersei wondered if prophecies were left to interpretation. Melara had died that same night, which fulfilled her prophecy. 

The babies drained all of her energy and she longed for the walls of Winterfell. In the castle she would be able to have help from the servants and old Nan who would keep Jon and Robb entertained for more than a few hours. She would not have to suffer through Tyrion’s comments or even see him if she did not want to. For now, she had to be content with Tyrion and Robb playing by the fires. They would play dragons and knights. Robb was knight and Tyrion the dragon. Cersei ordered her brother to play outside but when the temperatures dropped she had no other choice but to stay with them in her tent. The twins were not much trouble and slept for more hours than Robb or Jon had for that matter. They were two however and when one wanted the teat the other wanted to sleep or needed to be changed. Myra proved to be as useless as always. Cersei dismissed her as soon as they were by the Neck. Myra had cried but lady Stark was determined, she could not withstand her ineptitude any longer and she didn’t like the way she flushed or happened to be near when Ned visited her. She had seen how the servant eyed her lord husband. Ned smiled at her once and the foolish girl blushed and smiled back. Cersei decided Myra would do well in Greywater Watch. 

She had her handmaidens but it would take weeks to train them to her liking so she was in charge of the babies. Ned loved his children and spent time with all of them but he could absolutely not be trusted to keep a baby clean, or happy. He liked to hold his new children when they were asleep or about to sleep.

“I cannot wait to be in Winterfell.” She sighed against his chest. They were a week away from the castle. Ned tried to slip a hand under her shift. “Not until we are in our home and I have moon tea.”

Ned slumped back in the bed. “No more children then.” He stated. 

“No more.” She replied, “You have an heir, two spares and a daughter to marry off. That is more than enough.”

“Do not speak of our children in that matter Cersei.” He said seriously and with a calm voice.

“I am stating facts my lord.” She cheekily bit his neck. “I do like the process of making little heir and heiresses.” Ned growled and pinned her under him. “I doubt you would get with child tonight.” He forced a leg between hers and rubbed it against her core, as she liked it.

“How would you know lord Stark?” She batted her eyelashes and pouted. Ned liked it when she acted ladylike.

“I know.” He responded and kissed her savagely. They had not done more than kiss or touch each other when the fire in his eyes burned high. She took pity on him more than once and licked his member to bring him relief. Ned wouldn’t be appeased by some licks and kisses tonight. He wanted to be inside of her and told her so. The twins were five months today. This was the longest they had not been together since he was gone to the Iron Islands. After almost six years of marriage Ned was not shy or introverted in their bed anymore. He demanded and gave equally. She shivered when she heard of all the things he wanted to do to her body. Cersei ought to have said no, Ned would have listened to her but she gave in when he licked his lips and yanked her nightgown in a swift move of his own. She moaned when his kisses made their way to her core. He parted flesh and licked her so deliciously slow that she urged him to used his fingers. She was glad Robb and Jon were with a handmaid in another tent and the babies were so asleep they did not wake when she yelped.

“My lioness.” He licked her breasts and sucked. She would not have expected Eddard Stark to like to suckle milk out of her teats or enjoy when she was on all fours under him. She was delighted when he placed her on all fours and knocked her arms to the feather bed. Ned took her slowly, adjusting her to his size and then pounded her, she moaned and bit her lips to not cry out. Ned grabbed her hips and pushed her to him. She climaxed and asked him to pull out. “Pull out, you’re close I know it, pull out.” She moaned but Ned was too far-gone to care. He spilled inside of her. Cersei was too tired to berate him. 

Two months later she yanked Ned’s hair in front of Greatjon Umber. She was enraged. “I’m pregnant you fool.” Cersei noticed Umber only when he let a big laugh. She ran away crying and did not speak to Ned for a day. He asked for forgiveness but he was not sorry. She knew that when he rubbed her belly and kissed her neck. It was hard to be wroth with him when he kissed her and give her more and more power in Winterfell.

“You love power.” He told her when she was in her fifth month and they said goodbye to Tyrion. Robb and Jon were by the gates saying goodbye. The twins said their goodbyes earlier before their naps. 

“In other circumstances you and I could have been enemies my lioness.” He kissed her hand. “Never.” She replied trying to sound as offended as possible. 

Robb cried when he saw his uncle leave. Jon sulked for a day and half until Tyrion promised them both to write every week and send dragon toys and new ponies for their name days. 

They were with Farlen, the kennel master. Ned let them go to the kennels and see the new puppies. Cersei agreed because after all they would be sad to not see Tyrion anymore. Her brother was not likely to come back for some time. Their relationship had not improved in the least. They stayed away from each other as much as humanly possible. Ned served as intermediary most of the time. He was weary and did not like his role. Tyrion loved her children but detested her. Cersei detested him but coveted his titles. 

Ned looked at her with a smirk and a knowing look. “Your brother thinks you want him to name Robb his heir. He says you are not as clever as you think. He loves all four of our children.”

Cersei rolled her eyes, “He is a bitter little man. He does not have an heir. It is only natural that he name one of his nephews to Casterly Rock.” Ned shook his head. “Tyrion will marry and his children will inherit the Rock.” 

She laughed, “My brother does not want to marry. Our father will roll in his grave when he names Robb heir of the Westerlands. A wolfling will be Warden of the West.” She laughed. 

Ned smiled, “You and Tyrion have more in common than you both care to admit. He said the same thing.” Cersei looked confused, “Tywin Lannister’s prosperous lands will be Stark’s. His legacy dead,” your brother plans to stop the Lannister name with him.” Cersei laughed delightedly. Her husband frowned. She wiped his frown with a kiss. She placed his hands on her belly. He could never stay angry with her when he touched her pregnant belly.

“Do you know why I accepted your hand?” He asked with his forehead against hers. His recriminations were forgotten because he pushed her blond hair away from her face gently.

Cersei shook her head, “I suppose because I was the most acceptable option or because I was the only option.” She said simply. 

“You were not the only option. The Tyrells and Tullys offered me brides, so did the Redwynes, Florents and even Mormonts.” Ned said quietly, stating facts. He was not a man to be presumptuous or conceited.

“All lesser houses, perhaps not the Tullys and the Tyrells but the rest of them are minor houses.” She said dismissively.

“I chose you because I knew you were a threat.” Cersei looked puzzled. 

“Your father wanted to marry you to Robert. I convinced Robert to marry Catelyn instead.” He kissed her cheek. 

Cersei fisted his tunic. “You will have Lannisters crawling up your arse Robert. Remember what happened to the last king who trusted her lot. Lannisters are not to be trusted.” He said and kissed her mouth roughly. He left her there with a stunned expression in her face.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

After her husband’s revelation she was more aware of him and his intelligence. Cersei Stark looked for hints of deceit or ulterior motives but there was nothing. She had been shocked and tried to pursue the topic but Ned had a peculiar way of avoiding it or completely changing the subject to the point she had not been aware he did not answer her questions. Arya Stark was born in the middle of the night. She came into the world yelling and kicking. Cersei was glad she was a girl. She was all Ned and had the strongest lungs out of all her children. That was the first time Ned was present at the birth of one of his children. “She is beautiful. Arya, her name is Arya.” Cersei proclaimed. The babe had dark hair, as dark as Jon’s and grey Stark eyes. She loved all her children in an especial and unique way but from the moment she laid eyes on Arya she knew Arya would be unlike any of her children. She was energetic and demanded her full attention from her first feeding. The newest Stark scion screamed louder than Robb or Jon. Joanna and Tommen were placid children with a sweet demeanor. Ned kissed her deeply and thanked her quietly as they hugged. 

The Stark household was prosperous and Winterfell was back to its old glory. Under Cersei’s care and rules the incomes increased. Ned was the lord of Winterfell, he talked to the people but it was Cersei who counseled him and advised him when it came to financial matters and politics. Ned valued her and heeded her wishes. Lady Stark found a balance between taking care of her progeny and managing the Winterfell grounds and affairs. 

She spent mornings in her solar managing household items. Three or four hours with Ned in the early afternoons advising him on matters of the castle and the nearest town, there was only one matter that she was not involved in; the Wall. Ned sent men for the Night’s Watch twice a year. He refused to budge in the matter even after she made compelling arguments against sending trained men to defend a Wall against wildlings who were clearly weak and scattered. Her husband was adamant that the number of men would not decrease nor the frequency in which he sent men to join the Night’s Watch. 

The afternoons were for her children. Ned would go hunt, train or travel with his bannermen. Jon and Robb learned their lessons with maester Luwin in the morning by mid afternoon Cersei had lunch with all of her children. Joanna, Tommen and Arya still were too little to have lessons. The twins were happy three year olds and Arya was a fiercely independent girl. They played together all day. Joanna and Arya babbled to each other while Tommen quietly played with soldiers and tried to emulate Robb and Jon. Ned would join them and they would play or talk until supper. Her older children went to practice with their father three days per week. Ned remarked how proficient they were. The smaller children would color with her or play with her hair. Arya and Tommen liked horses. Joanna shied away from them. She resembled her more but Cersei saw herself in Arya who was always walking away from her or tipping things over with her chubby baby hands. Her nights were Ned’s, that was their time, no children just them. 

She received letters from father, Jaime and on occasion Tyrion who liked to know more about his nephews and nieces. She was reading a parchment one afternoon after Ned had cancelled his lessons with a seven-year-old Jon. Joanna, Tommen and Robb were off somewhere playing horses or some game alike. Arya, her baby, well not really a babe since she was two going three already, was toddling away from her nursemaid to meet her. 

Jon was reading a book Tyrion sent him. He looked up and smiled. “Mamma, mamma.” Arya yelled and was picked up by Cersei who kissed her cheeks and forehead. 

“Father went away to the Dreadfort.” Jon pouted and sat next to her and his little sister. Jon hated the Dreadfort, it was probably why Ned did not take him. “Robb is with the twins and maester Luwin in the forest. I asked Farlen to take me to see the new foals but he would not take me.” Cersei heard the sulk behind her son’s tone. Jon and Ned were alike in that sense, they sulked and could they sulk. 

“Your father of course wanted you to go with him.” Jon nodded and pouted. “I do not like it there.”

Cersei remained impassive. “Well, that is your concern son.” She put a squirming Arya down. The little girl ran around the room and tried to climb over the draperies. 

Jon smiled. He liked his sisters; he was good with them, maybe because he was older. Robb treated them as boys and was rough while Tommen just wanted to be like his big brothers. Joanna was sweet and docile, playing with everyone especially Arya. Her youngest loved to play with Joanna. 

“Play with us.” She asked and beckoned him to her.

“No.” Jon remained by the fireplace.

“Suit yourself.” She said dismissively and chased Arya around the room until the baby was breathless and she was laughing at Arya’s red cheeks. Jon did not join them. He was stubborn as much as Ned, Robb and even Tommen on occasion. 

She tucked all her children good night. Joanna was the hardest. “I want to see my Papa.” Ned had his daughters spoiled, especially Joanna. Arya was too young to care if they said goodnight or not but at four years old Joanna knew that she had not seen her father all day.

“Father is not home yet. He had to go away to visit some friends.” Cersei kissed her forehead.

“I want to see him.” Joanna replied ignoring her completely and rising from the bed. 

Cersei watched as her child went to her windowsill and sat down. “Joanna, come to bed at once. You need your sleep.”

“No. I will wait for Papa. I can see him when he comes.”

Cersei picked her and placed her back in bed. “Your father would not want you waiting for him. Father will expect you to sleep and listen to your mother. You would not want to anger father would you?”

Joanna shook her head, “Papa loves me. He will never get angry with me. I am his kitten.” 

She laughed at her little frown. “Yes, and I am a lioness and I say you go to sleep and if I see you in the windowsill. I will let Farlen take away your puppy.”

Joanna pouted. “Papa will not let you.”

Cersei humored her and discussed with her until Joanna was asleep.

She checked on Robb who was sprawled on his bed. Tommen was mumbling but sleeping. Jon and Arya were asleep, she smiled, and they were deep sleepers.

She went to her quarters and read her letters again. King Robert had another bastard, this one in the Stormlands. Stannis Baratheon and his wife had lost another child. Lysa Arryn gave birth to a boy but died within three days. The queen was still in the Riverlands. She bathed and waited for Ned to come home. She waited until her eyes closed by their own accord. 

The lady of Winterfell woke up to Old Nan shaking her awake. “You must wake up child.” She saw the worried look the old woman wore. 

“What is it?” She asked, dreading the answer before she heard it.

“Ned was hurt by wildlings.”


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Cersei moved into action quickly. She stirred away from the bed and hurried to one of the chambers in the ground floor. Old Nan had said the maester did not dare move her husband. Ned screamed in pain as one of the handmaidens put what appeared to be a cold cloth in his forehead. Maester Luwin stripped her husband and tended to a nasty wound in Ned’s upper thigh. 

Ned yelled and trashed when maester Luwin dabbed a substance in the wound. Cersei came into the room. “What can I do?” She asked with a firm voice. 

“Hold his head, try to sooth him and make sure he does not move.” The older man said. She nodded, the handmaiden moved to make room for her. She dabbed the cloths and spoke softly when Ned trashed again, he had his eyes closed. “Ned. You can’t move now.” He opened his eyes, his forehead was feverish and he was sweating profusely. 

“Cersei?” He rasped and tried to turn his face to look at her.

“No, don’t.” She said and moved strands of his hair and took more cloths to his forehead and chest. 

He was calmer but still trashed. Maester Luwin worked dutifully and bandaged his wound. It looked like an arrowhead was inside of his flesh. She did not have much experience with wounds; it could have been anything.

“My lord, you should take milk of the poppy. It will alleviate your pain.” The man said.

“No.” Ned said tiredly. “Water, I need water. Cersei make sure he does not put anything in the water.”

She nodded and gave him the water herself. “What happened?” She asked when Ned was done drinking.

“Wildlings, they ambushed me on my way back. They took my horse but I managed to run away before they killed me with my own sword. They left a green boy to kill me and I killed him first. I took Ice and walked back.

“That explains all the stress in your leg my lord.” Luwin said and dressed some cuts in his arms, abrasions on his hands and the cut by his left cheek. 

“You are very lucky, the arrows did not penetrate any veins. You would have bled to death. You need to rest my lord.” Cersei wanted to roll her eyes. It was self evident that Ned would not be on his feet quickly.

Her husband tried to stand up. “I want to go to my quarters.” He gritted his teeth pushed up. Cersei pushed him down and he growled. “Gods.” He gasped and trembled.

“Take the milk.” She kissed his forehead, just above his eyebrow. “No.” Cersei nodded. “Very well but you will not be going anywhere with that leg in that way. We’ll stay here tonight.” She wiped his body with clean water and ordered the servants to leave. 

“He will likely have pain tonight and the next few days. He’ll be delirious and have pain for the rest of the night.” She kissed his brow once more. “Leave the milk here. I’ll give it to him.”

“No milk. Cersei, take it away. Promise me my love, no milk.” He said tiredly and grabbed her hand.

“Fine, take it away but do not go to far. He could need you.” Cersei commanded. She held him through the rest of the night. He had a light fever but was coherent. He could not sleep. She held him, kissed his face and caressed his chest.

“A woman, a big woman gave me that bruise on my stomach. She swung at me first. The wildlings tried to kill me. I was sure the boy would, he could not have been older than two and ten. He had Ice; all I thought was that Jon would never swing it and the children. All I could think was that I would not see Robb start his archery practices. Tommen, I would never have any time with my boy and my girls... My beautiful Joanna and Arya. Then I thought of you Cersei. My last thought was of you." Ned kept talking while she tried to keep him calm and quiet.

"I love you Cersei Stark. I have loved you since I saw you feeding my son. I never thought I could ever love you." She tried to minimize the effects his words had on her. "Ned, please be quiet. You need to close your eyes and sleep." He would not listen. 

“I married you because you were a threat. I wanted you and your kind away from the King. I thought I was condemning myself to a life of bitterness with you.” Cersei had not been thrilled to marry him either. 

He was rambling, “Please Ned, you have to rest.”

“Cersei, I’m glad I married you.” He rasped and then looked at her with big grey wolf eyes. "Lay down with me. I want to see your face." Cersei did so, afraid that he would try to move her himself. Luwin had been specific; her lord husband was to be resting and sleeping the worst of his ordeal since he did not wish to take any milk of the poppy for his pain. It did not do well for him to become agitated.

Soon she was on her side, his eyes were pained but he was very lucid. "When I killed that boy I thought of you. When I walked through the forests I thought of you and your eyes. They are the greenest eyes I have ever seen. When Harwin found me I was glad because I was coming home to you." He hissed in pain when he tried to face her completely. He was prostrated while she found a position in which he could see her face without moving him too much.

Finally she was able to see his face completely. "Cersei, you have been a blessing. I never thought I would ever come to care for you. I desired you, from the moment I laid eyes on you but I was sure I could never love you." Cersei was not surprised, she knew her husband desired her, she desired him too. That had never been an issue. They were very compatible in the bedchamber. She was taken aback by how much he was telling her. Eddard had always been reserved, to the point of being standoffish. As time passed her spoke more and they built a friendship but her husband was not one to openly speak about his feelings or thoughts about the love in their marriage. He was a man of few words, and fewer words when it came to his inner thoughts. He had his Old Gods. He prayed and visited those weirwoods so strange to her. She was not one to pray much; she knew about promises and debts. 

“Not even in battles had I been so certain my end was near. I understood that I could not let the boy kill me because I never heard those three words out of your mouth.” Cersei stiffened. She cared for her husband; he was a good, honest and honorable man. She enjoyed her life with him, his respect, his trust, his bed but she did not love him. She loved her children and Jaime, although it was harder to hold onto a love that was not fostered. Jaime did not write to her, and when he did it was mindless, gone were his declarations of love and she had never dared to propose anything because if she was anything it was a Lannister and Lannisters paid their debts. 

“Go to sleep Ned.” She assured him and caressed his forehead. He was not appeased; “I knew you loved another man when you came into my bed. You were not a maiden.” He stated a little sadness crept in his voice. “It never bothered me Cersei but it does now. I am fighting with a ghost, a man I cannot live up to. You do not love me my lioness.” Cersei’s heart was racing. Could he know about her love for Jaime? He could not have known. Jaime and her had been careful to hide their love. They were close but it had all been excused by the mere fact that they were twins, two parts of a whole. No, if Ned knew that the man who took her maidenhead had been her brother he would have returned her or have her render explanations to him and the throne. 

“Do not be afraid Cersei. I do not wish to know this man’s name. All I whish to know is if you are truly happy here.” He whispered close to her face. She looked at his face, he was sweating and his eyes looked tired. It would be soon; he would give in to sleep. She nodded. “You and the children make me happy.” He nodded and closed his eyes. The lady of Winterfell attended him the whole night. Once he was deeply sleeping she washed his body and with the help of Hodor; Old Nan’s grandson or great grandson disrobed him. 

She closed her eyes and thought about her life. She was not queen, but she managed a large castle and the North. She ruled alongside with Ned who was kind, generous and most importantly did not underestimate her. She did not lie tonight, she was happy. Her children were smart, handsome and healthy. Ned provided her with strength and resources. She lacked for nothing. Cersei Stark was content. 

Ned stayed in bed for a week. He could not stay long enough in bed. Cersei admonished him and tried for her husband to remain seated or off his feet. “Ned, be careful.” She rushed when Robb tried to tackle his father to the bed. “Papa.” He yelled and tried to wrestle with him. Ned had not seen his children during that week. Maester Luwin declared it unwise, since he was convalescing from his ordeal. “They will not like to see you in this bed my lord.” The maester pleaded with his best convincing voice. The idea of his children watching him while vulnerable deterred Ned for a few days but by the third day he was persistent. 

He could sit up and walked a little. Ned spoke to her about moving back to their bedchambers. “Not yet, it has not been a week even.” Cersei could tell what his true intentions. Ned wanted to lay with her again. She missed the intimacy it was certain, his sickroom was humble, one of the rooms for the servants. It was uncomfortable and lacked privacy. Cersei did not think her husband was in any condition to try anything but he held her tight at night, as if she would disappear. Ever since his confession, her husband looked at her differently. She knew he loved her, he told her so when they were in private while he was inside her. It was different now; he looked at her with love every time their eyes met. He was not reserved; he seemed to enjoy looking at her in that intimate way reserved for the occasional time in bed. 

“Where were you papa?” Joanna asked and hugged him tenderly. Cersei had explained and told them that papa was sick and needed to be taken care of. Jon understood everything. She did not lie to him, Jon knew about wildlings and the Night’s Watch. Robb knew that father was in accident but she did not burden him with any other knowledge. Jon was solemn and carried Arya on his arms. Tommen, Robb and Joanna were in bed with their lord father. Cersei looked at them with a wistful smile. She never had that. Jaime, Tyrion and her never shared those moments with Lord Tywin Lannister. 

“Come here lad.” Ned said as he tickled Tommen. Robb chattered incessantly while Joanna tried to climb into his lap. 

Jon looked at Cersei. She grabbed Arya who babbled and tried too reach over to her father. The heir to Winterfell timidly climbed on the small feather bed. He was not as exuberant as Robb and was the eldest. He could not be the baby boy like Tommen. He was to be strong and that was how Ned and her were educating him. Cersei took pride in her children. The dark haired child hugged his father and sat down next to Robb who told Ned all about the new horses in the stables. “Nuncle Tyrion sent me my mare Snowflake. Father, you have to let me ride her.” The boy did not lisp anymore and wanted to be grown up. Jon rode his own horse now; he had been since his seventh name day. 

She was going to protest but Ned handled this situation with his usual aplomb. More than once her husband had expressed his disagreement when it came to her overprotectiveness of the children. Cersei had railed and argued for two weeks about Jon riding a horse. Lord Stark was one to listen to his wife and tried to reason with her but he was implacable when it came to the children stepping up to their chores. “Do not interfere my lady. Jon will ride a horse and that is final.” She cut her reminisces short when he heard the conversation her second oldest had with his father.

“It is not fair; Jon rides Storm all he wants.” Robb pouted, he was six and wanted to be seven like Jon.

“Your brother is older and he never rides alone. You will wait just like Jon did, just like Tommen, Joanna and Arya will wait.” 

The boy sported a sour face but did not climb down the bed. “Papa, I asked you a question.” Joanna pulled on his tunic. 

“I apologize kitten.” He kissed her forehead. 

“I was sick but now I am better.” He replied with a reassuring smile. 

Arya wanted to go to her father. Cersei gave him the baby. “Sweetling.” He smiled when Arya babbled and hugged his neck tightly. 

The children had their turns to speak about all the happenings of the week. Invariably Robb and Joanna spoke the most. Maester Luwin entered the room and asked her to accompany him to see some affairs concerning some common folk and an abandoned building that belonged to them. She excused herself and followed the maester to the common hall. Cersei attended to the matter of the common folk residing in the building. They would pay with some of their harvest and have the option to reside there as long as they provided some of their crops to Eastwatch and the Night’s Watch.

She settled other matters for the rest of the afternoon. She went to Ned’s sickroom and found something that filled her heart with joy and longing. There in the small bed were all her children with their father. The bed could hold two adults but the Starks were all asleep in that bed. 

Ned was in the middle. Joanna and Tommen were by his right, fast asleep. Robb was on the left sprawled and drooling on his father’s arm. Jon was by the bottom of the bed, asleep too, a serene smile on his face. The sight that brought a radiant smile to her face was Arya and Ned. Their baby girl was on her father’s chest. She rested her face on his neck while her long tangled hair was by his mouth. She heard Ned breath deeply and groan. She came close to the bed and tried to lift Arya. “No, don’t, leave her here, grab Robb and put him next to Jon. “What of your injury?” Jon rested his head on his father’s good leg. If she put Robb by his brother he would of course move and cause some damage to his leg. 

“It is healed. Place him by Jon then you can lie with us.” Ned said with a voice rough with sleep.

She was tired and it was getting darker. The lady of Winterfell moved her son who murmured but went right back to sleep. He stretched and placed his head on Jon’s stomach. Cersei stepped out of her cumbersome dress and slipped next to her husband. He brought her close with his free arm and kissed her forehead. “I’m moving back to our bed tomorrow. This one is too small for all of us.”


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

It was not light yet. She stretched lazily against her husband who was fast asleep beside her. He hugged her to him; last night had been extremely satisfying for her. Eddard teased her and did not let her get away from their bed, not even when the maester asked him to go and attend to some affairs from Bear Island. She touched the marks she did last night; she had been fierce. Cersei recalled raking her fingernails over his back last night, she remembered sucking and biting at his neck possessed with desire. They had reason to; her lord husband had been given permission to bed her once again. His injuries were healed. Ned grabbed her from her needlepoint rooms. She was discussing something with one of the septas her aunt Genna had sent for the education of the girls when lord Stark entered the room. He bowed to the women in the room. Joanna and Arya were with her, they were playing by Septa Mordane, a dour woman who looked as if she had never been bedded. “My lady, I have an important matter I wish you to attend to.” Cersei was puzzled and bewildered when he grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the room. They climbed the stairs to their rooms. “I thought you wanted me to attend to an important matter?” She said with an inquisitive voice. He tightened his hold on her hand and tugged her to their bedchamber. 

“I want you to attend to me.” He said possessively and kissed her punishingly. 

“Your leg?” She asked out of necessity rather than concern. She wanted him too. Luwin insisted on no riding, physical activities or any other activity that would exhaust him or make him reopen his sown wounds. Three weeks and three days, that was how long they had been without each other. She let him push her to the bed and tugged her hair free. She took him out of his breeches and enjoyed his length against her hand. “Do you want to fuck me?” She asked coyly.

He growled. “You are very crass my lady.” He tugged at her dress. He was frustrated and tried to yank it out of her. “Let me.” He rolled to his side and stayed in bed as she stood up and removed the layers of clothes that covered her body. His eyes darkened and she grew wet because of his lusty stare. 

She teased and dropped every bit of cloth with a wicked smile. The only fabric that covered her small clothes. He licked his lips and pulled her to his lap. She ground her hips over his erection and moaned when he undid the laces at the back of her shift. He threw the piece of cloth by the doors and manhandled her breasts. She threw her head back. “Lick them now.” She did not let him touch her while he was convalescing because she knew him and once Ned Stark was inflamed it was impossible to extinguish his fire. Once again Eddard proved her mistaken, for a brief second she thought back to eight years ago when she believed her husband to be cold and detached. 

“What if I don’t?” He said as he touched her nipples gently. She kissed his neck. “I’ll make you a bargain my lord. You lick my teats and I will let you do with my body as you please.

She whined as she removed his tunic and breeches. “I do with your body as I please. It is mine own to do as I please.” He said arrogantly. 

Lady Stark smirked and deftly moved to her side. Ned watched as she touched his member. “Is your body mine my lord?” She did not appreciate his possessiveness. 

“You have my whole body, my soul my lioness. I am yours.” He said with those grey eyes that once held nothing but contempt for her and now looked at her as if she was a goddess. To this day she had never refused him, and never would if he looked at her with such desire, lust and love. Once that look frightened her, and now she rebelled in it. 

She kissed his lips and nuzzled his cheek. “My lord husband should learn that lions always win over wolves.” She straddled him and put him inside of her. She let out a strangled moan and rocked her hips rapidly over him. She had him pinned under her. No doubt Eddard could overpower her. He had done so in many occasions. She rode him hard and played with his nipples. Her lord husband had no wish to move from under her. 

“Fuck Cersei, my love.” He trashed and she moved faster. “You feel so good inside Ned. I don’t want you come yet. Hold on. Don’t come.” She was feeling the tell tale signs of his impeding orgasm. He dug his fingers on her hips and his thrusts lost their tempo. Her own orgasm was building deliciously. He touched her little button; with a few skilled touches she came undone. She slumped over his chest and tried to catch her breath. He rolled them and pumped steadily into her, she felt the momentum build again. He kissed her, “Give me another child. I want to see your belly swell again. I want to feel one of our babies move inside of you.” She trashed under him. His words did not surprise her at all. She kissed him more and more and felt her walls tighten around him. Their orgasms came at the same time. 

Cersei traced her fingers over his nose and eyelids. He had her twice again. They were wild the second time. She did not want more children. Arya was their last child. Ned wanted another baby. He told her so again when he licked her cunt until she pleaded for him to lick her button. He pushed her to a wall and rammed into her trying to convince her. She remained unmovable. “No more children.” She yelled when he tweaked a teat.

She kissed his jaw and moved her leg over his hips. He kissed and rolled over her. “About that child that you are going to give me? “He kissed the valley of her breasts and lowered his hands to her arse. She frowned. “No more babies. Arya is a baby.”

“Arya’s third name day is in three weeks. I hardly doubt she is a babe.” Eddard said winningly.

“We make beautiful babies.” He rasped. “You definitely enjoy making them.” He pinched her arse and she smirked. 

“You enjoy the process too much.” She teased. “We have enough children. Jon will inherit Winterfell. Robb will be the lord of Casterly Rock. Tommen could make a name for himself in the Kingsguard or marry one of the princesses. He could marry Sansa Arryn and be the Lord Protector of the Vale. Joanna will of course marry a Martell in Dorne or a Tyrell from the Reach. Arya could marry a prince if the crown ever has a prince. She could be queen.”

Ned frowned. “I will not allow my Kitten or my Wolfling to go so far south. Starks belong in the North.” He stated. “Our girls are too young for you to be thinking about marriages and power alliances.”

“It is never too early. I’ll have you know that the queen wants princess Myrcella to marry our Jon.” Ned frowned. “The princess would never fit in Winterfell.”

“I thought so too.” She tugged at his hair. “So you see my own husband how another child could complicate our arrangements.”

She kissed his frown and he smiled. Ned kissed her neck. “Those are your arrangements not ours.” He kissed her and murmured against her lips. “I can see the future and we are going to have another child.” He said with a wicked gleam in his eyes. Cersei laughed when he bit her belly button. 

Brandon Stark arrived two years and two weeks after Cersei’s decision to not have more children. She did not appreciate her husband’s smug smirk but she could not keep away from him. Cersei enjoyed fucking but while pregnant with this child it was intense. She wanted her husband all the time; at all positions and mourned the times he needed to travel away from Winterfell. 

“Brandon.” Cersei said when maester Luwin showed her the babe. Ned sat by her side and cradled their latest son. “This is our last.” She said against the fluffy pillows. “He is perfect my love.” She smiled and received his kisses gratefully. Bran was her sixth child and also her bargain chip. Cersei complied and gave Ned another child in exchange for something. She managed to make him agree to instruct Arya and Joanna in the arts of fighting. She kissed her son lovingly, Bran had given his sisters so much and he did not even know it yet. 

Arya and Joanna would not be like her, they would have options. They would learn to fight and defend themselves. Bran, her baby boy gave his sister that gift. 

She was in love with her husband, it did not happen at once. It built through years of patience on his part. Cersei realized she loved him one morning when Bran was four years old. Jon, Robb and Tommen went with their father to an execution. A deserter from the Night’s Watch; the children had come back with grim faces. She soothed them and then went to her chambers to chastise her husband. He was not there, she asked after him and found him in the Godswoods. He should have not let the children go with him. Jon hugged her tightly when she put him to sleep. Robb asked all these questions about death and bad men and Tommen, her poor baby who was not even eight years old, too young. Eddard prohibited Joanna and Arya to attend she did not fight it because if it were her choice none of her children would ever see an execution. 

He was praying to his Gods but he was crying. His shoulders shook with sobs. She had not heard him cry like this, not even when Joffrey died. Could her husband be this broken about taking a life? It could not possibly be. Eddard had killed, he felt remorse but this was not the first sentencing he served. There had to be something else. “Ned?” Suddenly she wanted to go back to Winterfell with her children.

Her husband stood up and wiped his wayward tears. Cersei could not bear to see him so broken. She ran to him and hugged her because whenever she hugged her children they seemed to get better. Ned held her tight and sobbed into her hair. 

“What is it my love?” It was the first time she used the epithet. She did not think about it much. He did not look at her face. “It has been four and ten years since I lost my family to Rhaegar Targaryen. Benjen wanted to go. She was four and ten when she went to that tourney. I was her favorite. Everyone says how much Arya resembles her but Lyanna was not as strong as our daughter. She was foolish and I should have protected her. I should have known. A foolish girl who was in love with a dragon.” She never heard him speak about his family with such sadness. He cried, she held him and was with him until he calmed down.

“I am so sorry my love.” She whispered gently. “I do not like to see you cry. You are so strong, so brave, so good Ned. It was not your fault.” She kissed his tears away and for the first time since they met in these same woods she looked at her husband with love. It only took her three and ten years and six children to comprehend how much Eddard Stark meant to her.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Cersei told her lord husband she loved him a year after she stumbled upon the realization. She was in her solar with Joanna, Arya and Bran. Arya was to finish with her needlework and then join her brothers in training if she desired. Joanna had her archery practice in the morning. She did not care for any swordplay. Kitten as Ned called the nine-year-old was able to defend herself but was not to be bothered with swordplay. Cersei did not push her. The two sisters were opposite to each other and fought tooth and nail. They always made up but could not be called best friends. Her children had favorites. Tommen loved Bran better. They were gentle and wise souls. Jon and Robb were always together. They were best friends. Jon loved his sisters better. Both girls would tolerate each other if it meant Jon played with them. Cersei had been paranoid at first when Joanna and Arya took much interest in their big brother. She was scared they loved their brother like she had loved hers. Her fears were completely unfounded. Jon was a bright boy who was fiercely protective of his baby sisters but nothing more. The girls loved Jon better simply because he was gentler than Robb or Tommen who were boyish and rougher. Jon actually wanted to play with the little girls.

That afternoon Arya ran out of the room as soon as she finished her lesson. Joanna shook her head but omitted any comments. Her daughters loved each other they were just too different to see it yet. She was sure they could never truly hate each other. Bran was drawing a picture of a wolf. He was too young to join any real training although Ned would take him hunting with the boys next month for his fifth name day. It was a quiet evening until they reached news from the Karhold. Poole rushed into her chambers. “My lady, there is word that the Karhold has been ambushed. Lord Stark is inside the castle. Cersei waited five days without news of her husband. 

According to the maester wildlings and outlaws had ambushed the Karhold. Rickard and Eddard were holding the fortress. She worried constantly and defied the maester at the sixth day. She sent Stark forces to dispel with outlaws. She wanted to know whether Ned was injured or fine. 

The attack was a success but there was no word of Ned. There were no ravens. She assumed the attack was successful because there had not been more ravens from the Karhold. 

By the eighth day Cersei wrote letters to the Stark bannermen. They would have to answer her summons and rescue Ned. Jon picked on her restlessness, so did Robb. Tommen, Joanna and Arya remained quiet. Only Bran remained oblivious. 

Arya was the first to see the horses. She yelled over to Robb and Jon who were sparring by the yard. She was in her solar when Joanna ran to her. “Father is here. Arya saw the horses.”

She ran out of her solar and outside to the gates. She knew Tommen and Bran were by her side. Joanna, Arya, Robb, and Jon hugged a bedraggled Ned who looked worse than when he came back to her during the Greyjoy Rebellion. 

Tommen and Bran ran ahead and hugged him too. “I’m fine.” He said wearily but happy to receive all those hugs.

Jon took action and commanded the rest of the Stark forces inside the stables. Arya, Robb and Tommen helped him while Joanna hugged her father.

“I’m fine Kitten. Please make sure Marian serves me some supper and I have clean clothes.”

The girl ran off to do as she was told. Bran followed her. He would probably go and try to climb some building. She watched as her son left. In front of her was Ned Stark, her husband. Cersei walked closer and hugged him. She had never hugged him or kissed the side of his neck with so much longing. His scruffy beard felt so good against her face. He held her and then she realized they were in the yard. It was improper. She was lady Stark and the commoners could not see her crumble or behave like a starved for affection wench. She stepped back just in time when Robb and Jon joined them. 

Ned kept watching her most intently. “I want to sleep.” Ned said tiredly. Maester Luwin was by his side. “Lord Stark. I would like to examine you before you rest.” Her husband nodded. Soon she was back in her bedchambers watching as the older man cleaned and patched minor cuts and the like. All the while Ned contemplated her. He had put Jon in charge of making sure the men were accommodated for the night while Robb helped him with his tasks. The rest of the children stayed in their rooms until after their father sent word for them. Cersei had been mute ever since she hugged him in the yard. She could not articulate any words. It was stupid and ridiculous. Ned had been to war and had been wounded more than a couple of times. Cersei had been perfectly calm and collected in all of those situations. She practically boasted of her strength. Lionesses do not cry or surrender, they fight. Cersei Stark was strong and a Lannister to boot. She remembered the first year and half of her marriage, her three lost babies and Jon becoming hers. She gave up Jaime and that almost killed her but she came out stronger. If she could live without her brother she certainly could live without Eddard Stark of Winterfell. 

Cersei did not want to however. Ever since she became Cersei Stark a world had been opened to her. She was a woman and for that reason conditioned from an early age that she was to be pretty and quiet. She learned to make the best of her circumstances. She had been sold to Eddard, her father had wanted an alliance with the North and Ned had wanted her far from his dear friend and the crown. 

Marriage to lord Stark gave her choices. Four and ten years ago father had given her a gift. Tywin Lannister thought he established more connections and had a firmer grasp of Westeros. It could be so, but only if it benefitted her or her lord husband. Cersei gained choices, power over her body, thoughts and actions. Ned did not stifle her like she supposed before marrying him. He let her be Cersei with her love for her children. Ned argued with her, questioned her motives but did so with respect. He respected her. Ned, her husband was kind to her. He was a kind ruler and instilled some of that kindness in her. She lacked that all her life, there is little compassion when one grows up as a Lannister. 

“Send for the children I want them here before I rest.” Ned said with his eyes half closed. She nodded still mute.

Her brood entered her rooms in less than fifteen minutes. The girls and Bran came close to Ned’s side. Even Arya clutched her papa. Joanna and her rained soft kisses on his face. Bran told him about an old keep he discovered while he was away. 

Tommen looked as if he wanted to join Bran on his tale but propriety mandated that he stayed with Robb and Jon. Her three eldest were standing up waiting for Ned to do or say something to them.

“Tommen, come by my side.” He ran and started to speak about the abandoned keep. For the first time in years Arya and Joanna were not bickering, they were just laying there side by side in Ned’s arms. 

“What happened father?” Jon asked and Robb nodded as if encouraging his sire to speak. 

“There has been disagreement among the Karstark’s men. Rickard practices do not bode well with all his men. I stayed in the Karhold to help him settle matters.”

Robb glanced at her suspiciously, “Mother sent you ravens, more than two and there was no answer. She sent our forces north because there were wildings and outlaws.” 

Eight days they had been without a word. Luwin sent ravens to the other bannermen she was sure Luwin sent another raven notifying them of the news. “There were outlaws, no wildlings and I did send a raven it must have gotten lost.” He was not lying. Cersei could tell when he lied to protect the children, this was not the case. He talked some more until Jon and Robb were appeased. 

Old Nan grabbed Bran, Tommen and Joanna went with them while Arya kissed his father goodbye and went along with Robb and Jon to eat something or other.

The lady of Winterfell looked at her husband and then as if stricken by a blow she understood and was scared but lionesses were brave. They did not cower, if she did not say it now she never would and he could die. He could go and die and she would not have told him. Eddard deserved to know, it would make him so happy to know and she wanted to see him happy.

She stared out of the big window in their rooms. The children were gone; she felt his arms around her. He turned her around. This was her opportunity. She finally spoke. “You are fine.” She said and then kissed his lips gently. 

“I love you.” She said as she looked up to his eyes. He smiled, that big smile of his that he would wear when the children were small. The same smile he gave her when he told her how much he loved her. 

He kissed her one more time. “I almost gave up. I thought you would never say those words to me my love.” She cried because she knew she loved him but it was not good news. Love could destroy what they had. She was content; she loved her life as co-ruler of Winterfell. Cersei could not bear to not tell him but could not imagine a world in which she was in love with her husband. The doubts came to her immediately. Did she love him more than Jaime?

Jaime was her soul mate, her other half. This was different; she loved Jaime because in a way he was an extension of what she was. He was all that she could not be. He was she in armor. A male Cersei but a golden fool, unlike her in so many ways, she loved Ned in a different and wholly new terrifying way. She loved him and it was her choice, Jaime she had to love. He was part of her but Ned... Ned managed to make her love him. 

This man she had once thought cold, honorable but cold and incapable of making her happy had given her much more happiness in four and ten years than she ever thought she deserved to have. He patiently waited for her to love him. Ned never demanded. He asked, they argued until one of them won the argument, usually her. Her husband made sure she was heard and that she was happy. 

He kissed her neck more and more and as always she received his kisses and his touch. She kissed his lips and welcomed the scratches from his beard. “Cersei.” He repeated as they went to their bed. He smelled of sweat and Ned. She was not completely repulsed by his smell but he was in need of a bath. “You reek.” She wrinkled her nose and he chuckled. 

She did not expect what he did next. Her husband laced her gown. Cersei was stunned when he pulled a tunic over his breeches and grabbed her hand. “Come with me.” He pulled her out of their castle. She was surprised by how quickly he moved. He had scratches around his back and ribs but he moved swiftly around the yard and into his godswoods. Cersei followed with a smile. He was secretive and did not want people to see them.

She recognized his weirwoods, the places where they married and where he and the children prayed. Arya, Tommen, Jon and Joanna loved these woods. Robb and Bran were more interested in adventures than praying really. Ned led them far into the godswoods. Cersei had never been so deep in these woods. They came to a clearing. It was a beautiful place, full of old trees unlike the weirwoods they did not have faces carved in their trunks. These trees were beautiful nonetheless. She saw her husband in front of what appeared to be a pool. 

The lady of Winterfell knew about the hot springs around the estate. Jon and Bran loved the big lake like pool by the small keep west of the castle. She spent many afternoons watching her children play in the water. She longed for the beaches in the Westerlands. Of course she never joined her children in the water. It was not proper or comely to see the Warden of the North's wife soaked and in disarray. 

Ned undressed in front of her. He was still very handsome; he was lean and strong. He had more scars and lines around his face but he was attractive, very attractive. She could have done worse. He gingerly stepped into the small pool. "My lady wife cannot say I do not please her. My lady's wishes are commands." He leaned back and enjoyed the water around him. Cersei looked around and smiled wickedly. She undressed hurriedly and stepped inside the pool next to him. 

The water felt delicious. It was unlike swimming in the streams or the sea. This was far more relaxing and exciting. The pool couldn't have been larger than two of their beds and it was not deep. She would not let her children swim in it but she was an excellent swimmer as was Tyrion and Jaime. Ned was a swimmer too it seemed; he circled her with his arms and kissed her. Ned kissed her differently. He sought entrance surely with ease; there was no hesitation. Eddard caressed the side of her face and smiled. His grey eyes were luminous. Once she said the words it seemed she could not stop uttering them. “I love you.” She whispered and gasped when he kissed her some more. 

“I love you Lady Stark Warden of the North.” He said quickly and placed her over his erection. She never experienced such pleasure when he took her. It had to be the hot water around them. Ned thrust inside of her and she bit her lips. It would not do well if she yelled his name in ecstasy. “No one will hear you. Say my name.” He hissed and had a gentle grip on her hips. She threw her head back and felt a delicious tingle from her toes to her center. “NED.” She forgot about everything, she was not Cersei, only her pleasure existed, no Lannisters, Starks or any of the Seven kingdoms mattered in that second. Ned stood up. She could not believe he could stand up and carry her to a grassy patch but he did. She was once again glad that it was spring; one of the longest springs recorded in recent history. Ned joined her again and made love to her. It was the first time she called it love. She ran her fingers over his hair and enjoyed his sweet nothings. He had never been this loving to her. He held the vehement declarations of love until this moment when she finally acknowledged that she loved him. “You are mine as I am yours.” He said while locking eyes with her. She could feel him moving inside of her, his words had an effect on her. She repeated them, “You are mine as I am yours.” She felt compelled to kiss him. They came together in what had to be the most delicious orgasm she had received. They panted side by side. Ned laughed and she joined him. She laughed until he kissed her again. They walked back to the castle at dusk. Her hair was wet and so was his. Cersei leaned on her husband’s shoulder; she hugged his torso as they walked.

He was quiet but she came to appreciate quiet. They talked quietly until they heard Rodrick and their sons training. Tommen was the first to notice them. “Mother why is your hair wet? Did father and you swim by the pools?” Robb and Jon paled and there was disgust in their faces. Rodrick turned around and it was evident he was trying to conceal his laughter. 

Robb, as always Robb spoke. “No more children please.” He said it quietly. Ned would glare at him if he dared say it loudly. The children loved their father but they respected him too much. Jon and Robb idolized him.

Jon could not meet her gaze. She smiled; they were adorable but almost grown. They understood what their parents were doing. 

“Papa showed me some pools and we swam.” 

“You had enough training for today.” Ned picked Tommen and glared at his eldest children. “You two stay and practice. Not a word about this anymore.” 

Rodrick shook with silent laughter. Ned looked uncomfortable but she did not care. She gave him five alive children. She realized she had nothing to be ashamed or uncomfortable about. She smiled all the way back to their chambers.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

There was outrage all around the Seven Kingdoms. Cersei Stark received the ravens before her husband told her the news. Jaime wrote to her, he did not bother to write as often. Tywin Lannister wrote to her every month, they were cold missives, informative but cold. Tyrion wrote to his nephews. He had yet to meet Arya and Bran but he sent them letters and gifts nonetheless. 

She was in her solar teaching Arya and Joanna languages and how to play instruments. Surprisingly neither girl was interested. Joanna at least tried to play along for her sake but Arya was possibly the most hardheaded creature in the Seven Kingdoms. She refused to pay attention. “I want to go fishing with the boys.” Joanna stayed quiet. Cersei noticed her eldest was dying to tell her little sister off but remained quiet because of her. “Absolutely not.” Lady Stark said primly.

“Why? It is not fair. Bran is going and he does not even like fishing. I like fishing.” Joanna rolled her eyes and continued writing in high Valyrian.

“I said no, and this matter is not up for discussion. You are a lady.” 

“I am not.” Arya fussed and her braids shook with the movement.

“You will be one. Even if I have to take away all your lessons.” Cersei gave her the best do not try me look.

Arya backed down and scribbled. The raven arrived; she read the letter and did not know what to think about those outcomes. King Robert legitimized one of his bastards. There were sixteen in all. He legitimized the eldest male. Gendry Baratheon, first of his name and heir to the throne. Catelyn must be seething in King’s Landing. Jaime wrote to her about the outcome. In his letter he stated that the king had been made aware that the queen could no longer give him any heirs. The Crown had four princesses; Myrcella, Lyanna, Alayne and Cassana. All useless, the crown demanded a male heir. According to her twin the king could not set Catelyn aside. Riverrun would rebel with more than enough reason. Instability could not be tolerated, not now. Stannis would have been the better option but Robert Baratheon did not believe his younger brother could be king. Stannis’s wife gave birth to a baby girl and Renly had Storm’s End to take care of. The king and Jon Arryn decreed that the eldest bastard boy would do as heir to the Seven Kingdoms. Gendry Baratheon was as old as Robb, perhaps older and had been raised in Flea Bottom until a year ago. His mother, a tavern wench, likely a whore was dead and had been so since the boy was three years old. Jon Arryn gave him to a blacksmith to apprentice and then made sure he was close to him. 

Now the bastard boy was to be king. Cersei shook her head. She would no doubt hear from her lord father. The crown owed the Lannisters at least half the kingdoms. Tywin inched closer and closer to King’s Landing to become the Hand of the King. Jon Arryn was the only impediment; she was a bit surprised the old man was still alive. If she were her father she would have killed the man years ago. After all Tywin was the next feasible option to be Hand of the king. 

Ned came to the bedchamber late, after she saw all the children to bed. In reality she only visited Bran and Arya’s chambers. Bran was her last baby and it was hard to let go while with her youngest daughter it was a matter of making sure she was tucked safely in bed and not wandering around the castle or worse the stables. At least half the men called her Arya underfoot. Cersei had been incensed when Ned refused to punish the men. 

He kissed her lips and slipped next to her. “Robert legitimized one of his bastards.” The word bastard always left a bad after taste in her husband’s mouth. She chose to ignore his uncomfortable tone and act surprised at his statement. 

“Why?” She asked while lying on his chest. 

“The queen cannot give him more children. Do not play coy Cersei. You have probably known that little fact for years, perhaps since the youngest princess was born.” 

She looked up and saw turmoil behind his eyes. Ned was not one to worry about politics. The North was safe and away from all the intrigues and dirty power plays. “I worry about Jon.” That definitely captured her attention.

“He is the heir of Winterfell. We made sure of that.” She kissed his chest. Ned caressed her long hair. “People know he’s a bastard.”

“He is not. He is mine own. I nursed him; I took care of him when he almost died. It was me who stayed up all night. I cured fevers; I kissed his scrapes. He calls me mother. You will not take that away from me.” Cersei said fiercely.

Ned kissed her angry scowl. “My love, have you ever thought that it would be best if Jon knew about his birth? He should know you did not birth him.” 

Cersei paled and retreated from her husband. “Not if I can help it. He will never know. You will not tell him Ned, promise me.” She said.

“I can’t. He will ask, Cersei and we will not have any other choice but to tell him the truth.” She shook her head and faced her dresser instead of her husband.

“My men will never dare say anything about his birth but there will come a time when he will know.” He hugged her but she refused to let him see her anxiety. Intellectually she understood that it was best to let Jon know. He would not lose any titles. He was the true heir of Winterfell, legitimized by the king and recognized by his father just as this Gendry boy was. Power shifts were in play and once again she wondered whether her father gained or lost in the game. She was not an active player. King Robert could whore and drink; she felt a need to write to her father for counsel. She laughed internally; her lord father would dismiss the letter without a second glance. It would not benefit for all Westeros to know that the heir to Winterfell was a legitimized bastard. Cersei would have to wait and reevaluate the game. She needn’t worry. The game of thrones did not concern her. Jon would be heir of Winterfell. Robb would dispose of Casterly Rock. Joanna would marry Gendry Baratheon, heir to the throne. Tommen would marry Sansa Arryn and rule in the Eyre. Robin Arryn was a sickly child, too feeble to be the true warden of the Mountains and the Vale. Arya would be in Winterfell for as long as she could. Bran could marry one of the princesses and be a knight just like he wanted. 

Cersei’s plans for the future reassured her but could not keep the doubt in her heart that something was coming. Something that would shake the peaceful existence she kept.

Ned held her; he liked to hold her to him. She once asked him why he would hold her all night. “Making sure you do not run away from me.” He mumbled half asleep. Cersei had rolled her eyes but now she welcomed his strength. Ned held her tight and whispered. “All of them will be safe. We all will be.” She wanted to believe him but the uneasiness did not go away. She did not sleep that night.

Jon Arryn was dead. She barely knew the man but he had been like a father to Ned. She received the raven from Tyrion who also announced that the Royals and the Lannisters were riding North. She walked through the godswoods, and reached the weirwoods. 

Her husband polished his great sword, Ice. She smiled when he looked into her eyes. “How are the they?” Ned asked.

“Arya and Joanna are in love with their direwolves. Arya named hers Nymeria and Joanna named hers Lady.”

“Tommen named his Shaggy Dog.” Ned chuckled and she sat next to him. “He has a sense of humor.” Cersei chuckled. Tommen was an easygoing child with a kind soul, the kindest of her children.

“My love, we received a raven. Jon Arryn is dead. I am so sorry my love.” She held him as he clutched her. It was sad news, Ned asked her for time to pray and ask guidance. She told him about the royal visit. He nodded but concentrated on his prayers. 

She let him be in those woods. He needed the spiritual release that this place afforded him. The lady of Winterfell retreated to the castle. It had been four years since Gendry Baratheon took his place as true heir to the Crown. Cersei walked and thought about the repercussions for the visit. She understood that the King’s visit was not a social one. He would ask her husband to be the new Hand of the King. Court was not a place for Ned; he was too honorable, too trusting and ethical for such place. He could not refuse however; it would be an insult to the king. She looked around, Jon and Robb trained together, sometimes she could not believe her boys were seven and ten and six and ten. Joanna and Tommen had just turned four and ten. Arya was three and ten and flowered. Bran her last boy was eight years old, hardly a babe.

The children found a dead direwolf with pups still nursing. Jon reasonably argued they had to take them in; after all it was the sigil of their house. They were in luck because there were seven direwolf pups. One for each heir and a spare, Farlen, the kennel master advised against the pups. There had not been any direwolves in Winterfell since the Targaryens arrived to Westeros. They were practically mythical creatures. Ned had relented when Bran pleaded. Her baby boy had gone to see his first execution, a deserter from the Wall. Cersei stalled as long as she could but Ned enforced his authority and took Bran along with the older boys. 

She was not surprised to see Arya and Tommen sparring or Joanna with the pups sitting by the shade. Bran was probably trying to climb the walls. She saw him surefooted and grinning from a tower. He had not decided on a name for his pup yet. Robb called his Grey Wind and Jon called his albino pup Ghost. 

Joanna grinned and grabbed her hand, “mother. Is it true? The prince is coming to Winterfell?” Cersei smiled, Joanna wanted to be queen and she would help her. “Yes, sweetling. We must prepare the castle and receive the royal party. Your uncles are coming too and grandfather.” The blond beauty smiled, she was every bit Cersei when she was three and ten. She would make a beautiful queen. The lady of Winterfell called her youngest girl, Arya. 

“Come Arya. We must advance your lessons…” Her youngest daughter rolled her eyes but dropped her wooden sword. Bran climbed down and joined Tommen. Cersei lectured her two daughters. “I want you to behave like ladies. No riding without your brothers, no sparring for you Arya. Joanna, no archery for you and I do not want to see you near Jeyne Poole. You have a sister, Arya, talk to her and confide in her. The same applies to you.” Cersei watched as her daughters looked to each other and glared. 

The girls were not as friendly to each other as she would have liked them to be. They were different. Joanna loved stories with princes and princesses. She was strong and liked archery but could not be compelled to try sword fighting. She wanted to be queen, to have children and a family. Arya was a warrior; she wanted to be Nymeria reborn. She wanted to be like Brienne of Tarth, who was victorious in tourneys and had some fame in the Stormlands. Cersei watched her and suffered for her. If only she were a little more like Joanna, who was more ladylike. Arya was a force to be reckoned with and volatile, much more so than she had been at that age. 

“But mother, Jeyne is my best friend. Arya is so…” Cersei dared her daughter say anything unkind about her little sister. She had heard the horrible moniker that steward’s daughter called her little girl. Arya Horseface. Her daughter of course tried to pay no heed to such things beneath her. Cersei however knew her little girl and those comments hurt her. It did not help that Joanna shunned her for Jeyne and then Arya lashed against both girls. This was their opportunity to rekindle their friendship. 

“She is so Arya.” Joanna said with a hopeless voice. Arya glared at her. “Well I certainly do not want to spend time with someone as stupid as you.” She frowned. “I can stay with Jon or Robb.”

“You will not. I said no swordplay and your brothers would be far too busy once the Royals come.” They were in her solar. Cersei lectured and asked them to help with the preparations. She included Arya. No daughter of hers would do as she pleased. Arya was strong but so was Cersei Stark. 

“Arya and Joanna, you will like each other and make sure to friend the princesses. Your father would be disappointed if you did not. King Robert is his best friend.” Those words used to work on Arya but now the little girl was not as swayed as before.

“I bet you will have no problem getting along. They probably are as stupid as you are Joanna.” Arya said mockingly.

“Shut up horseface.” Joanna said with a frown marring her beautiful face.

Cersei glared at them. “Apologize to each other. You will stop Arya Stark, need I remind you that Joanna is your sister. Joanna, I you will not call your sister that name ever again.”

“What are our words?” She hissed.

“Winter is Coming.” They said at unison.

“Correct, you will need each other. You are sisters and nothing will ever change that. There will come a time when you will need each other.”

Supper was a grim affair. She rounded the children and explained that Jon Arryn had died. None of them knew the man, but understood that their father held the man in great esteem. Jon was named after him after all. 

Ned was quiet more so than any other day. He did not smile when Joanna told him about Lady’s antics or when Tommen spoke about his progress in archery or when he mentioned the little direwolf pup that had no owner. The last pup remained nameless and was the most aggressive one. Robb attempted to lighten the mood. “Nuncle Tyrion will be coming with the royal party.”

Cersei nodded, Robb and Jon were particularly fond of the Imp. The twins were too young to remember anything about their uncle while Arya and Bran had never met any Lannisters. 

“Your grandfather will be here too.” She commented. None of her children had met Tywin Lannister. Ned shifted uncomfortably; he avoided all talk about Tywin. 

“Uncle Jaime will be happy to see you too.” She commented and continued to converse with her older children who told stories of Jaime when they met him. 

Ned sought her that night and had her with single-minded intent. She was but an instrument for his pleasure. She welcomed him and his desperation. Once spent above her he rolled next to her. “Winter is coming my love.” He rasped and kissed her sweaty brow. They were under think furs and the fires were alight. 

She moved his hair away from his face. “You are worried about father.” She could sense his trepidation; it was the same feeling she had. She did not really understand why father would bother to come north. It was not something she cared to think about too much.

Cersei kissed his chest. “Lysa Arryn and her children have fled to the Eyre.” She whispered. 

“How have you acquired this knowledge?” Ned asked her with his hands rubbing her back.

“Tyrion wrote to me about it.” She said simply and kissed his throat. His hands went lower to her right ass cheek. 

“I thought you despised your brother.” He teased her.

“I do but we are Lannisters and family comes first.” She said with a wicked smile. All the Seven Kingdoms knew about his righteousness but they did not know how her wicked little smile reduced him to a grunting animal. He growled and pinned her underneath him.

“Stark. You are Cersei Stark.” He pushed her legs apart and entered her. Cersei rocked her hips against his. She bared her neck for him to mark her. Ned had moods in which he loved to bite and lick her. She had come to like the stinging sensation of his teeth sinking into her flesh and then his tongue laving her marked skin. She moaned when he pulled both her legs to his shoulders and claimed her. She was exhausted by the end of the night. Ned sought solace in her, he was troubled but could not say the words. Cersei helped him, just as he helped her so many times.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

They arrived four months later. Cersei and Joanna had the castle shinning and ready to welcome their visitors. Arya had reluctantly, very reluctantly helped her sister and mother with the preparations for the welcoming feasts. 

They were all decked with their finest garments and jewelry. Ned refused to have his hair cut but she forcibly trimmed his beard and combed his hair into a manly hairstyle. Jon and Robb looked less hairy too. Her sons were so alike that sometimes it was hard to believe she had not birthed Jon. Tommen and Joanna were side-by-side, golden twins, so unlike her and Jaime thankfully. Tommen loved his sister but he preferred to be in company of Bran or Jon. Arya and Bran finished the receiving line. Arya would have preferred to be between Robb and Jon. The Stark women looked beautiful, Arya’s choice was very appropriate. The girl had taste; she chose a dark blue dress for her while Joanna looked beautiful with a green gown. Both girls styled their hair in the northern fashions, long braids for their long blonde and brown hairs. Cersei wore her hair like her girls in long braids, she chose a shimmering grey gown with white trimmings, Stark colors.

They were ready to receive the royal party and the Lannisters of Casterly Rock. The king and the prince rode first, behind the Kingsguard. She looked to her side and watched as Joanna smiled. The little kitten was half in love with the heir to the Crown. He was handsome, she had to give him that. He looked just like Robert had a lifetime ago. The king was fat and old. She glanced at her husband who she daresay looked more handsome than when she met him. 

The queen and the princesses exited the carriage. Catelyn looked older than her years, no doubt because of the king and his mistreatment. “You got fat.” The king said and then Ned looked at the king’s gut. Cersei tensed for a brief moment before smiling when both men embraced good-naturedly. 

Catelyn smiled tightly when Ned kissed her hand. “My queen.” He said with a bow. 

The king hugged her a little to tight and his hands were too free too. She endured the groping for a half a minute until Ned cleared his throat and pulled her away from the king. 

The king chuckled. “This is Gendry, my son.” The young man was nervous. He bowed to Cersei and her daughters. Arya locked gazes with him. The prince smiled at her. 

The queen frowned a little when Robert turned and pushed the tallest of the redheaded girls. “These are my princesses, Anna, Alayne and Cassana.” All the girls were pretty; they looked like well-mannered and tempered young ladies. The Crown was surely making marriage contracts for them. Cersei thought Anna would do nicely for Jon. Princess Myrcella would have been a better choice but she was dead. The girl perished two years ago to a fever. The girl had been feeble while Anna had a charm to her blue eyes. They were common blue eyes unlike Robert and the prince’s piercing blue eyes. Stannis and Renly shared the same exact blue eyes. 

Catelyn did nothing to hide her disliking of the prince. She talked to another pretty redhead. She was far more beautiful than any of the princesses. “This is my niece. Sansa Arryn.” Catelyn said politely and the young lady curtsied. She smiled prettily at Robb and Jon. 

King Robert kept his eyes on her bosom. “These are our children your grace.” She said formally. It would not do for Catelyn to see her as a threat. The queen must have been used to these distasteful displays; the woman averted her eyes and engaged in conversation with her niece. 

“Oh, Cersei, let me try my luck.” The king boasted. 

She smiled and let the king approach her eldest. “You must be Jon the heir.” He clapped her son in the back.

“You are Robb, after me young lad. More handsome than your big brother aye.” He chuckled and clapped him too. 

The fat king moved next to Tommen. “Now this one looks like a Lannister but is at Stark, you have your father’s eyes.” He messed his hair. 

“Brandon after your brother but he looks more like Benjen don’t you think Ned?” Ned smiled. “He does.” He was of course delighted that his old friend remembered his offspring’s name. No doubt Catelyn had coached him or Tyrion who was said to spend all his time in court. 

“This pretty face must be Joanna. A fair lady in the making.” He bowed ungraciously to her. Joanna, bless her soul smiled prettily and blushed. 

The king noticed Arya for the first time and he failed to produce a name. He smiled sadly. “Lyanna.” He said with a longing that worried Cersei.

“My name is Arya.” She said and then her eyes rounded and she hurriedly said. “Your grace.” 

The king regained his faculties and turned to Ned. “Take me to her.” Catelyn tried to convince him otherwise but he was adamant on seeing Lyanna Stark.

Suddenly she was in the yard with the royal party. “Why don’t we go inside?” 

“Cersei, some things do not change do they?” Catelyn said with an ever-fixed sad smile.

“We must accept our fates.” Cersei said smiling for her sake. 

They walked to the castle. Her boys and the prince preferred to go to the training yards and work an appetite for the feast. The queen did not bother to say anything. 

She noticed Jaime for the first time once they were inside the great hearth of Winterfell. He looked well; she was pleasantly surprised when they locked gazes. She did not feel anything inappropriate. She smiled when he kissed her. Jaime no longer aroused anything but filial feelings in her. “Stark colors.” He said as response, time and space had cooled his ardor too. He watched her with regret but seemed resigned to have lost her. “I am a Stark brother.” She replied and he nodded. 

She hosted all the hens and made accommodations for them. The queen and her party claimed exhaustion and retired. The lady of Winterfell and her daughters greeted Tyrion and their grandfather. 

“My nieces are nothing but beautiful girls. Such beauties, do you not think so father?” Tyrion did not let their father speak. “Two kingdoms united. Joanna, a fair maiden representing Casterly Rock, golden hair of the House Lannister.” The Imp kissed Joanna who kissed his cheek too. Cersei would have censored such display if it were not for the face Tywin Lannister pulled. He looked sour and discomfited. Tyrion could always provoke a rise out of father. 

“She must be Arya of House Stark. A northern beauty you truly are my sweetling. The king sees his lost lady Lyanna but your cheekbones; oh those are your mother’s. She always has had beautiful cheekbones, one of her redeeming qualities.” He said in complicity. Arya’s face lit up and she chuckled. Tyrion winked at her. 

“Father it is wonderful to see you again.” Cersei said dutifully. Lord Lannister nodded. “Where is your husband?” Tywin Lannister was not anything if not arrogant. He was in a home that was not his but looked as if he owned every single and last of them. Her father looked at his granddaughters. Lord Lannister looked at Joanna with something akin to regret. No one in the room noticed however. Young Joanna Stark was more beautiful than her mother; she was just as beautiful as Tywin’s Joanna had been. Lord Lannister glanced back at his daughter expecting an answer. 

“He is down in the crypts with the King. These are…” She was about to properly introduce her daughters. “Do not concern yourself. Joanna and Arya. Your brother eloquently introduced them.” He left the hall without another word. Cersei hated the fact that she felt like the neglected child she had been once mother died and father became completely cold. Lady Stark still wanted approval from the dour man. She had been the only one he should be proud of. Cersei Lannister provided him plenty of grandchildren to continue his thrice-damned legacy. 

“A charming man I have always said.” Tyrion smirked and asked for his nephews. “I have yet to meet Brandon. I would love to see Robb and Jon. I assume Tommen is with them as well.”

Arya looked positively scheming. She knew that her mother could not afford to deny her plans because she hosted the royals and her family. “I’ll take you to them nuncle. Come, quickly.” She dragged a laughing Tyrion away. 

“You are just as beautiful as your mother was.” Jaime kissed Joanna’s cheek. Cersei felt discomfited, her daughter was not she, Joanna was sweet child with Ned’s sense of loyalty and honor. 

“Thank you uncle.” Jaime smiled, a sad smile and watched her go after Tyrion and Arya. Her daughter was a good girl. She had been tasked with making sure Arya was as lady like as possible. 

Cersei was once again alone with Jaime. Her heart thumped. He would help her she was sure, “You will go to King’s Landing I presume.” Jaime looked at her gently. His eyes drank her in. Her brother was still handsome.

“I do not understand…” Ladies were to be seen not heard. No lady would ever bother with politics and intrigues. Cersei tried to put a front.

“Surely you must know. King Robert does not trust our father, or any Lannisters for that matter. He will ask Stark to be his Hand.” Her twin stated with a sarcastic voice. 

Cersei dropped the façade. Jaime would not be fooled. Her brothers knew her. Jaime understood her and Tyrion knew how cruel and manipulative she could be, “What has Stannis done? Why does it have to be my husband?” She said angrily.

Jaime looked as if she had gone insane, “You wanted to be queen. Ever since we were children we spoke about you being a queen and I would be your knight.”

She smiled, an echo of his sad smile, “I wanted to be a knight too brother but alas I am neither queen nor knight. I am Lady Stark and the Starks do not do well south. King’s Landing is not a place for Ned.”

“I am sure you will keep your northern man safe.” Jaime did nothing to disguise his contempt for his brother in law. 

Cersei switched tactics, he would never be the ally she needed to keep Ned protected. He held too much hatred for her husband. She switched to the Arryns. “Lysa Arryn fled with little Robert. Why did she not take her daughter Sansa with her?”

Jaime sat down by the fires. Winter was coming indeed. Ned speculated that their summer would not last another year. She waited for her brother to answer her inquiry. “Lysa despises her daughter. I believe she is jealous of the girl’s beauty. Half court expects her to be the new queen.”

She rolled her eyes, “Please, Joanna is far more beautiful than that Arryn girl.”

“Lysa Arryn spread rumors before she left to the Eyre.” Jaime said clearly. “She told anyone who would listen that her husband was killed by Lannisters.”

Cersei’s head snapped to her brother. Finally, this conversation yielded something more than idle gossip. “Did we?” It sounded like a ploy her father would hatch but it was too obvious, too overt for her father to scheme in such way.

“I do not know, Tyrion would never and father has denied it but Lannisters lie.” Jaime said calmly. 

“Ned will not refuse the king.” Cersei said mournfully. The king would convince her husband and Ned’s sense of loyalty and friendship would win out. 

“He should refuse. The last Starks who went to King’s landing melted like summer snows.” Her twin smirked and wore a sardonic smile. 

Cersei looked at him and tried again, “You have to protect him. Swear it.”

Jaime laughed and stood up from his place by the fire. She held his hands and looked worriedly at him. He was a few inches taller than her. In that moment Cersei was anxious, she felt something in her chest and needed to tell Jaime. Her brother had to know and help her. He would help her, Jaime always did. He had been her protector and best friend before she married Ned. This was serious. For the first time in seven and ten years she initiated physical contact with him. “I love him. I hurt if he hurts.” She said with a pleading voice.

He touched her cheek. “Have you any idea, how much those words hurt?” He said with a deep sadness. Cersei felt selfish but Ned needed Jaime to take care of him. He rubbed her cheek and traced her lips. “I love you, I will love you until I exhale my last breath and you ask me to protect your husband.”

She paused, could he have changed? Could he deny her this? “Eddard is a good man. He is far from perfect. He is too stubborn and single-minded but he is mine. I will do anything to protect him and the children.” She said with conviction. 

Jaime misinterpreted her implication; he stepped back. “The Kingslayer they call me. I am no rapist sweet sister. Do not concern yourself. Your wolf and wolflings will be safe. I promise.”

She thanked him with a hug. He hugged her fiercely. They broke their embrace when Bran ran inside with his puppy. She smiled at him, “come here love.” Bran smiled and walked to her. “Robb, Jon, Tommen and the prince left me.” He hugged her and the wolf yapped and barked at Jaime.

“Meet uncle Jaime.” Bran smiled. “You are in the Kingsguard. You are knight, a true proper knight.” Her youngest was in awe of his uncle and monopolized his attention from then on. Jaime had barely time to glance at her when Bran dragged him outside. Nuncle Jaime had to see the other pups and the horses. 

Cersei stayed in the hall by the fire, waiting, hoping Ned miraculously refused his oldest friend. She watched the flames dance and tried to think about the outcomes of this visit; the prospects were disheartening indeed.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

The welcoming feast for the royals was to be a grand affair. Cersei had her family on a tight leash. She had her eldest boys meet in Jon’s quarters. They had just arrived from the local brothel. She knew it had probably been Robb’s idea. She did not need to know any details about their outings. Tommen, her four and ten year old son had lost his virginity today. They must have taken the prince to sample the local wenches. Jon should have known better. Eddard scowled when the boys came back to the fort. King Robert laughed and clapped her children and the prince in the back. She glared at Ned the first time her sons visited that place but he merely shrugged and kept quiet. 

Arya and Joanna were getting ready for the feast in Joanna’s quarters. She would inspect her children once she was done with her preparation. Cersei was to wear her hair in an elaborate braid; the handmaiden wove pieces of emeralds in her hair. It was beautiful. She smiled at the mirror and put on her green gown. She decided to not wear any Lannister or Stark colors tonight. 

“You look as beautiful as when you first came North.” Ned said from the door. He trimmed his beard and looked handsome. 

“You jest my lord. I am old, I have lines around my eyes, I have marks from all your horrible big children and my teats are sagging.” 

He smirked and kissed her lips. “I like them just fine.” He touched her breasts lightly. 

“You would.” She chuckled and batted his hands away from her body. “I have to make sure our daughters have not killed each other.

She stepped away from the room and went to Joanna’s quarters. The girls were the perfect pictures of little ladies. Joanna wore a beautiful crimson gown that showcased her femininity and outlined her figure as a woman grown. She wore her hair in a braided crown, both girls did. Arya looked beautiful with her grey gown, it accented the creamy of her skin. She was at ease in the simple yet pretty dress. Her youngest daughter almost looked ladylike. Her Stark grey eyes shone when Joanna helped her with a tear shaped pendant. Arya was a warrior but she was a girl too. All girls wanted to be pretty and her daughter as hard headed, independent and fierce was a woman and she wanted to look her best. These rare and precious moments encouraged Cersei; her girls loved one another.

Lady Stark strode in and smiled, “You both look beautiful my girls.”  
“Mother, come help me put flowers in Arya’s hair.”

Arya shook her head. “No flowers, I already have my hair in this ridiculous style. Must I suffer through flowers too?”

Joanna rolled her yes. “You have to. Mother make her do it, what will the queen think of us when she sees us?”

Cersei grabbed a bunch of white and red wildflowers. “Your father once said I looked lovely with flowers in my hair. He won a Tourney for me and declared me his queen of love of beauty.” Her girls looked attentively at her. “It was the queen’s nameday too. Your father undid the biggest crown of flowers and gave me the red and white ones.” She cut the flowers from their stems. She put red flowers on Joanna’s hair first. Arya very reluctantly helped her and let her mother and sister put white flowers in her hair.

“I don’t understand why I have to wear this stupid dress. Joanna is the one who wants to be queen and reign the Seven kingdoms.” Cersei ignored her youngest. 

Joanna glared at her sister but looked hopefully at her mother. “Has father said anything mother? Will I be queen?” She gasped. Cersei smiled, one of her secretive smiles. She kissed her forehead. Lady Stark had an inkling her daughter would seal a marriage contract tonight. Joanna would enthrall the young prince; she was even more beautiful than her when she was four and ten. 

“It is time. Arya please leave your hair in peace. You look beautiful my loves both of you. Your brothers will be waiting for you.” She left them and went to get her sons. 

Bran was trying to get away from Jon who chased him. Robb and Tommen were speaking about horses. “Robb, you will escort Arya and Jon you will escort Joanna. Tommen and Bran you will behave properly.” They all nodded. 

“Did you have words with Arya?” Robb queried as they left the rooms.

“As it matters I had. Keep an eye on her.” She advised Robb.

Ned waited by the stairs for her. They entered the great hall and welcomed their guests. Once king Robert arrived the feast was a proper celebration. Cersei noted the queen looked perfectly coiffed but looked bothered by the prince’s presence. The young man was with his youngest sister Cassana. She was Joanna’s age and every bit beautiful. He twirled her and laughed merrily. He looked kind and comfortable with his sisters. Alayne blushed and danced with Jon probably smitten already. Robb was with Arya laughing at something. Joanna and Sansa Arryn were placidly speaking.

She sat with the queen and learned that princess Lyanna was engaged to Wyllas Tyrell. “She is to be married as soon as we return to King’s Landing.”

Cersei smiled, “I am sure she will love Highgarden.” She remembered her teenage years. She had been Sansa Arryn’s age when her father married her off to Ned. Political alliances he called it. The Baratheons secured the Reach, they would have loved to have such a claim in the Westerlands but unfortunately for them the apparent heir was a dwarf. Lady Stark smirked, the advisors to the crown surely believed that Tywin would leave everything to uncle Kevan. Almost no one counted Tyrion as heir apparent. Her brother was in his cups with the Greatjon. They made such comical contrast. She glanced at the lower tables and found king Robert drinking ale from some wench’s bosom. The queen looked displeased with reason if Eddard even dared to display such behavior she would rip his eyes and tongue from his face.

She searched for him in the crowds and was taken aback to see him with Jaime. They were speaking with the same tension they reserved for each other. She saw as Benjen joined them. Lord Tywin approached Tyrion’s table and was possibly arguing with his youngest son because in less than five minutes. The two men disappeared from the great hall. “Your Joanna is quite beautiful.” The queen’s eyes went to the young girl who danced with the prince. Sansa Arryn did not look pleased. 

Joanna was the picture of beauty. Prince Gendry was courteous and a good dancer it seemed. “Your niece does not look pleased your grace.”

Catelyn smiled sadly. “She is half in love with the bastard. He of course does not pay her any mind. Lysa was a fool to not take her to the Eyre but truth be told my sister is not fond of her daughter. Sansa takes after me, in looks. She is beautiful and a sweet creature if not naïve. A silly girl dare I say, as we both were when we were so young.” Cersei smiled. Joanna would be queen. 

The feast was a success. Cersei was happy to boast that her children were perfect that night. Bran did not climb any surface and retired early, as befit of a child his age. Tommen entertained princess Cassana. She could see him blushing from time to time. Robb and Jon were perfect gentlemen and danced with Arya and Joanna. She laughed when Robb and Arya spun in the middle of Winterfell hall. Joanna clapped and smiled prettily at her siblings. Jon and his uncle Benjen laughed uproariously. Robb spun Arya who giggled and danced vigorously. Cersei had never seen her daughter so sure in a dress. She looked wild, untamed, with her hair and the flowers spilling from the pretty hairstyle. Cersei was not the only one watching, Gendry Baratheon watched too. Lady Stark failed to see the heir to the crown looking at her daughter with a strange expression in his face. 

Cersei smiled when Ned and the King approached the table. King Robert was in his cups but her husband was sober and somber. “Dear Cersei, make your mule of a husband understand it is an honor to be the Hand of the King.” The man sat a little too close to her and rested his hand on her leg. 

Ned frowned at his eldest friend. “Remove your hands from my wife.” He said with a deadpan voice. Robert Baratheon looked puzzled and the queen looked embarrassed. Ned glared at the king who glared back and then burst out in joyous laughter. “The Quiet Wolf does not share.” The king smiled. “Lighten up Ned.” The fat king roared and went back to the common hall to his kitchen wench. 

Cersei looked at her husband he was not pleased. She smiled and decided to once again establish conversation with the queen who decided to retire. “My queen, a word please.” 

The queen slowed her walk. Cersei walked with her. “How are you Catelyn?”

The redheaded woman did not smile. She was cold and closed off. “I am fine Lady Stark.” 

Cersei stiffened. The queen was not the young woman and mother she had once known. She recovered quickly, “I hope you were entertained tonight my queen.” 

“It was a most delightful feast.” She said with a fake smile. “I am awfully tired.” The woman then went to her quarters with her maidens in tow. 

She frowned. The Tully woman had always been friendly to her. She went out of her way to include her whenever they met. The queen had wanted one of her princesses to be Lady of Winterfell. The sensation that her life would change drastically increased by the second, she walked back to the Hall and watched as her husband laughed with the King. She looked over her children and found Jon laughing with Tyrion. Robb danced with Arya who laughed and twirled. Joanna danced with the Crown Prince. Cersei smiled when Jon held her hand and invited her to dance. 

Lady Stark danced with her son. “Nuncle Tyrion says you and father will go South.” Her son said with a hallow voice. 

“It is likely son.” She replied, keeping her smile for all the guests to see. 

“You will have to marry and hold Winterfell as yours now. Your father will be the Hand of the King.” He nodded and twirled her.

Cersei retired only after the king kissed a wench and slipped one of his hands beneath her skirts. She took Joanna and Arya with her. “Time for us to go to bed.” She said as she dragged a laughing Arya while Joanna curtsied and left with them.

“The Prince is so dreamy.” Joanna whispered softly. Arya did not say anything and her laughter faded. Cersei smiled at her eldest daughter. “Your father will be the Hand of the King. We will go to King’s Landing.”

Arya frowned but Joanna took the news with delight. “How wonderful.” She babbled about the court and the pleasantries of the south.

“I don’t want to go South.” Cersei expected such talk from Arya. She was seriously thinking of leaving her in Jon’s care. As lady of Winterfell she should stay with Jon but it would not do for her to leave Ned to his own devices. He did not know how to play the game. Cersei did not trust any of her kin to protect her husband. She had Jaime’s word of protection but she had to make sure Eddard thrived in King’s Landing. 

The girls settled in their quarters and she visited Bran’s rooms. He was fast asleep and safe. She worried about him. He was always climbing and she was scared to see him fall.

She retired to her quarters and waited for Ned. The first words out of his mouth did not startle her. “Robert wants his son to marry our Joanna.” Cersei nodded, she thought the notion would fill her with happiness but it only cemented the feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach. “I have accepted Robert’s offers.”

“I thought you were reticent on that matter.” She said as she divested him of his tunic. “Starks do not do well in the south.” He kissed her cheek, bringing her close to his chest. She helped him out of trousers. Cersei was not surprised in the least. Ned would accept, as he had always done when it came to Robert asking for help. Eddard Stark raised his banners and men as soon as Lyanna Stark had been “captured”. He won him the throne. Eddard fought in the Greyjoy Rebellion too, even when he had a wife and a son to take care of. Her husband accepted the position. Cersei had half a mind to convince him otherwise, to threaten him, and promise him anything if he remained in Winterfell. This was the king asking but more important than that it was Ned’s best friend. Ned could refuse.

“Jon Arryn was poisoned.” Cersei did not expect those words out of her husband’s mouth.

“Tyrion might have mentioned it earlier. Your lord father advised me against taking the position.” He said as he tried to undo her sleeping gown.

“Eddard do not go.” She gasped. He could still refuse. The more Cersei thought about it the more sense it made for her husband to not accept the position as Hand of the King. 

“I have to.” He somberly said and looked at her with big grey sad eyes. 

“You do not have to. You have to take care of your family. You will not be able to do so if you go to King’s Landing.” She replied stubbornly.

“Robert needs me now. I should have helped him earlier, instead I came back North.”

Cersei caressed his cheek, “you should not feel guilty my love. You won him the throne. You did your duty; it was time to go back North.”

Ned kissed her hands. “He asked me to be his Hand seven and ten years ago. I should have accepted. I should have helped him. You saw what he’s become.” 

Her husband could not bring himself to say the words. King Robert Baratheon was a drunkard, irresponsible, lascivious king; the wrong man to rule the Seven Kingdoms.

He kissed her gently. “I accepted my sweet. There is no turning back now my lioness.” She kissed him softly too. She kissed his chest, caressed him. Trying to memorize the lines and scars of his body. 

Ned rubbed her thighs, his hands softly made their way to her belly and he sat up with her in his lap. He snaked his fingers in her hair. Her husband smiled when he saw the emerald pieces. “You looked beautiful tonight. I could not keep my eyes away from you.” He massaged her scalp and recovered the emeralds. “You are exquisite.” Cersei moaned when he combed his fingers through her long curling hair. 

“My love.” She said when he hugged her and smelled her hair. “You smell delicious. What have you done to me lioness?”

“I love you Ned.” She sighed, grasping his member gently, guiding him to her entrance with the practice and ease of years sharing these intimate moments.

Lord Stark gently pushed her to the bed and pulled her legs apart. He touched her; it was amazing; after years of couplings Cersei still so receptive to his fingers, his tongue, his words. She bit his bottom gently, just like he liked it. She pulled on his hair. Ned thrust inside of her and kept a slow rhythm they had discovered they liked. Cersei loved watching her husband become undone inside of her. His eyes became an impossible shade of dark grey; his voice was raspy. Ned chanted her name as he dissolved inside of her. She felt powerful whenever she brought him to world stopping orgasms. Ned stayed inside of her and played with her little button. She felt her thighs quiver as he used his fingers and tried to harden again inside of her. 

“Fuck Cersei.” He said as he slipped outside of her and teased her entrance with his now hard cock. She whined when he entered her slowly decadently again. She exploded with him inside of her. Ned smiled, he pushed into her slowly, maddeningly slow. “You feel incredible lioness.” She bit his jaw teasingly. Her husband pushed and pulled with an increasing gentle force that left her breathless. 

Cersei Stark had experienced the many different aspects of this man. At first he had been Lord Stark, the stranger who did his duty and claimed her once or twice per week until she claimed Jon as hers. He had been Eddard, her husband who gave her a son and respected her. He had been Ned, husband, friend and lover who claimed her every night since she gave birth to Robb. A man who studied her body and became proficient in the arts of pleasuring her. Ned had his moods, when she first came to his bed he had been methodical, intent to at least afford her some pleasure in the arranged marriage bed. When the children came, he became more attentive, possessive, giving and when she finally told him she loved him he left no boundaries. She remembered the first time in the spring pools. Ned had not had any boundaries with her anymore. There was no more hesitancy only a burning desire to learn more about each other. This man above her had made love to her in so many different and delicious ways she had a hard time remembering all the nights she had woken up aroused with the mere thought of his hands in her body. 

She closed her eyes and kissed him because she would shout and beg him to make love to her again and again. “Ned.” She felt her whole body give away to the delicious tingling and heat that her husband provoked in her.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

The royals were to stay for two to three weeks. Ned, Joanna, Bran, Robb and Tommen would travel south with the royal party. Cersei and Arya would travel later once Jon was secured as lord of Winterfell. She had argued with Ned, she wanted to leave with him but her husband did not heed her advice. “Our son needs to find a wife and take care of Winterfell. You must make sure he is prepared for his responsibilities.”

Cersei arranged things around the castle and with their impeding move she had less time to watch over all her children. As a result Arya managed to run wild and free. She met with her eldest brothers and the prince every time they trained unbeknownst to Lady Stark. She was too busy planning and sorting the household. The queen and propriety kept her busy too. Lady Sansa, Joanna, the princesses and the Queen met for needlework every day. She had not forced Arya to be with them because it was plain that the queen resented the girl. Cersei could see the hatred in her eyes. Ever since Robert called her by Lyanna’s name Catelyn took an unhealthy aversion to Arya. Lady Stark did not like that look in the woman’s eyes and preferred Arya occupied herself watching over Brandon or sorting things for the move. Cersei tasked the girl with chores to keep her busy. Arya, deftly delegated those chores to Jeyne Poole or the other servants. Arya had assured them all that if anyone breathed a word to Lady Stark she personally would make sure to dispense from their services in Winterfell. Lady Stark needed to attend the tedious needle sessions; she had to make sure to keep the network of friends and connections alive. 

Catelyn Baratheon was a bitter woman who was disgusted by her husband. Her only joy was to see her daughters married. She was close to marrying all of them. Myrcella was dead. Anna was engaged to the Highgarden heir. Cersei thought about Jon, he needed a wife. His father had been bedded and wedded when he was ten and seven years. Alayne would be the reasonable option although Cassana was younger and prettier. 

Lady Stark tested the waters once the young princesses, Lady Sansa and Joanna left to see Lady. The king and Ned had reached an agreement Joanna would marry Prince Gendry after his seventeenth name day next year. The engagement had not been properly announced yet and the parties were not supposed to know. Cersei kept her mouth shut. She remembered how aunt Genna and father promised her Rhaegar Targaryen only to be slighted when he married Elia Martell of Dorne. 

“I have not been to King’s Landing since before king Robert won the crown.” She started. 

Catelyn nodded. “It’s changed quite a bit or so Jaime and Tyrion say.” Lady Stark was determined to gain some of the ground she had lost. It puzzled her greatly that Catelyn acted so aloof when she had been so naïve and friendly to her. 

“Court is rather dull. Same old gossip and people.” The queen replied half-heartedly doing her needlework with perfection.

She quieted and continued her work. She gasped when a direwolf pup ran inside the room. It was Brandon’s. She heard her son came in running. “I’m sorry mother.” He said and tried to get the pup from under the table. 

“Bran.” She said, her boy did not mind the queen. “Come on puppy, come out, just come out. I will not bathe you anymore.” Her son pleaded with his pup.

“Brandon Stark. You get up and get your direwolf out of here.” She hissed to her child. Bran frowned and then looked at the queen. The boy’s face would have brought a smile to his face in any other situation. “I’m sorry your Grace.” He said and managed to grab his puppy and run out of the room.

Cersei smiled tightly. “He’s quite a handful. Not as spirited as Robb but a handful nonetheless. He likes to climb things. I’m half afraid he’ll fall one of these days.

The queen laughed, a real laugh. “You named him after Brandon. That is one thing I do not envy. Girls do not climb. They are ladies and are not as forceful as boys.” Cersei laughed, she clearly had not lived with Arya Stark. 

“That is true your Grace.” They spoke about the girls then. Catelyn became lively once she spoke about her daughters. “Anna will be quite happy in Highgarden. Alayne’s hand has been petitioned by prince Quentyn of House Martell and Cassana, well she’s still fairly young as is your Joanna.”

Lady Stark saw her window of opportunity. “Princess Alayne’s betrothal, is it final?”  
The queen shook her head. “Robert refuses to strike an offer. His bastard is rather fond of Alayne and Cassana.”

There it was, the source of more bitterness. Gendry Baratheon, the first of his name. “The king dotes on his son, pays him more attention than he ever did my girls. Myrcella, my poor girl died of shame and sadness. She would have given her life for Robert to look at her with a shred of the pride he shows that bastard. She died because of that boy. It should have been him dead and not my princess.” Catelyn said with a hatred Cersei never thought the woman capable of. 

“The bastard can barely tolerate Robert. I have to say I take a great pleasure out of the disdain the boy shows.” The queen’s dam had broken and she was bursting to let all of her bitterness out. 

The royals had been in her home for two weeks and this was the first time Catelyn Tully looked at her as the friend she had years ago. "You must be wondering why Robert decided to have your husband as the Hand of the King."

The lady of the house felt uncomfortable. This was dangerous territory. Long forgotten was her desire to have princess Alayne or Cassana as Jon's wife. This was part of game she had not properly played in almost two decades. "I don't presume to understand such things your grace." The blond said with a meek tone.

The Tully woman looked at her as if evaluating the veracity of the declaration. She passed the test, "Robert despises Stannis." She laughed bitterly. "Our king suffers because his bastard son loves the uncle better than the father."

Cersei gasped accordingly. "I remember when that awful wretch arrived to the castle. I was insulted as should be any proper lady. I failed in my duty and the gods decided to punish me so. Robert brought his bastard for me to take care of. I refused of course but the King needed an heir and Stannis was not fit to be king or so Robert said. Jon Arryn brought that brute to my home. Robert took a liking to the boy. He resembles him quite a lot. Renly and Stannis love the bastard too. My girls are trueborn and their uncles have never taken any interest in them. The bastard spent most of his time with Stannis and his scarred little daughter. Robert despises the fact that the wretch loves Stannis better and banished his brother to Dragon Stone."

She nodded, a long time ago Cersei Stark railed and threatened Ned Stark to leave for Casterly Rock and cause an outrage if he kept young Jon Snow in her legitimate household. It was so long ago. "To add salt to my wounds this callous, unrefined boy became Robert's main concern. I saw as my Myrcella suffered because the little attention her father gave her vanished."

"Gentry Baratheon, first of his name." Catelyn intoned with a mocking voice. "He is nothing more than a bastard, bad blood, born out of lust and broken promises." The Queen stated with undiluted hatred. Catelyn was gone, replaced by a hard woman. A woman who resented her husband and could not stand the sight of him.

Cersei reached for her hands, "we must make the best of our circumstances."

The queen stiffly patted her hands. "As always correct lady Stark. You will enjoy the south and its diversions I'm sure. I am truly sorry for your Joanna."

Cersei frowned briefly, sensing a bit of a threat. Catelyn must have sensed her trepidation. "She will have to endure a Baratheon man. Be it Robert, Stannis, Renly or that wretched bastard. They are not worthy of you daughter's beauty and her innocence." The red headed monarch intoned. 

The queen knew about the engagement. She was not pleased in the slightest. “Do you remember when the children were little and we wished to join our houses?” Catelyn offered. 

Cersei nodded. “How ironic? Your daughter and the bastard will join Baratheon and Stark. I wished the king would make an engagement contract for one of our daughters but he decided the Starks would do better with a queen. My princesses are not for the likes of his best and most trusted friend. They will be sold like cattle for alliances as we once were.” The queen dispelled all queries then.

She dared speak her name once more and offer friendship words again. “Catelyn. My Ned had nothing to do with your husband’s decisions.” She offered with the most conciliating tone she could muster. 

“Of course he did not. Eddard’s mistake was not to refuse when he could.” The queen said coldly. It was a threat. Cersei politely ordered refreshments. They drank lemon water and continued their labor in silence. The lady of the house had much to think about that night. 

She waited for her husband in their quarters, thinking about King’s Landing and all the threats. She did not hear him come in and only noticed his presence when he held her. “Your father threatened me.” Cersei stiffened. “What did he say?”

Her husband ran his fingers over her barely cladded belly. “Lord Lannister remarked on my lack of experience and the fact that there had been better and more assured candidates for such honorable position.”

“Maybe you should not have accepted.” She said turning to him. “Catelyn Baratheon hates the prince. She is resentful and blames the boy and Robert’s lack of love for her daughters as the reason for princess’s Myrcella’s death.”

“Robert is my friend. He needs my help. Jon Arryn’s death was not of old age.” He mused. “We have discussed this time and time again. I will not be swayed lioness.” He stated. “Jon Arryn was murdered.”

“You do dot know that for an absolute fact.” She fetched for clues in his words. 

“I do not but I trust my instincts and they tell me Tyrion did not lie.” Her husband trusted the Imp. Tyrion had spent the majority of his visit with Ned and Robb. Her brother and her son’s visits to the brothel did not amuse her. Jon thankfully was more reserved. Her eldest was busy taking over the estate and its obligations. 

Cersei looked into his grey eyes. "You should not go alone." Her husband frowned. "I can take care of myself and our children." Ned stated while kissing her cheek. “You have to stay with Jon. I should have taught him more. He’s not ready lioness.”

She kissed his chest. “You were not ready either.” 

He sighed and massaged her shoulders. “I had you,” his tone simple and honest. 

Cersei felt the usual butterflies in her stomach when he reminded her she was needed. She kissed him slowly. “We’ll have to find him another wife.” She played with his chest hair.

“Let him manage the estate first. He will have time for wives once he’s settled as Lord Stark.” Ned pointed out reasonably.

She let her husband play with her hair and then kiss her neck. He was done talking. The woman laughed when he nipped at her collarbones and tried to rip her nightgown. “Why must you insist in wearing these in bed?” He asked annoyed at the lack of skin contact.

“It is chilly in the North my lord husband.” She said with an innocent voice. Eddard loved it when she acted coy. He growled and attacked her. She kept her moans and whimpers low, lest anyone in the castle heard them. It was a big estate but it was not proper to have such interaction when they had Winterfell full of Kingsmen and the Royals.

The next morning Cersei did not expect her lord father to ask her to his solar. Lord Tywin Lannister as was his custom commandeered from his quarters. He disposed and ruled from his rooms in Winterfell. Ned hated the entitlement the eldest Lannister showed. Cersei of course served as buffer. Tyrion would only antagonize and Jaime. Well, Jaime did not care to speak with his brother in law at all. Her father did not dine with them or spend any time with her progeny. She was glad; it had been enough that first night after the feast when she had to suffer through his silences. Her children tried to know their grandfather. Jon attempted to engage him but Tywin did not answer any questions. She had fisted her utensils; it was a blessing when he ignored Robb and Tommen too. Bran was too scared to even look at the older man in the eyes. Arya frowned all the time and Joanna only looked at her plate that night. 

“Father.” She said as greeting and only moved when her lord father motioned to the chair in front of him. He was writing something or other and made her wait half an hour before addressing her. Cersei was uncomfortable enough because she had not forgotten the rules when it came to interacting with Tywin. Lord Lannister did not care for anyone’s time but his own. He existed in an arrogant sphere in which he was privileged. She waited with repressed anger because she had not felt so despondent in years. 

Finally Lord Lannister looked up from his papers and looked at her with disappointment. “I thought I had taught you better. I see the bastard is still alive. He’s older, stronger, not easily murdered.” He said with that calm tone of his.

She remained passive, for once because he hated when his children did not answer and because she was scared. Her father was ruthless. He was infallible. The man had his eyes on her son. 

“You are weak Cersei. We are lions, we do not adopt wolflings but you defied nature. Do not fret; the bastard is safe. He poses no threat for me as Westeros believes him to be my kin. He might be useful yet.” The man said calculatingly. 

“I have called you for another matter.” He coldly looked at her. “I hear Joanna will be queen.”

Cersei nodded. “Eddard and the king have reached an agreement on the matter.”

“She is beautiful. You have produced capable children it seems. Smart, willful, the lot of them; Joanna and Arya could cement our legacy in Dorne and the Crownlands.” He remarked. She looked down at her feet once more. Arya would never set a foot in Dorne if she had any say in the matter. She would stay North with her and Jon.

“Lord Stark will not last as Hand of the King.” The man’s eyes glinted. Her father had abandoned his previous musings and reached the purpose of her visit.

“Is that a threat father?” Cersei’s voice was fierce.

“It is a fact.” The man did not break their stare.

“Ned is the King’s eldest and best friend.” She said with the same calculating voice her father used.

“Precisely why he will not last as Hand of the King.” The man offered.

Cersei grew weary of the conversation. “I don’t understand the purpose of our discussion.”

“Your brother refuses to leave the Kingsguard. I have no heirs. It is his duty to our family to produce me an heir and continue the Lannister name. You have a strange hold on your brother Jaime. Make him leave that useless guard and I will protect your Northerman.” The man said as explanation.

She smirked, for the first time she had defeated lord Tywin in something. She had Jaime’s protection. There was nothing this man could offer compared to that. Jaime had given his word to her that he would protect Ned. “You have an heir, Tyrion.” 

“Do as I say Cersei.” Her father was used to giving orders and people following them. 

Cersei was drunk with her assumed advantage and victory and relished the words that came out of her mouth. “No.” A simple monosyllabic word that expressed everything she had wanted to say to this man for years. 

Her father shifted his face to an unmovable mask of ice. “You will do as I say. I am your father and you will do your duty to our family.”

She remained impassive, “Father, you must not understand your words. You sold me to Eddard Stark. I bore him heirs; I am part of the North. My duty is to my husband and sons, all four of them. I am Lady Cersei Stark of Winterfell.” She said with a smile. “By the rules of our kingdoms I am no longer yours to order. My husband became my owner the moment you sold me like a brood mare to the North seven and ten years ago.” Cersei used the rhetoric Westerosi septons fed Westerosi women. 

The lady of the castle left the solar with a radiant smile on her face. Father did not call after her. She left with a triumphant feeling in her belly. Tywin Lannister offered her a protection that Jaime had willingly given. Her twin brother would aid her. Jaime could not break promises to her. He would keep his oath.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Tonight was the perfect night to announce the Prince’s engagement to her daughter. It was two days before her husband and her children left for the capital. The Starks hosted an intimate dinner with her family and the royals. Lord Tywin deigned them with his presence this time. He looked sour but the corner of his lips lifted a little when he graced eyes upon Joanna and Arya. Lady Stark wore a white and grey dress, adorned with myrish lace her aunt Genna sent her. She looked radiant. Ned wore his usual attire and had acceded to trim his beard into some semblance of propriety. Joanna was too smart for her own good and had inklings, as what would happen that night. Cersei saw as her eldest daughter joined them in the hall. She wore a golden gown, beautiful as she was. There was no doubt she was the prettiest woman in attendance. The princesses were dressed well too. The queen could be called beautiful when she was not frowning or looking at her husband and prince with disgust. Lady Sansa looked beautiful too. She wore a robin egg blue gown that accented the red of her hair and the blue of her eyes. Arya wore a black dress and her hair was neatly plaited. She looked bothered and bored. Cersei knew that Arya would have given her left arm to be anywhere else. She had recently discovered her little ploys to get around from packing and her meetings with Jon and Robb. Arya Stark had not left her mother’s side in four days. Cersei treated her like a well cared for prisoner or so the young woman claimed. Lady Stark had glared and reminded her that she could do with her as she pleased since she lived under her roof, ate her food and trained with her bows, arrows, and swords and used her servants. “You will behave. We had an agreement Arya, you failed to comply, be grateful you will travel with me and not your father. He grows weary of your intents to do as you please. Your father is fair and forgiving to an extent but he does not tolerate outright defiance. What would he do if I tell him about your detours?” 

“Mother you wouldn’t?” Arya asked softly. “I would, if you disobey once more I will. He will take away all your lessons and I will not interfere.” Cersei replied. The girl had obeyed then. Arya was willful but so was her mother. 

Cersei smiled at Arya who mockingly smiled back. Her sons were dressed and seated around the big table. Tyrion and Jaime were present as well. Her brothers chatted amicably with Robb and Jon. Tommen and Bran held court with the princesses. Lord Stark gave up his usual place at the head of the table to his long time friend and king. He sat at the right of the head, with Cersei by his side. The Queen preferred to sit as far possible from the king and the prince who would of course be seated at the left of his father. The attendees waited on the prince and his father. 

King Robert Baratheon and the crown prince appeared twenty minutes later. The king sat down and the courses started. Cersei glanced at her father who was seated in front of her. The man was inscrutably quiet. He had not mentioned their incident the past week. She acted as if the meeting had never happened. Tyrion told a jape because Jon, Robb guffawed while Arya tried hard to mask her laughter as a dainty cough. Lady Sansa frowned, clearly not amused by Tyrion’s japes. Tommen made mooneyes at princess Cassana who seemed delighted by her son. Bran ate his food silently. He did not wish to be here. He would have loved to be in the stables with Rodrick or hearing stories from Old Nan. 

The meals and the conversation flowed. The king drank, as was his custom. She noticed that he drank more now and could not be called sober. He had a skin of wine near him at all times. Soon it was time to celebrate the announcements of the night. “Ned has accepted to be my Hand. We depart for King’s Landing the day after tomorrow.” The king said with a smile. Her brothers and father congratulated Ned with a grim face. Cersei tried to look cheery but she could not deny the fact that her husband was not Hand material. He was too honorable, too good to play the game. He would fail, his honor, his trust and his belief that people had honor would be his downfall. 

She kissed his hand. Jaime looked away from that show of affection his eyes were pained but there was no fury anymore only a quiet sadness, a sort of resignation. The king clapped Ned’s back and prince Gendry smiled good-naturedly. 

“Ned and I have fought together, won the throne and we would have been brothers had my Lyanna lived.” Cersei saw Catelyn Tully grip her utensils a little to hard. “We will now join houses. Gendry and Joanna will wed next year after the prince’s seventeenth nameday. 

Joanna’s eyes sparkled with happiness. Cersei smiled well naturedly until she heard the prince. “No.” The prince said with deadpan voice. King Robert frowned and so did Ned. Cersei watched as Joanna’s face crumbled. “You are lovely my lady and any man would be happy to take you as his wife but I can’t.” Gendry addressed her daughter who had tears in her green eyes. 

Jaime, Robb, and strangely enough Tywin glared at the prince. Ned remained seated and impassive. Jon pushed Robb down, her son rose, no doubt to defend her sister’s honor. The heir to Winterfell wore an angry scowl but knew better than to create a scene before time.

Robert bellowed. “What do you mean you can’t? You will marry Ned’s daughter. There is not a worthier house for the crown.” Cersei could was silent as was the rest of the party. The king ranted, her brothers and sons looked as if they wanted to be anywhere else but there. Father looked mildly intrigued while Arya did not look up from her lap. 

Gendry remained silent and looked toward the queen’s niece. Lady Sansa looked elated; Cersei had the irrational need to throttle the little tramp. Catelyn looked at Robert with flinty eyes. “This is an outrage. Ned, I apologize. He will marry your daughter. He is my son and he will marry your Joanna.”

The prince stood up and spoke once more. “I am truly sorry but I can’t.” He addressed Ned. Robb was on his feet too and so was Jon who for the first time looked ready to kill and had decided to not restrain his younger brother. “I will marry you daughter.” He said looking towards Sansa again. Cersei understood then. Gendry Baratheon was not looking at Sansa but at Arya. “I want Arya to be my wife.” 

Cersei gasped, Joanna left the room in tears. Arya left the hall too. Jon and Robb sat down, their faces shocked. Father’s face was back to his usual mix of annoyance and boredom but there was something else. He looked scheming. He stood up left for his quarters no doubt. 

King Robert looked at Ned and then at his son. “We must speak privately.” Ned nodded and led them to his study. Her sons looked at her for explanations. She could not give them one. “I apologize your grace. It is essential I speak with my girls.” She made her excuses and left the hall. Cersei ran after her daughters, fearing the repercussions of this revelation. Her daughters did not have the easiest relationship; they were too different, too stubborn and proud. Something like this could create an abysm in their relationship. She could hear some of the mutterings in the hall. 

She went to Joanna’s rooms and found Arya outside rapping on the door. “Joanna please let me in.” The girl had tears on her eyes and hit the door with all her might. Cersei placed a hand on her right shoulder. “Let me sweetling.”

“Joanna, open this door.” She used a no-nonsense voice. The young woman did not open the door not until Cersei asked Arya to go to her quarters. “Arya, it is best if you leave for your rooms. I will speak with you later.” Her youngest daughter shook her head. “Do as I say.” She ordered. “She’ll hate me forever.” The young girl said with a sad voice. 

Cersei had not heard Arya that sad, not since Eddard told an eight-year-old Arya that she couldn’t be a knight. The woman knocked once again, “Your sister has gone to her quarters.” The door gave away to a crying Joanna who hugged her tight.

“I hate her. I hate her. She ruins everything.” Joanna cried desperately. 

Cersei remembered long time ago, a tourney. She had been close to Arya’s age, perhaps younger when Rhaegar Targaryen visited the Westerlands. The young prince had taken a hold of her and for a few hours she forgot all about Jaime. She believed herself in love with the royal. She had been so happy because at the end of the night she would be engaged to the Crown Prince. He was handsome, young, smart and powerful. She had been crushed by the end of that fateful night. A prophecy had been made and the Crown had rejected her. Elia Martell of Dorne was to be queen. Cersei Lannister cried in the arms of her aunt Genna and then later that night raged and cried bitter tears of heartbreak and failure. 

“My poor kitten.” She wiped her tears and let Joanna rest her head in her lap just like when she was a little girl and they waited for Ned and the boys to come back from hunting trips. Arya would be busily creating havoc. Joanna was a sweet child, a gentle soul so very trusting, like her Ned. 

Joanna sobbed. “I thought he liked me. He likes me but Arya took him away from me. She’s horrible and I hate her. I hate her.” The girl cried more. Cersei let her cry. When Joanna was exhausted from crying she spoke again. “How is this your sister’s fault?”

Joanna stood up from her place in her mother’s lap and looked at her with an outraged expression in her young beautiful face. “She knows. All I have ever wanted was to be queen. She knows I love prince Gendry.”

Cersei looked at her with sad eyes. “Do you love the boy or the idea of the boy?”

“I don’t understand mother. You are supposed to be on my side, not hers but you love her more than me. Don’t you?” Joanna said angrily.

Lady Stark hugged her. “I love you as much as I love your sister and all your brothers.” Joanna sobbed and hugged her. “Why doesn’t he like me? I’m more beautiful. Arya is not even a proper lady why her and not me?”

“We don’t get to choose who we love my love.” She kissed her forehead. Cersei was still taller than her little girls. 

“Let me tell you a story about me and your father.” She said quietly. 

“Your father arranged your marriage to father. I know that story mother. It does not help in this case.” Joanna said stubbornly. 

Cersei smiled, “This is not about me and Ned finding happiness and building a marriage and love.” She had never told this story to any of her children.

“Joanna, when I was young, around your age. My father promised me I would be queen.” Her daughter looked at her with puzzled eyes. 

Cersei pulled her blond hair back and dried her tears with a piece of cloth. “My father was the Hand of the King and he hosted a tourney in the Westerlands. He reassured me that at night my engagement to Prince Rhaegar Targaryen would be announced.” She remembered fondly, the excitement of that day, not even Tyrion and his antics could put a damper on her mood.

“I waited patiently and enjoyed that day. Everyone in attendance knew. They all knew I was going to be queen. The marriage to prince Rhaegar to me was all Westeros spoke about. The announcement came and I was ready to take my place by the handsome prince when King Aerys announced Elia Martell would be queen. I was humiliated. I felt all the stares and ran back to my quarters much like you did tonight. I don’t blame you my love. I know it hurts but it will pass.”

Joanna looked at her with sad eyes. “This is different mother. You did not know the your prince. You hardly spoke with him. I love prince Gendry. I thought he loved me too.” 

Cersei doubted it but did not want her daughter to stubbornly fight her. “I thought I was in love with someone else before I married your father.” Joanna frowned slightly. She needed to tell her daughter this because otherwise the little gentle soul would harbor a grudge against her younger sister. 

“He was everything I wanted. All I could think of, but forbidden for me. The only man I could never love publicly. I gave myself to him.” Her daughter shook her head and removed her hands from her mother. 

“It was the biggest mistake I made. I married your father soon after. He knew I was not pure and he remained silent. I was foolish Joanna. I blamed father, I even blamed your father for the loss of my first love.”

“I don’t understand mother. What does this have to do with anything? Arya stole him from me. She knew I love him. She knew I wanted to be queen.” Joanna said mournfully. Cersei thought then she might have said too much. She wanted the young girl to understand about resentment and bitter disappointments but Joanna was set against blaming Arya.

“I don’t want you to resent your sister like I did my father. I don’t want you to hate your sister. Would you be happy with the prince? Knowing that he longs for another woman. If there is something I know about Baratheon men is that they are obsessive. Robert idolizes your dead aunt because he could never have her. Do you want to be like queen Catelyn?” Joanna gasped. “Could you see yourself living in the shadow of your sister? Think about your life my love. Every time you lay with him, think what it would be like hearing your sister’s name in his mouth. Think about when your sister visits and he stares a little too long a little too hard. When the time comes and he cannot stop thinking about Arya under him and finally takes her?” Cersei was brutally honest.

Joanna cried but something in her eyes changed. “Arya would never let him. She’s strong and could fight him.” She said determined. 

“He will be king. You are not a stupid little girl. I did not raise you to be stupid. Joanna he does not love you. He wants Arya and he will have Arya. His father started a war because of a woman he wanted. If he is anything like his father he will find Arya and will not stop. I saw it in his eyes.”

Joanna looked at her mother with hurt, sad eyes, and then spoke “The queen’s always sad and she looked at Arya with hatred.”

“Everyone remarks how much your sister resembles your dead aunt.” Cersei answered. “In these past few weeks did your sister try to get to know the prince?”

“No, she avoided him. She spent all her time with Tommen and Bran. Away from Robb and Jon.” The blond girl replied, with a shuddering breath, calmer, more rational. Joanna was a lady and wanted to have a household filled with love. It seemed to sink that she would not achieve it with the prince. The girl was smart; she would come to forgive her sister. Joanna Stark was the beautiful sister, everyone said so. She was not used to being passed over Arya but she would understand eventually. 

“Your sister is not to blame my kitten.” Joanna looked doubtful. “I want to be alone mother.” Her daughter said and wiped her face. Cersei kissed her forehead. “Listen to your mother. There will be another man, more handsome and just for you. A man that has no eyes for anyone else but you.” Joanna sobbed, it was what she wanted. Cersei could not go to her other daughter until this one was abed and sleeping. It wouldn’t do well for ruminate and harbor more ill feelings toward Arya. Cersei thought about how much a young girl could hate their siblings. She had despised Tyrion all her life. Joanna did not look at her again. She undressed and went to bed. The older woman stayed until the girl fell asleep from crying. 

Lady Stark went to Arya’s quarters. The door was open. She stepped in and heard voices. Arya was by the windowsill with the prince. They were in a heated argument. Cersei remained behind the door. She was able to hear their conversation. 

“You are so stupid.” Arya whispered enraged. 

“M’ lady, I’m sorry My lady.” The prince apologized profusely. 

“I am not your lady. I am not a lady. Joanna is a lady even Sansa is one. I don’t want to marry you stupid.” Arya said angrily, crying of anger. 

The prince remained quiet. “You like it when I kiss you.” The young boy said with the confidence that young men in their prime have. Eddard, Jaime, Robert, even Tyrion with his whores had that air of superiority; the knowledge that a female responded well to their touch. 

“I do not.” Arya said a little higher than intended. The prince shushed her. “I don’t think your father or brothers would think well of me if they discovered me in your room.” 

“Please, please, you have to marry Joanna. It is all she ever wanted. She will make a good wife; give you beautiful children. My sister is beautiful, graceful and would make an excellent ruler.” Arya said with a stark honesty only seen in her father and Jon. 

“You are correct my lady. She is a proper lady and is beautiful but she isn’t you. To me you are more beautiful. I can stop thinking of you; your eyes, I saw you fighting your brothers and I thought you were formidable. I have seen you practice with Tommen, everyday. I had to lie to your brothers to see you.” He said sweetly. 

“Keep away from me. I’ll use Needle on you.” Arya said. Cersei heard rustling. 

“Then I saw you the first night, in the feast. You had flowers in your hair, and you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life. King Robert says you look like your aunt Lyanna and that she was even more beautiful but that can’t be possible because you are more beautiful than any other woman I have ever met.” Gendry, first of his name said poetically. The boy had a way with words; it was a wonder since Cersei had scarcely heard him string two sentences together since she met him three weeks ago. 

“I don’t want to be your wife. I want to be a warrior, fight, and travel. I don’t want to be queen.”

“I don’t want to be king. We could run away. You and me, we can be sellswords and travel the seven kingdoms.” Gendry said honestly, desperately, his tone begging. 

“Could we go to Braavos, across the Narrow Sea?” Arya asked excitedly. 

Gendry laughed. “We can go anywhere. We’ll be free, no more houses, no more rules. We’ll sleep in ships and alleys. Never come back to Westeros.” 

“I won’t see mother, father, or any of my siblings?” She asked and her voice deflated. 

“Well no. I don’t think lord Stark will welcome me with open arms after I abduct his youngest daughter.” Gendry offered with a sarcastic voice. 

“He would kill you. Robb, Jon and even mother would join him.” Arya laughed. 

“I can’t see Lady Stark wielding a weapon.” Arya giggled. Cersei frowned; her daughter was not prone to giggles. 

She could not hear any more sounds. Cersei made her entrance then. “I am far more progressive than my husband. It would be a shame if I had to call him for this. He would not like to see his four and ten-year-old daughter being so ardently embraced by a boy who is not her kin. I suggest you return to your quarters my prince. I seem to recall they are located in the other side of the castle.” 

The prince paled and bowed before leaving the room. “How long has this been going on?” Cersei asked as she invited her daughter to sit on the bed by her. 

“There is nothing going on mother.” Arya said formally.

“I have been too busy, your father, you and your siblings moving to King’s Landing have kept me far too distracted.” Cersei spoke more to herself than to her young daughter. 

“Do you like him?” She asked clearly, her eyes searching for any clues that would make her understand the happenings of tonight.

“No, yes, I don’t know. I don’t want to be queen. That’s stupid, silly, for girls like Joanna. I am not a lady. I can’t be like her or you mother.” Arya said stubbornly but her eyes, those grey eyes inherited from her Ned told another tale.

Cersei’s green eyes bore into her daughter’s grey eyes. “But you are a girl. Gendry is attractive, strong, and he’s paid attention to you.”

“I don’t like boys.” Arya said stubbornly.

Lady Stark smiled, “So you like girls then.” She teased. 

“No.” Arya said loudly. “I don’t want to like him. Joanna will hate me forever. She will never forgive me.”

“So you like him then.” Cersei said, trying to understand the girl.

“He’s fine I suppose. I can’t be a knight. Father and you said that I would have to marry eventually.” She mumbled, without looking up to her. 

The blond woman hugged her daughter. This must be so confusing for her, three moons ago she was only Arya and wanted to defeat knights and see the world and now a prince wanted to marry her. “I don’t want to be queen. I don’t want to go to King’s Landing. I want to run away. I want to be a boy and fight and never care about dresses, princes and households.” Arya cried and Cersei wiped her tears. 

“You are a woman. A young woman flowered, who is very capable of wielding any weapons but a woman nonetheless.” Arya pulled a face. “Do not frown my little love. Embrace your womanhood. Women are more powerful than you ever think my love. We must submit and bear certain humiliations but we are stronger and better equipped than most men. You shall accept the Prince’s proposal. I know you Arya and inside all that bravado there is a young woman, a girl who is intrigued by Gendry’s words and who likes the boy with the black hair and piercing blue eyes.”

“Mother, I don’t want to.” Arya continued with that obstinate streak of hers. “Well then. Don’t marry the prince. Live here in Winterfell until you are old. Your father will certainly not force you to marry nor will I but he will not let you be like the Mormonts or this Brienne of Tarth you like so much. I will not be able to plead for you either. Do not think your father will embrace your antics all your life. He loves you and still sees the little wild girl you once were. You are not a girl anymore; you are a woman. You will not shame house Stark or Lannister for that matter. You will grow old, childless and live by the hospitality of any of your siblings.” Arya looked angry. Cersei did not flinch, raise her voice or altered her demeanor in any manner.

The young girl did not say a word. Cersei then took her hands and spoke. “Or you could be queen. You can have power. Rule them all. Queens do not only manage a castle. Arya, little wolf,” Cersei kissed her hands. “You would counsel your husband the king. You would rule alongside him; if and only if you play your cards right my love.”

“I don’t want power.” Arya said with a tremulous voice, as if convincing herself. “Besides queen Catelyn does not rule. All she does is knit and scowl.” Arya replied, trying to undermine her mother’s arguments. 

“The queen is weak. She is not like Joanna, you and me. We are strong, proud and were born to be great. You think Joanna is like me but she resembles your father more in character. You do not think you want power but you do. You are a Stark but you are also a Lannister and above all you are my daughter.” Cersei kissed her forehead. “I don’t want Joanna to hate me.” Arya mumbled again. 

“She could never hate you. You are sisters, and Joanna is not really capable of hatred.” This time it was Cersei who tried to convince herself.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Robin Arryn, Lord of the Vale was dead. The raven reached Winterfell hours after the royal engagement was announced. Sansa Arryn wept in the privacy of her quarters, if she ever did. The little dove was perfection, a great lady in the making as was her Joanna, who took her mother’s advice and faced her rejection with poise and alacrity. The blond girl did not speak to her sister however. Cersei thought it could have gone worse. Due to the news and also because king Robert wanted to hunt once more the royal party and the Lannisters delayed their trip south for another two weeks.

Cersei had asked Joanna if she wanted to stay with her. They would leave together. 

“Thank you mother but I will go with father.” Joanna said formally. 

“It would be best if you stayed.” She tried to convince her. 

“Nothing will change mother. Arya will marry the prince. I have come to understand that.” Cersei had been surprised by her mature attitude. The girl had always been reasonable but this was nothing short of unbelievable even for a gentle soul like hers. 

Lady Stark feared subterfuge. “What had brought this change in you my sweet?”

Joanna looked at her with honest green eyes. “Grandfather.”

“I don’t understand.” She waited for an explanation. Joanna told her everything, “He called me the morning after the king announced the betrothal.”

“Grandfather saw me crying when I walked for breakfast and lead me to his study.” Joanna explained. Cersei must have looked surprised because her daughter smiled. 

“I was scared at first but then he told me to sit and I did.”

“You are too beautiful to cry for unmannered boys. You are a lioness of the rock. Lionesses are proud and do not cry because a stag does not like them. We are lions and we feast on stags and other lesser animals.” Joanna tried to make an impersonation of Tywin Lannister. 

“I laughed and he told me I was just as beautiful as grandmother once was. He invited me to Casterly Rock.” Joanna said proudly. 

Cersei was speechless. Her father must be scheming again. “I thought Grandfather was ill tempered and rude when he first visited but he is not. He told me stories about our family and we he was young. He implied I should not tell anyone but I trust you very much mother.”

Lady Stark liked this tale less and less. “So you have forgiven your sister then.” She asked cautiously. 

“Grandfather said that Arya was better suited for prince Gendry. He believes they have matching temperaments. He thinks I would do better with a well-mannered lord and I agree.” 

“Oh mother, it still hurts. I am sure you can relate. I will not lie to you. It hurts deeply that he does not love me. but you were correct. He will never be for me. After I spoke with grandfather I thought about his words and yours. I saw the prince look at Arya and I understood what you said. He will never look at me in that way.” Joanna said sadly and cried. 

“Oh kitten.” Cersei said and hugged her. Joanna hugged her hard. “I’m still very angry and I don’t like Arya much.” Cersei tried to plead her case. “Don’t mother. I know it is not entirely her fault but it is how I feel.” Joanna then pulled away from the hug. 

“Grandfather likes Arya too. He only likes granddaughters it seems.” Joanna smiled. Cersei was puzzled once more.

“I saw them speaking the other day. Of course I do not speak to her so I left before they could see me. They were walking around the gardens.”

Cersei watches as Joanna left. Tommen called her to see some dog pups. Her boy was trying to cheer his twin. 

She walked in the general direction of the gardens. She did not have a good feeling about these meetings his father had with her daughters. Tywin was plotting and that was not good for anyone. 

She heard them as they walked. Arya wore a simple dress and fretted around it. 

“I have to say your mother liked dresses far more than you. In that respect you are not alike.” Tywin said as they walked. Surprisingly Arya held his arm and they walked hand in hand. 

“Well, yes, mother is far more beautiful too. She and Joanna love dresses.” Arya said drolly.

Tywin smiled. “You remind me of her when she was your age.”

“She was always impulsive, too smart for her own good.” Father said. 

“I don’t understand why did you choose to have these walks grandfather. You should be speaking with Jon, Robb or even Tommen.” Arya said calculatingly.

Father remained silent. Arya pressed on. “I know you like Joanna too. I saw when you smiled at her. Is it because she looks like grandmother?” 

Cersei wanted to rescue her daughter from the lion’s jaws then. Father did not speak of mother. Jaime and her had known mother but Tyrion never knew her. Her baby brother asked about her all the time when he was a young boy. Cersei cruelly told him that he was the reason why they did not have a mother and refused to tell him anything about her. Jaime seemed to have blocked all memories of her. Tyrion tried father once and he had a conversation with him in his study. Tyrion never asked after mother again.

“In part; your sister is witty and charming. She reminds me of your grandmother, she was just as gentle. My Joanna however was not as rash as you and your sister are.” Father mused.

“I’m afraid your mother and you inherited my temperament.” He said plainly.

“Joanna would have made a better queen.” Arya said openly. It seemed the girl would tell anyone who had ears that.

“She would have made a good, albeit more conventional queen. Now your mother would have made a splendid queen but you will be a sight to behold girl.” Tywin said smirking. “You will change the rules. You are too smart for your own good.”

Arya laughed. “Mother said something alike.”

“Run along. Go to your prince and remember…”

“Not a word to mother or anyone else.” She ran after that. 

Cersei stopped following them and went to the Weirwoods. It would not do well for Tywin to know that Cersei had heard him. She wondered about father’s attitude. It was just like him. He loved to be in control of everything. He was plotting for sure. Cersei needed to protect her children, make sure they did not become pawns in Tywin Lannister’s plans. He would not move and sacrifice them in his quest for power. 

It was the day of their departure. Cersei wore a blue gown and prepared for the arduous day ahead. Bran was not happy to leave Winterfell; neither was Arya or Robb for that matter. Tommen was still smitten with young Cassana. Joanna, well her daughter was recovering. Ned kissed her neck. “Your brother wants to see the wall.” Cersei smiled. “He’ll stay then.” 

“Yes, Benjen will make the journey with him. Your father departs for the Westerlands on the morrow.” Ned pulled her gown down. “We don’t have time.” She moaned when he pulled her hair from her braid. “The servant girl spent an hour doing that braid.” The lady complained. 

“I won’t tangle your hair if you ask nicely.” Her lord husband announced, he was freshly awakened, Cersei had ordered the maids to let him sleep longer. He was to ride all day and would need his rest. 

“You’ve had me more times that you can count Ned.” She said against his lips as he pushed her skirts up. “I’ll be quick.” He replied honestly, and his eyes darkened. “You are to leave Winterfell in a few hours, which is why you have to be in the great hall for breakfast. 

“I’ll break my fast with you here in our bedchambers.” Ned said as he nibbled on her neck. Cersei ran her hands through his hair, “Fine.” She relented when his fingers rugged roughly on her laces. 

“I will not see you for at least half a year.” He mumbled to her ear. Cersei nodded, “I will make sure Jon is capable of running our lands and then I’ll join you my love.”

She kissed him just as fiercely. Ned had been preparing for his departure since he accepted the King’s proposition. He took her every night more than once this past week. He was ardent, insistent and possessive, asserting and marking her anew. He caressed her breasts and lowered her gown. “No one would ever be able to see past your gown, why is it that you ladies insist on wearing layers after layers of clothing?” Ned grumbled and ripped her shift and small clothes. Cersei whimpered when he bit her hipbones and proceeded to lick them and bite her skin anew. She had to suppress the moans; her voice carried or so her children told her over the years. 

“I want to hear you roar Lioness.” Ned pushed her legs apart and dove. Her beard scratched but she was used to burn. “It’s early morning, the castle will hear.” 

“Let them.” Ned licked her and helped her achieve a mind blasting orgasm. She was sweaty and boneless when Ned pushed her to her belly and raised her bottom. Cersei smirked. She liked it when he took her like an animal, an alpha wolf in heat. She bit the pillows and gasped when his seed spilled inside of her. Ned licked her back. “You are most sweaty Lady Stark.”

“Whatever shall we do about it?” She asked enjoying his finger dancing over her calves. “I would take you to the hot springs and have my way with you again but alas if we leave these quarters we shall be seen by our children who no doubt will interrupt our plans.” She turned sideways. “I have to take a bath now. I can’t be smelling of you all day.”

“I like the way you smell.” He said and sniffed her breasts and collarbones. 

Cersei kissed his nose. “I shall ask for our bathtub to be filled.” She did and twenty minutes later they were alone once again in their bathtub. “No more fucking.” She said and washed his face. He laughed and washed her face too. Cersei washed her husband with delicacy as if he was a newborn babe. He was relaxed and massaged her shoulders. They remained in the water, facing each other, embracing. Cersei felt the irrational need to ask him for things. “Promise me something my love.” She said as she massaged his scalp. He was utterly relaxed. 

“Anything Lady Stark.” He said with open and trusting eyes. 

“Promise me you will not be an honorable fool.” He was about to refuse her, give her arguments and counterarguments. She shushed him. “These people are snakes in disguise. King’s Landing is a dangerous place, not for you Ned. Promise me that you will try to play the game.”

Ned kissed her forehead, “I don’t know about any games my lioness.” Cersei smiled sadly. “When you play the game of thrones you either win or you die. There is no middle ground my love.” She was worried because as he said earlier, he would be alone for about half a year before Jon was truly ready to take over Winterfell.

“I can protect my family Cersei. I have done so for seven and ten years. I will be fine.” She looked into his grey eyes.

“Promise me you will not trust anyone, No one, not my father, not anyone but our people from Winterfell and Jaime. He swore an oath to protect you and he will keep it.” Ned snorted. The animosity between the two men had not diminished with the years. 

“I will never trust Jaime Lannister, not even for you my love.” He kissed her hands. Cersei frowned, “I will promise you this; I will not let our family be in any danger and I will be cautious as I always have been.” He said with a soothing voice. 

She nodded but the feeling of anxiety did not disappear. They finished bathing and joined everyone else in the great hall of Winterfell. She sat next to Arya who wore a grey dress. Joanna wore a white simple gown. Their children were ready to part by midmorning. Bran hugged her. Her boy did not want to look weak which is why Cersei cried and hugged him tightly. “You will be a good boy, no climbing. King’s Landing is not Winterfell.” She kissed his cheeks. Summer yapped around him. Bran wiped his tears while hiding away from his brothers and anyone else who could tease him because he would miss his mother.

Tommen kissed her goodbye and promised to take care of Bran and keep company with Joanna. He was the most resilient of her children, Cersei knew. Tommen was self assured and easy in nature. Tommen, her sweet boy promised to write every day if it would make her happy. She hugged him and said, “Watch over your sisters and Bran. Do not father any bastards.” She said. Her son blushed. Tommen was a good boy but he was a boy nonetheless and with Robb without Jon to ground him it would be a matter of months before news of bastards reached Winterfell. “You would disgrace me and your father.” She kissed his forehead.

Robb let her kiss his forehead and winked at her when she left. She would sure miss his mischievous nature. “Do not go looking for trouble. Do not father any bastards and make sure to keep away from your uncle Tyrion.” Cersei admonished her son. Robb was wild but in a certain way understood how improper it would be if he fathered any children before wedlock.

“But I like nuncle Tyrion, he keeps very interesting company.” Robb frowned when she smacked him upside the head. “Convince your “nuncle” to take you to the Westerlands and teach you about Casterly Rock. Seek your grandfather. You are his heir.” 

“I will write mother, not as often as you’d like.” Robb had a knack for avoiding important conversation. She hugged him one last time before he joined Prince Gendry. 

Joanna hugged her. “I will miss you very much mother.” Cersei smiled, “As will I my kitten. Remember our chat and be careful in court. You are the wolf and the lion. We are predators do not trust easily. Family comes first and remember your sister loves you.” Cersei said hurriedly as the young girl tried to frown. 

“Mother, we have spoken about this. I do not wish to speak about it any longer.” Joanna said with a silent determination and joined her twin brother and princess Cassana.

Arya was the last of her children she said goodbye to. “Be careful. You are not a child anymore. You are Arya Stark, betrothed to the Crown Prince. Do not shame your father, our family. Keep close to your brothers and sister. Do not be seen alone with any other man than your kin, not even your prince.”

“Mother, I’m not a lady. I will never be a lady…” Her poor wolfling looked scared, more scared than when prince Gendry announced he wanted her as his wife. Lord Lannister’s advices or hers had not yielded the required results.

“You will never be a lady.” Cersei intoned and saw as her daughter’s shoulders slumped. She put her hands around her shoulders and corrected her posture. Arya’s troubled grey eyes looked up to her green ones. 

“You will be queen my love.” Lady Stark kissed both her cheeks and hugged her harder than any of her children because as much as she never acknowledged it she had favorites. She loved Arya and Jon differently, more perhaps, she never entertained those thoughts but it was true and she knew it deep in her heart. Jon had been her salvation. She lived because of Jon and his tiny face and then Arya, her daughter was the fiercest of her children and the most fragile. The dark haired girl was strong, capable, and smart. Arya grew up an accomplished archer and had been able to train with Winterfell’s master at arms but no matter how much training Cersei and Eddard offered their daughters they were still girls. Joanna understood that, she was accomplished in archery but rebelled in the fact that she was a woman. The eldest Stark girl wanted to be a mother, a wife a lady. The youngest Stark girl was insecure in her looks; she thought she was homely, not as beautiful as her mother or elder sister. Arya like Cersei felt powerless. Lady Stark understood that hopeless feeling. Ned loved her and trusted her. He empowered her; few men in Westeros would do so. Cersei understood early on that Arya, like her would despair. This marriage to the Crown Prince had been very opportune. 

Arya would not thrive as a lady but no one dared question a queen. Gendry Baratheon seemed to love her daughter and if Arya played her cards well she could have a happy marriage much like the marriage she had with Eddard. If Arya understood and played the game she would rule the Seven Kingdoms through Gendry Baratheon. Father was right in one aspect; her daughter will be a sight to behold as queen.

Cersei saw as her daughters and youngest son entered the carriages. Robb, Tommen and the prince had mounted their horses and travelled ahead. The king hugged her goodbye and managed to mount his horse with difficulty. The direwolves ran ahead all of them but for Lady and Summer, they preferred the company of their masters and the carriage.

Her husband approached her. “Goodbye my love.” He kissed both her hands. Cersei wanted to hug him and implore him to not leave her. She felt unsettled; something about this trip did not sit well with her. She wanted to keep her family close, with her in the safe wall of Winterfell, the place she once thought to be a cold wasteland. She smiled tightly and kissed his hands too, a small show of affection. Her father frowned at her. She could not care less, what Tywin Lannister felt.

“Be sure to write to me. Keep an eye on Brandon and his direwolf. She did not know what made her say that but there was something about those animals that she trusted. 

“I will. Do not fret my lioness. You will join us in the capital before you know it.” He kissed her forehead and rode ahead.

**Author's Note:**

> New here. I was inspired by some of the work here and decided to give it a try. Let me know what you think. I apologize for any mistakes. :)


End file.
